Truth Hurts
A FarewellDear Jonghyun,
I still can't believe it. A part of me wish that everything was all a bad dream. I wish that you were still here with your bright smile and beautiful laugh. I can still remember when I came upon the news and I was shocked, speechless. I pray that everything was not true and I feel a part of my heart break. Tell me it was a nightmare, please? Tell me that what I read and saw online was not real and that you are fine. However, the truth hurts and I could not find myself to think of it. I denied it so that I won't feel hurt. But when I saw all those pictures of you...you who was surrounded by flowers...I realized...That you were really gone.
Jonghyunnie, do you know what was one of the things I regret the most? This year you and SHINee did a world tour, and the day you guys did your concert on was my birthday. I really wanted to go, because I fear that I might never get the chance to go see you guys if I didn't. But my parents prevented me from going and I promised myself that I will see you guys next time....but there is no longer a next time..Oppa, I will never be able to see you in person. This wish of mine will never be granted and I regret it so much. Oppa, I have never and will never see you again. Ever again...Oppa, I really regret it. Why did I not grab this chance when a part of me...was tugging at my heart..warning me that if I don't go this time, I will never be able to see you guys...see you ....you are gone...
I have been a shawol for at least 7 years already. SHINee was what got me into kpop. I love listening to your beautiful voice and how talented you were at singing. You cry easily compared to the other members and I found it to be adorable. This side of you only show how passionate you were about everything. Your smile was so bright and I feel so hopeless to think that behind that smile, you were dying inside. I know I am just an ordinary fan and that you may never know who I am. But I wish I could have done something to prevent you...but that's just a selfish thing from my part. When I read your letter, I realize that perhaps it was what you truly wanted. You did well. I'm proud of you Oppa, I really am. You were amazing, an amazing singer and an inspiration to all. You are SHINee's Bling Bling Jonghyun.
You were so young, such a bright future ahead of you. But since you were hurting so much...I guess I will also have to let you go. Jonghyun, please be at peace. Be happy. I want you to know that I love you so much, and that you were a huge part of my life. I'm proud of you, you did well. Everyone is proud of you. I pray for you to have a safe journey. I miss you....I really miss you....
Goodbye Jonghyunnie…
Comments