Three weeks. I was able to last for three whole freakin weeks without him. Well, isn’t it obvious? I’m missing him badly and I can’t even explain why. I mean, I’ve rejected his love, I disappeared in thin air and just threw away a good friendship. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I’m definitely eager to make him forget everything about me and vice versa. Thing is, I can’t even get him off my mind and being able to last for weeks without seeing and talking to him is really a miracle. Now, I’m struggling and it’s all because I’m sick and tired of convincing myself that I’m done with him when truth is, I’m really not.

“Wake up beautiful!”

Mummy is still mummy. Her wake-up calls are still annoying and it’s a perfect way to start my day.

“Five minutes Mummy…I want five effin minutes more to sleep” I told her in a pissed tone then covered myself with the duvet.

She sighed heavily then sat beside me “Bill….you have to get up now coz someone is waiting for you in the living room”

This woke my whole being up in just a snap. I’ve got a visitor and I don’t have a freakin idea on who he/she is coz I only have a few friends and from that few, only Bunny knows where I live. The question now is, who is this freakin visitor?

“Mummy….is it Bunny?” I asked while fixing my hair into a messy bun.

She shrugged.

“What’s with the shrug?” I asked anxiously “Don’t tell me this is just a joke coz…seriously Mum….it’s not funny”

My mother knows about what happened to me and G-dragon. Like Bunny, she’s also devastated with how things ended coz she’s also a “fan” of our team-up. To tell you the truh, Mummy tried talking me out of it, but the stubborn me didn’t even listen to her.

“If I were you….I will just go out to see it for myself” she said then grabbed me by the wrist.

“C’mon now! It’s bad to make a visitor wait” she pulled me out of bed and I don’t even care if I’m just wearing a loose shirt and .

I hate being anxious and I hate surprises, so whoever this is, I’m going to punch him or her on the face for waking me up.

Wait. Let me bring that back. No. I can’t punch HIM on the face.

“OW!” I almost hid behind Mummy “What are you doing here?” I asked.

He looks really surprised to see me. I actually know why coz I’m in my sleep clothes with my just-woke-up face and puffy eyes.

“Hi” he greeted.

Gosh! I missed that smile and his voice, it’s in y.

“uhmmm….c….c…an….y…y…ou…wait for a minute?” I stuttered then looked at what I’m wearing again “I will just….change into something….decent” I continued.

He and Mummy chuckled “Yeah….Go! I’ll just sit here and wait….take your time” he said awkwardly.

“Thanks” I said, almost in a whisper.

“I’m going with you Ugly!” Drake ran inside my room in a flash and I didn’t even bother to shoo him away.

This is not happening. Can someone slap me hard so that I can wake up from this dream? Or nightmare? No. Dream. I swear. If this is a dream, just let me sleep forever so that he will not disappear anymore.

“Ugly….why aren’t you moving? You need to change now” Drake brought me back to my senses.

I looked at him then threw myself in bed “What am I going to do? Why is he here?” I asked, with my face buried on the mattress.

I know that I’m wishing and have been praying to God to see him, but not this soon. I told myself that I will let things cool down first and once it’s all cool and he’s gotten over his feelings towards me already, that’s when I’m going to show up and maybe, be friends with him again.

“Ugly” Drake climbed up the bed and lay down beside me “Jiyong hyung looks like he’s missing you a lot….did you know that he waited outside our apartment for an hour?” he asked, making me look at him in shock.

“What? He waited for an hour? Why?” I asked curiously.

“Because…he doesn’t want to wake us up…so…he just waited for someone to go out….lucky him….coz I decided to go out for a short walk and I saw him sitting on the stairs with a bouquet of flowers beside him and packed food on his other side” he answered.

That man is really something. He didn’t even chase me after I walked out of the storage room weeks ago and didn’t even dare to call or visit me again after that. And now, here he is, being all sweet again. What the heck is going on with him?

“You should’ve told him that I’m not here” I told Drake.

He sat up, smirked then looked at me “Ugly….why would I lie to him? Aren’t you dying to see him? I heard you and Bunny talking on the phone last night….you’re near to crying already coz you are missing him badly….now that he’s here….why are you acting this way when you’re supposed to be throwing yourself at him coz you miss him so much?”

Drake is talking like a girl who knows so much about love and relationships, when truth is, he’s just a kid and he’s got a lot of sense in him which I’m so envious about.

“But monster….I’m not ready to face him yet….not after telling him who I really was” I told him.

