“I love you Billie…I love every inch you”

This man has definitely lost his marbles. Seriously, why is he saying these things to me?

“I’ll just pretend that I didn’t hear it” I told him.

He looked at me intently. I bowed my head down then sighed.

This shouldn’t be happening. Love is so out of this relationship. We are just friends and that’s where it’ll be till the end. I don’t even fully trust him yet and here he is, ing my mind up with his crazy confession.

“Billie”

I took a deep breath then faced him “I’ve already heard that before…..and during that time….I believed in it a hundred one percent….next thing I know it….I’m crying like hell coz I got my heart broken for the very first time”

I don’t even know why I’m saying these things to him when I know so well that this is going to give me away. I’m hiding the truth from him even though I can already feel that he knows who I really am. That I am the ugly girl in middle school that he played with and broke her poor heart in pieces.

“Billie” he touched my arms then looked straight into my eyes “Whoever said that to you….means it” he said and received a smirk from me “He was just afraid to admit that it was what he really feels towards you”

This is totally insane! Even now that we’re already adults, he’s still lying. Or, maybe he’s not, but, I won’t even buy any word that he say coz I’ve learned from experience to not believe anybody, especially this man.

“You know what? I guess….I have to go now….it’s late and I’m going crazy” I told him awkwardly then stood up from the couch.

He looked at me in surprise then held me back “Jiyong” I called then removed his hand from mine “Let’s just forget that this happened” I told him then walked away.

When I thought that this day will end right, here comes a freakin love confession, ready to ruin everything for me. I don’t know, but there’s something in me that is quite convinced that he’s telling the truth and that he’s sincere. Thing is, I’m afraid to give in coz I don’t want to get my heart broken again.

I went home with a blank mind. Yes, I’m not thinking of anything nor am I accepting any thoughts in it. I keep on telling myself that I should just forget what I heard and move one, but I just can’t coz my heart is not letting me do it. Up until now, my heart is still beating like hell to the point that I cannot breathe normally already. This is killing me. If only I know that this thing will happen, I should’ve not become friends with him.

“What’s going on with you?” Mummy asked upon seeing me zoning out in the living room.

I jerked up in shock “Ow! Why are you still awake?” I asked.

She sat beside me then sighed “What are you thinking? It looks like….you’re in deep thoughts”

Mothers can really tell if their children are going through something, which is good but at the same time annoying because when all you want is to be alone, here she comes, asking you questions that you yourself cannot answer.

“Nothing….I’m just tired” I said while rubbing my temples.

“Tired from what?” she asked “From thinking about Jiyong?”

Mummy is really pushing me to him and to her, we are already dating. Believe it or not, ever since the rumors about me and G-dragon came out, her confidence level just went up to that high bar when it’s low and drained weeks ago.

Speaking of that rumor, YG Entertainment chose to not comment about it. According to them, it’s G-dragon’s business and they don’t have the right to interfere. Thing is, G-dragon himself doesn’t want to say a word as well because it’ll just fire things up. I don’t know where this’ll take me, but I’m all good with whatever coz I know that I’m innocent and no matter how his fans bash and kill me, they wouldn’t get any confirmation at all because clearly, there’s nothing to confirm.

“Mum! Please!” I exclaimed.

“What? I’m just helping you get that thing out of your system” she said, earning a weird look from me.

“Thing? What thing?” I asked curiously.

She grabbed my hand then placed it on my left chest “The thing in there”

I rolled my eyes at her “There’s nothing in here Mum”

She sighed “There is….and he’s no other than Jiyong”

This is completely nuts. Why is everybody pushing me to him when I’m trying so hard not to get real close?

“He’s not Mum….believe me….he’s not” I almost begged.

She shook her head “No….Bill….you’re just blocking it….you’re denying it….which is not good at all….coz you are just putting yourself in a situation that will definitely get the hell out of you…Look…” she held my shoulders then smiled.

“…it’s Ok to fall in love….it’s part of it all….believe me….there’s a man for you out there….and for you to get to him…you should open your heart to some even though they are not the right one and after the trials and errors…you’ll see…he has already come….that heart of yours has been closed ever since…you have dated men but you never loved them…maybe…this is the right time that you open yourself to the world of love and let yourself be drowned in it….you’re not getting any younger…you have to explore this world for you not to be left behind….there are a lot of men….but only a few of them deserves you and if you’re not going to look for them….they will be caught by someone else….what do we know….the man for you is just around the corner….waiting for you to notice him….or….maybe he’s already in your life….but you’re just pushing him away”

I’ve never heard Mummy talk like this. I swear. She’s really into it and I really felt each and every word that came out of .

“You know so well that falling in love is really hard for me….trusting my heart to someone is really a big thing….Mummy…” I held her hands “I’m afraid….I’m afraid to fall because I’ve been hurt before and no matter how hard I try to brush that nightmare off….I can’t….and I don’t know why….it’s still here” I pointed at my heart “and here” I pointed at my mind “The pain that I felt is one heck of a wake-up call…that….I shouldn’t trust any guy at all….coz….at the end of the day…I’ll be left alone….shattered and broken in bits….I’m going through a lot already and I don’t want to add things to it more….coz….it’ll really make me insane”

I’m being honest here. Trust is really a big thing to me. I don’t give it easily, especially to the people who have hurt me to the core. Yes, that includes G-dragon.

Sleeping is just so hard when you’re bugged by something and waking up the next morning is equally hard for you don’t know what’s going to happen next.

The moment I opened my eyes, his confession flashed back through me and once again, I’m ed up by it. His sincere sounding voice is ringing in my ear and no matter how hard I try to forget it, I can’t and it .

“UGLY!” Drake is being loud once again and it really pissed me off.

“WHAT!” I yelled