There are times wherein you just have to lower yourself down and open your mind to things that you were blinded on. Take it from me, I’m not the kind of person who will admit a mistake for in my mind, I am only doing things that are good not only for me but for the people around me as well, what I didn’t know is that I’m already being selfish by acting and thinking like this. Asking for help even though I badly need it is just so hard to me because all my life, I feel like a burden already and when I was diagnosed with Leukemia and experienced how to be seriously and deeply drowned by it, I became a heavy load and because of my want to not be a burden and a big responsibility to others, I tried my hardest to go through this painful phase of my life alone and haven’t even thought of what the people around me thinks and feels about me rejecting their help every time.

Now, after my marriage almost fell flat on the ground, I can say that I’ve already learned my lesson. I was blinded with pride and is always overthinking and exaggerating things that brought me into ruins. I swear. G-dragon almost gave up on me and he’s really vocal of that. The night that we patched things up, we decided to openly talk about our differences and our problems with each other and from there, I can say that we become aware of each other and is more sensitive as well. If before we just let things be and not talk about certain problems that much, now it’s going to be different for we have agreed to talk things out together and not deal with them alone simply because we’re partners and if there’s a person that we can count on to, it’s us and nobody else’s.

“I don’t know….but….I always have this thing about asking for help from others….it’s just so hard for me to ask for it…maybe because I’m not used to people helping me….or….I just learned from a very young age how to depend on myself only” I told him with tears pooling in my eyes.

He caressed my cheek with a warm smile on his face “I’m sometimes like that as well…I have moments wherein I try to solve things on my own even if I know so well that I need help…but you know what? I’ve realized after some time that we really can’t shoulder our problems alone…yes we can do something about it by ourselves only but it’ll take us forever to solve compared to when you have someone to help you with it…trust me….life shouldn’t be dealt alone...you have to have someone to deal with it and I’ll be happy to be that someone for you” he tapped the tip of my nose, making me giggle.

“Opposites do attract” I said, making him look at me curiously.

“What do you mean?” he asked and I wrapped my arms around him.

I took a deep breath and looked at him “I’m selfish and you’re selfless” I answered.

He smirked “You’re not selfish Kenken” he said then cupped my face with both hands “You just don’t want to open yourself to others”

My husband never fails to pull me up whenever I feel so low already and not even once did I hear him belittle me. To him, I’m a good woman even when the world is seeing me differently. Love isn’t really blind for your partner sees the beauty of your soul and heart before you even see it and when it’s true, nothing matters anymore, what’s important is you stick with each other through thin and thick and till death do you part.

“So….” he pulled me closer to him.

I looked at him intently while waiting for him to continue “Are you going to continue with the transplant now?” he asked.

I smiled then hugged him tightly “Yes” I answered.

“Tell me….why are you so hesitant to it?” he asked.

“It’s not that I’m hesitant….it’s just…I’m afraid that it’ll fail….I know that I’m being negative once again….but….that’s what I really feel” I answered, making him sigh heavily.

“Kenken…you’ll be fine….the transplant will be a success….don’t worry about anything….what you have to think about are the things that we’ll do after you get well…just imagine it…you’re going to live like before…you can move without limits as well…you can continue your craziness once again” he said, making me smile.

“And we can make a family already” I told him and it made him smile from ear to ear.

This is what he’s waiting to hear from me. To be honest, up until now I still don’t know if having a family is possible, but we’re talking about Billie and Jiyong Kwon here who doesn’t have the word “IMPOSSIBLE” on their vocabulary.

After that night, all our problems feels like they were solved already and even if some of them really don’t have any solution, we just brushed it off and let time solve it for us. It’s just now that I’ve realized, we can really work everything out just by talking and I’m hoping for things to go smoothly already.

Two days passed and I’m like a dog who is always with her master wherever he goes. I’m going crazy once again for I just compared myself with a dog, but yeah, it’s really like that for G-dragon wouldn’t let go of me even for a few hours. I don’t know what happened, but he became clingy now more than ever.

“Aren’t we going home yet?” I asked during his break.

He pulled me closer to him then kissed my temple “I still have a few more sets to rehearse…don’t worry…it won’t take long”

I sighed heavily, making him giggle “Aigoo…are you tired already?” he asked.

I smirked “That question is actually for you Jiyong” I said “Aren’t you tired? You’ve been dancing and singing for hours now and whenever you take a break it’ll only be just for fifteen minutes which is not enough”

Seriously, G-dragon is killing himself with all these intense and non-stop rehearsals. Yes, I know that he’s doing everything to give a good show to his fans, but it’s just too much.

Of course, that “I won’t take long” statement of his is not true because after his break he decided to run through e every set from the beginning, that drove me completely insane. I can actually sing all of his songs already and perform it without any mistakes for I’ve memorized each words and moves already.

“Are you hungry?” G-dragon asked while driving.

“I’m just wild and young….I’m just wild and young…do it just for fun….HEEEELLLLLOOOOOO….yes sir! I’m one of a kind...” I sang randomly, making him look at me weirdly.

“Yaaa….I thought you hate singing my songs?” he asked.

“Why so serious? Get yo crayon….crayon…get yo cray…get yo crayon” this is really fun. I’m in the mood to play around and my agenda is to piss the hell out of my husband.

“Aigoo….Billie Kennedy Kwon…do you know how weird it is to hear you singing my song?” he asked.

“I can’t breathe…huh-huh…I can’t breathe…huh-huh” I literally moaned while singing this, making it really awkward.

G-dragon looked at me in shock “Did you just moan?” he asked and I looked at him innocently.

We’re already on our way home after a tiring day. I’m starving but I’m feeling something that is more intense than that.

“Oh! What are you doing?” my husband asked when I pushed the