(W) Even Though We Lived On Different Sides of the Planet

A Farewell

Dear Jonghyun 
When I first heard the news I didn't know what to think. My sister told me around 8am the day after it happened. We lived on different sides of the planet so when you were preparing for the end, I was sleeping happily in my bed and I can't tell you how sorry I feel. I know it was something I had no control over, but I can't help feeling awful when I think about it. You were in so much pain yet you smiled. You were suffering and yet you just wanted to make others happy. Thinking back on it now, there were so many signs. In your songs, the way you spoke sometimes and even in your book you talked about a boy with severe depression and everyone just overlooked it. Myself included. You did what you thought you had to do to end the pain to end your suffering. It's not your fault it's your demons. I know what they can do to you. My demons have been louder the past couple months they make you feel worthless, like nothing matters anymore, they make you believe everything would be better with you gone. I also know how hard it is to tell those closest to you. In fact this is the first time I've ever voiced how I feel. What I write here not even my family or friends know. Recently, I just feel as if I'm fading away. I can't sleep at night unless I tire myself so much that my body just cant take it anymore. I've tried sleeping pills but they don't work for me. I can't tell anyone bc I'd feel like a burden and I just wonder is this what you felt. When I read the letter you had your friend release it didn't feel all that foreign to me. You feel alone. They're could be a sea of people and yet it's like it's just you. Nothing you do is good enough and no one ever asks if your really okay. You smile and they think everything is okay so you just keep smiling until you can't anymore. I understand how you felt and I'm sorry you had to suffer for so long. I hope now your happy and in a better place with no worries and I pray your inner demons are finally silent. You've given me the strength to start fighting mine and I'm so sorry you lost to yours. Please be happy from now on wherever you may be. You are truly an angel now. We all love you and thank you for all that you did.
You worked hard Kim Jonghyun. 
Now Rest In Peace Angel you did well. 
Goodbye.

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AIMRWV
Trying to advertise this for the 18th but someone else is bidding really hard so I am running out of karma (already bought more for over 30dollars) so if you have some spare you are willing to donate, I would be really thankful.

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Redofthedawn
#1
I'm aware that it isn't December but I just thought of this post. December will never be easy for a lot of us. I'm more aware of my depression around that time. I just became an adult and the realization that a lot can change has finally hit me. I'm not sure how to feel. People within my family have died or are dying and it seems like the only thing I'm allowed to do is move on. I'm no longer given the luxury of grieving the way I had with Jonghyun. There are so many fond memories that I can go back to with Jjong but for them I only have memories. So much has happened these past few years and while I'm not completely okay I can say there's plenty of room where I've healed.

As year 6 approaches I want my fellow Shawols to know that healing is hardly a linear task. It's okay to not be ready but where you are there's always going to be SHINee.

And Dear Author thank you for keeping this space for all of us.
luv_kero
2444 streak #2
Thank you for keeping this space for us for so many years <3 This milestone hit me a lot harder than expected, but seeing this brought so much comfort. Miss you to the moon and back, Jonghyun <3
Viola_Ella #3
Chapter 818: When I saw in newfeed I just realised today is the day. He is a sweet,kind and precious soul. I miss him.
Evelyn_64
#4
It’s been five years today and just a few days ago I turned 27, the age Jonghyun-ah was when we had to say goodbye to him. I have long since had to “become an adult” and learn what growing up means; yet every year I come back to this little space, and read some of the messages that people wrote for him, and think back to the letter I wrote at 22 and never shared with anyone. I think back to a memory of me looking at the full moon and talking to him for hours, telling him I missed him terribly. We still miss you, friend. I still remember you fondly. I still remember me at 17 dancing to Replay in my room. I’ll always cherish those memories of our Spring.



Author, I hope you have been doing well. Thank you so much for keeping this space running for so long, it brings comfort to some more than you’ll ever know.
OdetteSwan
930 streak #5
I'm so glad you won the bid. I will start collecting karma points again.
Good work.
OdetteSwan
930 streak #6
Chapter 818: I just really paid attention to SHINee this August. Yet, when Jonghyun passed away four years ago, I felt sad that another beautiful and caring person chose to leave this place. In fact, I didn't want to listen to any SHINee songs then.
Now, watching SHINee's MVs, I feel like I have accepted what happened and hope that he is really happy now.
Redofthedawn
#7
Time keeps moving on and I wonder why I can't just go back and fix things to when it was so peaceful. So much has happened in the last four years and it feels as though there's only SHINee left to comfort me. Jonghyun for so long I've written my letters to you and I couldn't this year because I couldn't find the strength or will to when I was feeling down. I haven't cried this much since I was a baby. I promised last year that I would tread the new year with caution and that didn't work out so great. There's more I wanna say but I just wish you knew how much I love you. Thank you for being born and sharing your light with the world. Sincerely I love you. 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❤️
lovelyfeisty
#8
It’s been 4 years now and so it’s hard to believe that you left us, but I still do remember you as SHINee’s Blingbling Angel and as the brightest star that shines in the sky.

I used to feel so lonely after knowing that you left us, that I was listening to Lonely everyday for about a year, but now I just remind myself that you’re still with us, as the bright shining star watching over us from the night sky. ❤️
I will always love you.
wonpokemon
#9
i was InMemoryOfJonghyun!
just thought i'll let you know so you don't add this username again~ =]
anyways, good luck with the add and for all those who come here and are thinking of Jjong and of others and themselves.
aseulmonsta
#10
❤️