I am not a shawol but as a person who have mental illness, I was shocked. I never thought that Jonghyun would leave the shawols so soon, even though I am not a fan i still wish that i stan them when he's still alive, it must feel nice to stan a group full of dorks and lovely faces and personality. But too late i couldn't now, Jonghyun help so many people, why didn't we save him? It's like a wave of regrets slapping me back to reality that he was gone, and will never be back. He must've been enduring it for so long, he's very vocal and always shows us that he's struggling to fight depression. Why didn't we notice? I'm thinking, if i ever stan them when jonghyun is still alive will i notice? I guess no, i must admit he did not catch my eye when i first saw him with the other members, but learning that he was a beat person inside and out. I'm asking myself why i didn't stan them? Maybe in that way i will learn that this angel, was suffering from depression. As a human, i have a lot of struggles too, financially and family. I don't get it why some people will say, "it's just a problem with family, you're so shallow. There's a lot of people who have more deeper problems than you." A person who have heart and can understand a situation, would not say that to anyone who's suffering from mental illness, because you don't know what's the whole story, or how did jonghyun kill himself. Or did he really donate his organs when he actually poisoned himself, some may say that but we doesn't know the whole story, so let's just shut up and pray for jonghyun

To jonghyun: You did great Jong oppa, you can finally rest now, just like what you really wanted for so long.