My life isn’t as normal and peaceful, but it’s never been this chaotic. I don’t know, but I feel like I’ve put myself in a really complicated situation and now, all I want is to get out of it, but I don’t know how.

“Jiyong….what are you doing here?”

And when I thought that I’m going to deal with all this alone, here he comes, ready to save me from insanity.

“What’s up?” he asked coolly.

My tears are siding and my heart is about to burst out of my chest already, I’m so emotional that I just found myself in his arms. I’m hugging him like he was going to disappear in thin air.

I must admit, even with all these people comforting me, his presence and warmth has helped me to relax and calm down.

“I’m sorry” he apologized while rubbing my back gently “Don’t cry anymore….everything’s gonna be fine” his voice is really soothing.

“Jiyong….she’s having a breakdown….and it’s going to last for long” Bunny told him.

He sighed then pulled out from the hug. I looked at him and he smiled at me “Aigoo….you told me that you don’t give a damn about them….why is it you’re melting down all of a sudden?” he asked.

I wiped my tears with the sleeves of my jacket then looked straight into his eyes “I’m all cool with it before….when things are not this serious yet….but….after reading everything….it started hitting me….and it was in hard to take in” I answered.

He wrapped his arms around my waist then wiped the tears that are continuously running down my cheeks “Stop thinking about it….don’t even get affected…look at me” he cupped my face with both hands then stared at me “These are part of it….and I’m sorry for putting you in this situation….but don’t worry….I’ve got you protected….we’re already doing some damage control and believe me….it’s going to end in no time”

Honestly, I know that this isn’t going to end soon and no matter what they do, this rumor or scandal or whatever it is, will not be forgotten by the masses that easily. Just take it from all the girls that have been linked to celebrities and especially to idols. Their names are still being connected to these men even after denying everything. I may not be that interested in the world of showbizness, but I know how it works and I know so well that what I’m going through right now is not going to be fun.

After my “emo” moment, I finally calmed down and was able to work even with a twisted mind. G-dragon chose to stay with me rather than rehearsing for a performance tomorrow. He’s really sacrificing his career just for me and even though I don’t want him to, having him here makes me feel so secured.

“It seems like you just brought your friendship to another level” Bunny said in the middle of editing some photos.

I looked at G-dragon who is so busy with his phone then looked at Bunny “What are you talking about?” I asked, pretending to be innocent.

She rolled her eyes then shook her head “Kenken….don’t you think this is too much of a torture?”

I smirk “Torture? Who’s being tortured?”

“You are torturing him….and….you….are also torturing yourself” she stopped what she’s doing then faced me fully “Look…I know that being in a relationship is so out of your mind….but….you can’t deny it anymore…you want a relationship with this guy….he loves you….and I know so well that it’s so hard for him to love you knowing that you have feelings for him too but you just can’t get over your issues…causing you to be so hard on yourself…you’re pushing him away and then pulling him back again which is somewhat draining”

I sighed heavily “Bubu….you know so well that I’ve got a lot on my plate right now and a relationship is just going to be the end of me….I’m afraid to love because I don’t want to get hurt….and up until now Istill have trust issues….and if I’m going to give Jiyong a shot….I’m sure…sooner or later…I will just hurt him and I will not be able to forgive myself if that happens”

Here I am again. My mind and heart is having an all-out war because of all these . I don’t even know who to blame because of this anymore. I’m in a really ed up situation and what’s worst is, I don’t know how to solve and get out of it.

“If I were you….don’t think about the past anymore….there’s a reason why these are all happening…maybe….God brought Jiyong back to you for you to get over your issues and bad memories…maybe he’s here to make you realize that love isn’t all about pain….that you’re capable of it….and that you have the right to it as well…Kenken….I know that I can’t bend the thoughts in that juicy brain of yours….but please….even just this once….go out of that freakin dark box and try having a life in the light….after all…what’s done is done….you’re hurt and got traumatized….but years has passed already….there’s no need for you to stay and even give a damn on these things because it already happened…you have dealt with it and survived….all you have to do now is move on and forget it….history may happen again….but you can make it better the second time around….that’s the reason why there are second chances” Bunny is really enlightening me and is making me realize about a lot of things.

To be honest, if you’re going to go inside my heart, you will clearly see and will absolutely say that I’m in-love. Thing is, worry and fear is still dominant. I’m still in the process of weighing myself. I just have to wait till this process is done and maybe then I can already open my heart to him.

“You know what?” Bunny suddenly speaks up after minutes of total silence.

“What?” I asked while busily cleaning the lenses of the camera.

“You may say that you are just friends…but….you really look like a couple…and from the way you move awhile ago…to the way you hug and looked at each other…I can say that friendship has long been forgotten and a complicated relationship has taken over already” Bunny is talking once again.

I know that I moved boldly by hugging him awhile ago, but it’s nothing. I just want to feel at ease and he’s the only one who can make me feel that way and hugging him is the only way for me to feel it.

“Your sticky glares are oh-so new to me and you touch each other differently as well” she looked straight into my eyes but I looked away after a few seconds.

“AHA!” she snapped while pointing at me.

“What the ! Shut it!” I looked around and saw G-dragon and Jang hyun Sajangnim looking at our direction.

Bunny grabbed me by the arm in a swift move then dragged me to the storage room. I don’t know what she’s up to, but I have a feeling that I’m going to be interrogated by her.

I removed her hand away from my arm the moment we entered the room then faced her with a confused expression on my face “What the is up with you?”

She looked at me with narrow eyes “Tell me….did something happened to you and him already?”

This question made me froze in place. I know that I cannot lie to her because out of all the people who know me, she’s the one who I cannot lie to, simply because she knows me from inside out. This woman doesn’t even need to ask how I’m doing because she can easily tell it just by looking at my face.

And because what happened to me and G-dragon is so special, I just decided to keep my mouth shut with the hopes that she will not push me to the brink of spilling everything out.

“What?” she asked impatiently, her eyes are still glued to mine.

“FINE! YES! I’ve already given him the flag of London….he has taken over it already….it was a good ….and if you’re going to ask if I enjoyed it….no….I didn’t enjoy it….coz I FREAKIN LOVED IT!”

Bunny really have powerful eyes that once she looks at you intently, you won’t have a choice but to give in to her.

She just stared at me looking stoned but her face is blank.

“Bubu…I’m going out no