Are there times wherein you feel so heavy inside that breathing well seems so impossible anymore? Does your heart get messed in way that you feel like it’s not going to be cleared ever again? Have you thought and missed a person so much that even though you don’t want to see him or her, at the end of the day, you’ll find yourself praying to God to make your paths cross once again?

Why am I being like this? It’s been exactly two weeks since we last saw each other and up until now, every word that came out from his mouth is still so fresh in my mind. I can still smell his expensive perfume blended with cigarette scent. His voice is still ringing in my ear and I don’t know if I’m already going psycho, but there are times wherein I feel like he’s so near me but whenever I look around, there’s not even a shadow of him anywhere. Am I going out of my mind? I don’t know. All I know is that I want to get out of this situation as soon as possible and live every day like before.

Waking up in the morning knowing that I’m going to do the same things like yesterday is really boring me. I told you, I’m not good to be in a company for I get bored easily. Bunny and I are still working at Hong Jang hyun’s photo company. In all fairness to this job, it’s fun. Thing is, we do the same things over and over and over again.

I arrange, fix and clean sets. I check and edit photos sometimes but have never held a shoot with me behind the lenses. Our studio on the other hand is not struggling anymore for we were able to pay our rent. Thing is, we don’t have any time to open it for we’re so busy working for another company. Oh well, I guess I really have to this up coz I’m earning big here and I really need a good source of income these days.

“Ugly” MG walked in my room without knocking on the door.

“Get out!” I threw a pillow at her lazily then covered my whole body with the duvet.

Of course she won’t listen to me and next thing I know it, she’s sitting on the edge of my bed already and tugging my duvet.

“What?!” I asked, annoyed.

“You have to wake up now…seriously Ugly…you have to see what’s going in the living room”

I don’t know, but I have a feeling that our mother is doing something crazy once again and if it happens to be SUPER crazy, I will definitely jump off the cliff.

Dragging my lazy body out of bed, I head to the living room with my sister in tow just to find Mummy on the floor, crying her lungs out.

Her shrieks are really deafening. She cries like a baby and I don’t even know why. Maybe she’s having this massive anxiety attack or a nervous breakdown, or she and her boyfriend (I’m sure she has one, she’s just hiding it from us this time) had a lovers quarrel. This is making me nuts coz I really hate seeing her cry.

I stood near her and just watched her bawl.

“What is happening to her?” I asked MG in a whisper.

Mummy is crying so hard, we can’t even hear what each other is saying.

MG shrugged “I don’t know…I woke up because of her and when I went out of my room….she’s already on the floor….crying….I asked what her problem is but she didn’t respond” she answered.

These moments are really normal in this household already for my family is a bunch of drama queens and king. Actually, out of the four of us, I’m the most normal one coz I don’t really bawl out and cry like the world is ending already. Drama is really not for me and seeing my mother or any of my siblings in their most dramatic moment is really annoying.

“Mummy! Will you shut it?!” I exclaimed, shocking my sister.

She looked at my direction and just stared at me. This is so freaky.

“What’s going on with you?” I asked with my arms crossed across my chest.

As expected, she didn’t respond and it annoyed me more. I know that I should be a bit soft and understanding of my mother but if you’re so used to these sudden breakdowns, like me, you’re just going to take this as a normal and annoying thing.

“What is going on?” she woke Drake up as well. This has to stop.

“MUMMY!” our brother ran to our dramatic mother right away upon seeing her “What did the two of you do to her?” he asked in rage.

I looked at him in disbelief “Excuse me?” I said.

I’m near to kicking this kid’s already. How can he point a finger at us when we’re not even doing anything.

“Hey minion” I said and walked near him and Mummy “I didn’t do anything to her….your mother is once again being dramatic….don’t worry….she won’t die yet” I said out of annoyance.

Upon hearing this, Mummy sat up then looked at the three of us with bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks. She looks horrible.

“Mummy….what is going on with you?” MG asked.

She started crying again and blabbered something.

“Mum!” I yelled “Will you calm down even for a minute? You’re talking but we can’t even understand a thing that you’re saying”

She took a deep breath then exhaled loudly. Cleared then wiped her tears “I’m sorry guys” she said, earning strange looks from us.

“Sorry for what?” I asked.

I don’t know why, but I feel nervous about this. Mummy rarely apologizes no matter how big or small her mistakes are. She will not even lower herself down for people, even to us. Why is she apologizing to us now?

“Mummy” I bent down, rubbed her back for comfort, helped her to stand then led her to the couch.

“Get a glass of water for her” I told MG and she obeyed right away.

I sighed heavily then stared at my mother “Why are saying sorry to us?” I asked while brushing some hair off her forehead.

She cupped my face with both hands then hugged me tightly. Did she do something so serious that will make us hate her to the core?

MG walked in the living room with a glass of water in hand. She handed it to Mummy but she didn’t even drink it.

“MG…Drake…sit here” she called and the two sat on the floor, facing us.

I looked at my siblings and like me, they are spooked by our mother as well.

“Listen to me” at last she speaks out already “Mummy is….”

“Oh please! Don’t tell us that you’re getting married ….or worse…you’re pregnant” MG butted in, receiving a good slap on the arm from me.

“Let her speak first” I told her and she sighed heavily.

“I’m not getting married nor am I pregnant” Mummy said and the three of us sighed in relief “I lost my job”

The moment I heard what she said, I alm