Dear Jonghyun,

I'm not a SHAWOL first of all to be honest. I'm just a fan. A mere fan that adore some of your works and SHINee. Truth be told, I was stunned hearing you died. I had only ever watched you on TV several times while watching variety shows. You always seems to be smiling. You are always bright.

I really didn't know how to express my sadness over your death. I am not one of your dedicated fan who knows what your fav food is, your fav song or when your birthday is. I am just a passerby if you can say it. But I remember SHINee songs that sticks on my brain and sing along to your voice. Ring Ding Dong was one of my fav! Even tho I like Replay lately. I also heard a song you co with. Depressive Clock. I love it. I remember of those Japanese song that sounds like it. Sadly it was also about death. I read some of your solo lyrics. It seems like my suicidal moments was written there in blank papers of yours. Like you are me. Except I haven't died yet. Months ago I go through a really bad state. I was so low in spirit and I really just want to sleep. Forever if I could. I skip on eating and even interacting with others (if it is often to begin with), I spent dragging myself from a place to another. It's like a limbo. Sometimes I really do not want to go outside and face the world but I have too. I have no heart to do my thesis and I just.. hate my life. There is just no meaning like you ponder on. On the ride to uni, I keep thinking about death or suicide, way to kill myself because I was terribly terribly indifferent to anything. It was like an empty shell. Anything seems to not matter and everything cease to be nothing.

Your lyrics describe all this.

Right now I had quit my university even though I'm in my last semester. I know I should hold on. But I can't. I feel like I'm walking to my death if I continue so I quit. But I haven't quit my life. Yet perhaps. Right now I'm just existing. I haven't find my purpose. Maybe one other day, I might find it.

Your death bring me to tears even though I'm not SHAWOL. It's so weird really. It's just sad. You are one of the people who cheer me up in television. I wish you could be alive just to see how loved you are to everybody in the world. Do you know there is even a girl who try to kill herself because you are no more? It is not a news to burden you but to tell you how much precious you are to her. There is no small amount of tears that every collagues, every friends, every fans, every members, and your family let out when they know you are not here in this world anymore.

Believe us, you are very much loved Jonghyun hyung.

But I also do not wish you to suffer anymore. I do not want you to be alive but suffering. So if you are happy and can be peaceful this way, I will send you with a smile too. Even if I am crying while I do so. Please watch over all of us in focus, your family, friends, fans, and esp the other SHINee members. I am worried about them. They feel guilty about not being besides you enough that you choose to leave. They cry a lot now that even us can see they are cracking. I believe they will take care of your family. But who will take care of them, hyung? They seems so fragile right now. They of course got people to support them but I don't think it will be the same. So please look over them too with your eyes.

Please be happy and be in peace there cause I do not want you to feel anything but pleasure above!

Thank you for your amazing works. They are a masterpiece. I may be a noobs and amateur in music but I love your works.

Thank you for your smiles, laughs, gestures and for cheering me up through your participation in shows. They made my heart light!

Thank you for being a good man, a humble and diligent singer artist that shook K-Pop world with your brothers!

Thank you for being in my memories of childhood and now! You are important enough that you manage stay there and I do not even remember my senior high class teacher name or even my math anymore!

Thank you for being who you are cause I don't think there is anything lacking in it no matter what a hater or ignorant people say! You are you And I LOVE YOU. Till we meet again Hyung!