When yesterday I was going to sleep and was thinking about watching a new episode of gagcon I didn't think I would see instead a picture of Minho crying at Jonghyun's funeral. I cried the whole night after reading his letter and Key's farewell letter. Until now I still can't believe it. I been suffering from depression since I was 15 and until now I still struggle with the thought of killing myself. The only thing which kept me alive is K-pop and kdramas. So finding out that one of the people I loved died because of the same thing is much more depressing. He must have felt so lonely and I can't stop thinking if only I would have been there. But my wish of going to the times when he was happy and smiling will never be true. That if will stay an if.

Dépression these days kill many people more than incurable diseases combined. And if only many countries could stop seeing mental illness as a taboo and instead fight against it all these beautiful people who are killing themselves because of it would still be alive. He used to look forward to being 28 and accomplish many things but instead he left us at 27.

Guys, Instead of complaining and expecting more from the idols we love, we should instead send them words of encouragement. And tell them how much you love them instead of participating in useless fan wars which will only give them more stress. Stop acting like jealous girlfriends and harassing them only because they are dating, they won't stay single forever. Even if their are called Gods and angels, inside they are human. And what a human being needs the most is a friend who will listen to them and be there for them. An 'I love you Oppa/unni and please take care of yourself ' is not hard to say.

Jonghyun Oppa, I'm not a big fan of Shinee but I love your songs and especially your beautiful voice. When I was feeling down you made me smile and when I was trapped in the darkness you gave me light so that I won't lose my way. Even now that you're a star you keep shining brighter so that my world will be bright. Don't worry I'll be fine because you taught me how to be strong. Although you left early, you left us with many great things you have accomplished here on earth. Please watch over me, I'll make you proud by helping others like you helped me.
Heaven is better than Earth. Hope you're happier up there Angel.

Please watch over us. You will always be in our heart.