Dear Jonghyun,

I have always been mesmerized by your voice; how soothing it sounded, how comforting it sounded and how calming it was. I always knew you were a righteous and kind soul. You helped advocate for issues in Korea that nobody else would. You were a feminist. You were an LGBT ally. You were suffering but you still chose to lend a helping hand to others who were suffering. You knew mental illness was a forbidden issue in Korea yet you chose to advocate and comfort those around you that were suffering while you were suffering as well.

Reading your letter made me realize how depression can affect a person and what it felt like to be depressed. Every single sentence in your letter made me think. Every sentence was justified and relatable. You were right when you said the reason for living was because of other people. You were right when you said the reason for living was just because. When we ask why we live, the answer we get is "just because or its human nature." I understand your struggles and you understood them as well. I wished there were better doctors in Korea to help you. I wished there were doctors that helped you to convert your pain to happiness. I cried for three nights thinking of you and thinking what could have happened. In the end, the tears must stop and I had to accept the truth. It's hard to think of you and not feel down; I can't imagine how it must feel for other fans who have known you longer or for your friends and family that interacted with you.

There is no doubt in anyone's mind that you were a great person, great singer and a righteous soul. You really did well. You helped to comfort those when they had no one. You were an idol that was respected and deserved everything in the world. You did well. Perhaps you were right; you were not meant to live life as an idol. However, if you didn't become an idol, how would we have the opportunity to listen to your beautiful songs. The pain must have been terrible to endure and nobody can understand this pain except for you. Perhaps it was better that you chose to end your life as you did. In the end, it was your life and you had every right to choose to end it the way you wanted to. I just wished you were able to wait it out and see what else God had for you in store. They said that you made the moon aqua to let us know you're doing fine. I really hope so. I really hope you are living your life up there and everything was just like you imagined. I wish that the suffering would end and you would be happy up there. In another life, I wish you were just a normal citizen and not an idol; so you can live the life you wanted.

It's time to say goodbye Jonghyun. I'll try not to cry for you but embrace and look back on the memories we've had. I tried really hard to buy your album but luck was not on my side. You did well Jonghyun. I hope to see you up there when it’s my time as well.

Goodbye Jonghyun.