He sighed heavily “I may not know what really happened to you and him before….but….Ugly…I can feel that he’s not giving a damn on who you are in the past….what he wants is you….the PRESENT you…not the old you….look…I’m also a guy….and I can say that once we love a person….we will not stop till we get that person….and I can see in Jiyong hyung that he will not stop till he get you” I cannot believe that a ten year old is saying these things to me.

I don’t know how long I stayed inside the room with Drake, but I can say that my brother really put some sense in me and if weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even have the guts to face G-dragon.

“Go! Face your prince charming!” he teased.

I rolled my eyes then pulled him closer to me “You are such an ” I said then hugged him tightly “A pretty and I love you so so much!” I pinched his cheeks then kissed it.

“YUCK!” he said while wiping his cheek.

This is it! I’m going out of this room and I’m gonna show him that I’m all cool now, that I’m still the  Billie that he knew months ago. I will try not to be awkward coz I know that it will just make things so complicated for me.

“At last!” Mummy said upon seeing me walking in the living room.

I forced a smile then sighed “Sorry to keep you waiting” I told him.

He just gave out a smile “It’s all good” he said then scanned me from head to foot.

The way he’s looking at me is really making me uncomfortable coz his eyes are glued at me. Now I can attest to what Drake told me awhile ago. He did miss me and it’s not just any ordinary “miss thing”, it’s intense that if only he can hug me just to see if I’m real, he will do it.

“Talk for while… I’ll just prepare the food that Jiyong bought for us” Mummy said with a wide smile on her face.

“Ow! You should’ve not bothered” I told him.

He chuckled “It’s just a small thing” he said and I just let him be.

The moment Mummy left, my heart started banging my chest like it’s going out of me any moment soon and it’s driving me insane coz I don’t even know what will happen after this. We don’t have anything to talk about and just the mere fact that we’re sitting close to each other is enough to make my head swirl in nervousness and anxiety.

“Ah!” he picked up a humongous bouquet of flowers beside him then handed it to me.

I gasped in shock even though I’m aware of it already. Seriously, he’s the first guy who gave me flowers coz none from my past suitors has ever given me one.

“Wow! Thanks!” I got it from him and smiled coz he’s given me pink and white tulips.

“Did you know that I love Tulips?” I asked and he smiled at me.

“Yes...coz the girl in middle school always has tulips on her ears every time she goes home from school”

He’s bringing back old memories of Kenken once again. This is really a shock coz I’m not expecting him to remember these things at all especially when it’s been years already.

Well, what he said is true. I always ask for a tulip from the owner of a flower shop near our school and she’ll willingly give me one, making me smile while walking home. During that time, that ahjumma is the one making my every day happy coz she never looks down on me and she’ll always call me beautiful.

“How did you know that?” I asked curiously.

“Well” he took a deep breath “I think you’ve already forgotten….I walked you home for one whole week before…and the ajhumma at the flower shop near our school will always call you and give you a tulip….she is even the one putting the flower on your ear”

This man’s memory is no joke coz he can still remember every detail of it like it just happened yesterday.

And that broke the ice I guess coz after being awkward with him, the old us came back like nothing happened. We’re laughing our asses out while reminiscing our “bum day” which we both miss already.

“This is odd” I said all of a sudden.

“What is odd?” he asked curiously.

“This” I told him “US…..we are so odd....awhile ago…we are two awkward and totally nervous individuals…now….we act like the best of friends” I added, making him sigh.

“Billie…you’re right…I guess…we should just leave the past behind and not bring it back anymore….but…if there’s one thing that I want to do before that….it is….to apologize for hurting you” here he is again. He’s going to make things uncomfortable for me again.

I looked straight into his eyes then took a deep breath “I know that it’s been years and I should’ve moved on from it already….but….I can’t….and it’s all because….you made me fall for you….HARD….so hard that I brought that love till I move to Junior high….if you only know how humiliated I am after you ditched me….you will pity me to the core coz everybody’s laughing at me….I feel so small during that time….that I even thought of quitting school because of all the bullying….I cried every night till I was what? Fourteen? Because I still cannot believe that I fell in love with someone who played me….that even though I keep on telling myself to hate you….I can’t because my love for you is just so strong….good thing…it grew on me and together with my “beautiful” evolution….whatever I’m feeling towards you was washed away….or if not washed completely…it was forgotten….that I’m good in seeing you on television without being reminded of what you’ve done….I’m a