“Jiyong…I can try….but I’m not ready for anything serious” I told him while looking straight into his eyes.

He cupped my face with both hands “Kenken…I can wait….and I’m damn serious”

Lying in bed while dealing with all the “what if’s” in your head . I’ve been trying to sleep for hours already and here I am, still awake coz my mind is still running at its best. Why? Why can’t I just be at peace with whatever decision I just made?

“mmmm” G-dragon squirmed when I tried removing his arm away from my body.

Last night was really emotional yet sweet. When I thought that I won’t be able to open my past to him, here come all the words on the tip of my tongue, ready to be spitted out. I don’t know how I’ve done it, but I really feel so light after that talk. Of course, it’s not just talk that we did last night. We exchanged sweet words, he cooked for me, and made love for the second time. I still feel like I’m on cloud nine for it was just so magical. I didn’t know that a man and a woman can really be so fit for each other in so many ways. I know that this whole thing is wrong in some ways because it can bring us to much more complicated things, but it’s already here, we have done it already and the only thing we can do now is be careful.

He is smiling while sleeping. I don’t know what’s going on in his dream but I’m happy to see him this way. Two nights ago, I found myself staring at him in the dark car, after a tiring night. That’s when I realized that he is really a good man and you can easily point it out just by looking at his beautiful face.

I still cannot believe that the boy who first broke my heart is the guy I’m with today. If this is destiny doing wonders for us, I must say, I’m totally impressed for it got us this far coz I’m gonna be honest, not in a million years have I thought of meeting this man again, but because of some crazy things, here we are, crazily in-love with each other.

If you’re going to ask me how much I love this man? I will answer you without even thinking twice, “More than my life”. Thing is, I’m not good with things yet. I still have a lot of issues to solve and get over with. For now what’s important is, I was able to show him that he means a lot to me as well and sooner or later, I can be the woman that he pictured me to be.

“Wake up” I whispered in his ear.

He’s not moving an inch. This man sleeps like a log but in all fairness to him, he’s really quiet though he talks in his sleep (don’t ask me about what he said coz I cannot understand it at all).

“Jiyong….wake up now” I said tapping his cheek lightly.

I swear. He has to wake up now or I’ll leave without him knowing. Well, I’m not going to leave for good, OK? I’m just going to work coz we’ve got a lot of clients today, which means that we have to be in the studio early.

And because he’s not giving a damn on me, I just decided to leave but don’t worry, I left a note for him. Of course, I don’t want him to worry about me. This man’s got a lot of work to do today as well and I’m so sure that his mind will be scattered all over the place if I happen to leave without any note for him.

Prince Charming,

Why is it so hard to wake you up? Gosh! I’ve been shaking you and almost slapped you on the face just for you to at least open your eyes, but of course, I won’t be that violent. Anyway, I’m going to work now. I don’t want to be late because we’ve got a lot of clients today. I’m going to be in the studio till early evening.

PS: I borrowed a whole outfit from you. I must admit, I enjoyed scanning your closet. And damn Jiyong! Almost all your clothes are for women! Oh well, you’ll not be hailed as a damn fashionista if you’ve got a boring closet. How I wish you have and brassieres as well. Haha! Check your phone, I left something there for you:) Remember the picture that you sent me? The one that you say I can kiss whenever I miss you? Well, here’s my own version of it. Kiss it all you want. Just don’t do it in public coz it’s a little embarrassing to be seen lapping your phone. Haha! See you later? Soon? Whatever!

Xoxo

Why is it so hard to leave him now? Oh my! This is really weird. My mind is still filled with his sweet words and I can’t get over last night as well.

“Oh !” I said upon missing the bus stop.

“Great!” I said in frustration.

How can I daydream inside a bus? And to top it all off, I’m awake. My eyes are open but it seems like my mind is drifting off to another dimension. G-dragon is to be blamed for all this! Now, I have to walk for fifteen minutes. Good luck to my super lazy body.

Sweating and panting, I finally reached the studio. As expected, I’m late once again. The staffs are already prepping up the set and Bunny is on her work mode already. She’s so busy cleaning the cameras, but the moment she saw me, she almost jump on me in excitement.

“KENKEN!” her energy is up to the heavens.

“WHAT?” I tried matching it.

She laughed “What happened? Did you do it again?”

Gosh! Why does she have to ask me these things? I know that we are best friends and sharing our lives to each other is just so normal, but for some unexplainable reason, I’m not ready to share mine yet.

“SHHHH!” I dragged her to a corner “Keep your freakin mouth shut!” I said.

She giggled “Oh my Kenken….I didn’t know that you’d be this private with your life…seriously….there’s nothing to be private about”

This woman can’t understand it at all and neither do I.

“I don’t know why I’m being so private…but….for now….can we just keep it low? I mean…I don’t want the whole world to know that I’m having with G-dragon….coz you know…his fans might kill me” I told her, making her laugh so loud.

“You are really an ! Look…there’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing…well…it’s wrong because is just for married people…but everybody’s doing it in a sinful way nowadays…I’m sure God can understand you…I’m sure he knows that you did that because of love….and didn’t he say….we should give love to everybody? OK…I know that I’m not making any sense at all” she is really losing it