This feels weird. Seriously, I am in a pool of emotions right now and I am floating in good ones. Thing is, my fears are still there and even though I know that they are just stupid fears that are so far to be possible, I still give a damn about them coz it’s not impossible for them to all happen. Like, getting hurt. I know that I’ve already risked a lot, but I can say now that I’ve already risked everything. I’ve given up my whole being to this man who promised to love me and take care of me, FOREVER. If I’m still the same woman that I am before these crazy things happened, I’ll just brush this “Forever” thing off my head and go with whatever I believe and stand on, but I’m different now. I can say that I’m braver when it comes to love and a risk taker, most especially when I chose to date someone who is not as free as I am.

His “Girlfriend” proposal awhile ago is really unexpected. I didn’t see that coming coz all I know is that he’s cool with whatever we have and even though he wanted to have an official relationship, he’s willing to wait till I’m ready but it turns out that he can’t wait a bit longer and have popped the question that I’ve been running away from for months since day one. I don’t know why, but the moment he asked me to be his girl, officially, my mind snapped right away and told me that “Yeah. You should accept him fully now coz it’s time for the two of you to bring things up a notch”, and my heart said “Accept it because he has proven so much to you already and if you’re going to let this slip through your fingers, he may get tired of waiting and stop loving you eventually”. None of us are sure if this is going to work out but I vowed to myself, while looking at the ring that he gave me, that I will push myself in doing everything just to make this relationship work and last. Of course, I know that it’s not always rainbows and butterflies for no relationship are perfect and peaceful. All I’m praying is for God to give us more love to give to each other and never ending happiness.

“Boring” I snapped while bumming in our room.

We just got home from our date and we chose to do different things. Well, in my case, I’m not doing a single thing while he’s so busy playing the newest game that Drake introduced to him. My two wonderful guys are totally addicted to it that they are playing non-stop (G-dragon reacts so loud whenever he’s beaten by Drake and it’s really cute coz he’s even sending him messages saying “You cheated!” then my lovely baby brother will reply “I didn’t! You’re just a weakling”). Seeing them this close is beyond great. They are inseparable now and I can’t ask for anything more from G-dragon coz he’s really making Drake’s life more enjoyable than before. He’s making him experience how it is to be a child and has pulled him out of the girl zone as well.

“Jiyong” I called.

“mmm” he is really into the game that he doesn’t even want to look at me.

“HEY!” I yelled and didn’t get any respond at all.

 A bit pissed, I climb up the bed then snatched the laptop away from him. This is so rude of me but I just want some attention and he will not give it to me at all with this game on.

“YAAAH!” he protested.

I turned it off “There….it’s already off” I showed him the black screen then set the laptop aside.

He sighed “We are in a middle of a war Kenken”

I swear, he sounded like a real warrior who was unexpectedly pulled out from the war. He’s whining like a little kid, which is totally crazy because he’s really sulking just because of a freakin war game.

“What is up with you? Why are you so into that game?” I asked while scanning his beautiful pissed face.

“How can I not get mad? Kenken….you just snatched it away from me when you can actually tell me to stop”

Why do I a feeling that we are going to have our first fight tonight? Isn’t this ironic? I mean, we just started an official relationship hours ago and here we are now, about to fight because of a game. Gosh!

I sighed then crawled closer to him “Jiyong….I’m sorry….I know that it’s really rude…but….you don’t even give a damn on me when I called you and it’s really annoying because you’ve been playing since we got here….and this isn’t what I pictured this night will be” and the truth unleashes.

Well, I know that I’m not romantic at all and I will never be one, but I’m up for it tonight and here he is, so absorbed with something that is not that important at all.

“Aigoo” and now he’s the one feeling sorry.

He moved closer to me then stared at me for I don’t know how long. This is really making me feel so awkward. My cheeks are burning and I know so well that I’m turning red all over.

“What?” I asked after some time.

He smiled sweetly then pulled me to his lap. He’s cradling me like a big baby.

“Sorry” he said with his puppy eyes.

Who will stay mad with those eyes?

“Sorry too….for snatching the laptop from you” I said sounding like the most guilty kid who has reflected about her mistakes already.

He hugged me tightly with his chin resting on my shoulder “This is crazy….don’t you think? We’re near to fighting over a non-sense matter” he said, making me giggle.

“I know right!” I said then intertwined my fingers to his.

Looking at our clasped hands, I can’t help but smile for I’m seeing our “couple” rings that look so chic with its mouse ears. I must admit, I’m not into these couple things at all, but now that I have one, I have realized that it’s not bad at all. Rather, it looks really cool.

“I love this” I said after being silent for some time.

He sighed then kissed my hand “I love you” his lips are so close to my ears that his breath tickled me when he spoke.

I smiled then turned my