I can feel my heart jumping in joy. I don’t know, but I’m in total bliss and even though I’ve been with a few girls in the past, this is the first time that I ever felt this happy upon entering a relationship. Billie is really a special girl and thankfully in one way or another, there’s some clearance on who wear to each other already. I know that our situation right now is still complicated, but I’m willing to wait. After all, I have a feeling that this is going to be one heck of a relationship not just because we love each other so much and even if things are happening a little bit fast for us, our feelings are still developing in a normal pace.

Waking up without her beside me really freaked me out. I keep on looking for her around my apartment but didn’t see even a shadow of her. I sleep like a log and I admit that it’s really a challenge waking me up, but I just wish that she at least made an effort to wake me or maybe she did but gave up after realizing that I’m hopeless.

“Where are you?” I muttered to myself. I don’t know what to think anymore.

It seems like I really am not a morning person because my brain isn’t working at all. Calling her didn’t even hit my mind. AISH!

“This is ” I said while looking for my phone “There you are!” I said then grabbed it on the side table.

“OH!” I gasped upon seeing my screen photo.

Is this even normal? How can a woman look so damn gorgeous in the morning? Am I dating a human being?

Stupid me. I’m worrying for nothing because Billie left a note for me and if only I’ve seen this earlier, I wouldn’t go frantic at all.

“How I wish you have and brassieres as well”

“Aigoo” I said upon reading that line.

This woman is really cool. This is totally insane because she’s the first girl who raided my closet and borrowed a whole outfit from me. I’m not that cool with it, but because it’s Billie we’re talking about here, I can let it pass. And because she asked for and brassieres, I’ll give it to her. I’m going to buy her dozens of it just to have her wish granted.

“I’m in-love” I giggled then plopped myself on the long couch.

Yesterday, all I can think of is how to make Billie comfortable with me once again after what her brother told me. What I didn’t expect is that, she’s going to talk it out with me and everything ended up in a good way. The secrets and all the heaviness that she’s keeping inside her has now been lifted up, making her feel so light already and I’m so thankful because I was the one who helped her get through it.

I can say that our relationship right now is still undefined, but we’re getting there. She’s not yet ready for any commitment and I’m so willing to give her time to weigh her feelings and maybe discover some things about her that she doesn’t even have a clue she has.

How long am I going to wait? I’m going to sound a bit odd if my answer to this question will be “I’m going to wait forever”, but believe it or not, I’m really going to wait till I don’t know when. It’s been months since our paths crossed and I must admit, up until now I’m still a bit curious as to why God gave us another shot to each other. Oh well, there’s no need to think about these things coz what matters now is me and her, and our future together.

I have a feeling that this day will be so hectic for the both of us. She’s got a lot of things to do in Jang Hyun Hyung’s studio while I’ve got a performance in a few hours. I don’t know how we’re going to pull this all off, but I’m hoping that we can work things out even with our plates full of different and crazy things.

“Yaaa….your smile can rip your face in half already” TOP hyung joked while looking at me through the mirror.

We are being prepped up by the coordi noonas for our performance and it’s not only TOP hyung who recognized the smile on face, everybody has been teasing me about it as well.

“Look at this man….you’re so in-love to the point that it’s oozing out of your body already” Ji Eun noona said, making all of us laugh.

I sighed “Is it that obvious?” I asked, earning a smirk from her.

“It’s so obvious Jiyong-ah…and I really love seeing you like this…I mean…when was the last time that you smiled from ear to ear? Your aura is just so light and your face is glowing….it seems like Billie has made wonders coz we all know….even you know….that you’re so far from being this even when you’re in-love” she said, making me smile more.

“What did you see in her that you didn’t see on others?” TOP hyung asked.

This is really hard to answer. I swear. I haven’t asked this to myself yet.

I looked at TOP hyung then shrugged “I don’t know” I answered, making him look at me in confusion.

“Don’t tell me that you just love her without any reason at all…coz…that’s a bit….weird” Ji Eun noona said.

I sighed heavily “I guess…it’s my long-time feelings for her that is working its wonders now”

Youngbae joined us “Jiyong….are you even sure that this is love…as in real love….not just pity or guilt?” he asked.

This is really a tricky question.

I took a deep breath then smiled “No….this is not just pity or guilt….coz…if it is….I won’t be this in-love with her….look…you might think that I’m just being kind and loving because I’ve done something wrong to her that almost wrecked her life….but….it’s not that…I’m really in-love with this woman….she’s a total package….she’s got the brains….the beauty….the body….the personality and the purity that not all men can find in other women….Billie is really different from your typical chic….her coolness is to die for and her being natural is very amazing…yes….she’s totally broken….no…shattered into bits…but….she’s not letting it affect her every day….she breaks once in a while but after minutes of crying…she’s done with it and has gotten over it as well….she’s everything that a man can ask for….and…I’m freakin lucky to have her”

I sound so dreamy while saying these things, but what the hell! These are all true anyway. To others I might look like I’m just being so kind to her because I’ve done something so big and hurtful. But believe me, this is love that I’m feeling it’s not guilt or pity or whatever.

“Jiyong…are you sure that you can handle this? I mean….with the way things are going now….it’s already getting chaotic….does Billie at least have a clue on what she’s about to enter or….better say…have entered?” Ji Eun noona asked.

At this point, I feel like my brain is being fried because I can’t even think right. I’m floating in air because I’m so in-love but there are also a lot of worries and “what if’s” in my mind. I told myself that I will not give a damn on these for now, but it looks like I cannot run away from it no matter how hard I try.

“I don’t know Noona….I’m actually worrying about her because she suddenly changed her view on this….I mean…before….she’s all cool with the bashing and the chaos…but after reading a lot of articles and bad comments about her….she broke down and it’s really a drag coz I don’t want to see her in tears just because of me and my crazy chaotic world” I answered.

They all looked at me in pity. These people are the ones who know me so well and they can see in me that I’m trying to make things light for Billie, but like before, it’s so far from being possible.

“Don’t worry Jiyong” Youngbae said while patting my back “Everything’s gonna go smooth for you and Billie….just….don’t let her privacy be eaten by the masses….you know what I mean”

I sighed heavily then gave a nod “I know” I said “Actually….that woman is strong….she can handle heavy loads all by herself…thing is…even strong ones go weak from time to time”

They all smiled at me “Yaaaa…..you never talk like this before….why do I have a feeling that you found your match already?” TOP hyung asked, making everybody giggle.

“Maybe she is the one” I said in a dreamy tone.

“OK…let’s stop this….he’s already drifting off to love land….and Kwon Jiyong…this isn’t time to go there yet coz….you’ve got a performance to nail….remember…you during your last stage….you have to bring yourself up again” Ji Eun noona said in a very serious tone, making me laugh.

“I promised Billie that I’m gonna give one heck of a performance today…I’m sure that girl is going to watch so…I’m gonna give it my all” I told her.

“Erase her from your mind for a while!” they said in unison, shocking me.

I cannot. Seriously, I tried getting my head on the performance but she’s really dominating my brain. I can still feel her warmth