Dear Jonghyun,

It's been a couple days since everything happened and now you've finally been laid to rest.

You won't have to suffer anymore and you'll continue to be loved forever and ever. You'll also be greatly missed: by your family, by your fellow SHINee members, by your friends, by the millions of Shawols who loved you, and by everybody who knew your name. Like countless others, I was one of those people whose first kpop group was SHINee, which was what got me into kpop in the first place. I didn't have a bias back then in eighth grade -- I didn't even know what that was or that such a concept existed -- but you stood out to me alongside your members. "LUCIFER" and "Ring Ding Dong" were the two songs that I jammed out to all the time because they were always on repeat on my phone. All five of you were iconic (you still are!) and I remember, back as a 13- and 14-year-old, thinking that I was going to travel to Korea to see you in concert alongside your members. That never happened, as you could probably guess.

I fell out of kpop somewhere at the end of my freshman year or during my sophomore year and didn't get back into it until a friend -- the same friend who introduced me to SHINee and to you -- introduced me to BTS at the end of my senior year of high school, back in 2015. This isn't going to become about BTS, I promise. I just want to say that I always respected and admired you even though I had basically devoted myself to the BTS fandom when I got back into kpop, mainly because, even though I wasn't following you, I knew that you were still doing good in the world and making loads of people happy with your music and with everything else you were doing.

I'm so sorry for how horrible you felt in your final moments, that you didn't think you could go on any longer and that you decided it was time to move on. I'm so sorry that the doctor you were seeing for treatment made you feel worse than before, that he made you feel insignificant. That's far from the truth. I'm so sorry that you felt that you weren't loved enough, that your depression destroyed you because of that stupid doctor and I'm so sorry that you didn't get the care, love, and assistance you deserved more than anything in the world right when you needed it the most. If you had, maybe you'd still be here.

You were and always will be important, Jonghyun. You're a shining light in this dark world and that hasn't changed just because you're not physically present among us anymore.

The only other time I've ever cried so much about the death of an idol, of a well-known celebrity, especially of one that I had followed/listened to pretty frequently, was when Christina Grimmie was murdered back in the summer of 2016. When she died, I remember, along with missing her more than I can describe and wishing that she hadn't been killed, desperately hoping that there wouldn't be anymore awful deaths and that maybe everything would somehow sort itself out but the world seems to be trapped in a spiral of never-ending high chaos because now you're gone, too. I wish you were still here, though. I'm going to miss you as much as I still miss Christina and I'll never stop missing you. Everybody who knew you will never stop missing you, either, but I guess that's a good thing because we'll all follow through on our promise to never ever forget you.

I know that death can never be seen as a positive thing but I hope, like the impact you had on everybody while you were alive, that your death comes to mean something good for the world. I know that we'd all rather have you here with us but fate has already been decided and there's no going back into the past to try and change things. Still, I hope that your death brings reform to mental health in Korea so that the needs of people suffering from mental illness are better met and that the stigma behind depression -- that it's "all in your head" when there's so many other, real factors involved -- is destroyed once and for all. In the future, I hope that professionals are properly trained to actually help their patients and not send them to an early grave just because they don't give a damn or are hanging on to preconceived myths about mental illness rather than sticking to facts. As much as I wish this never happened, I hope that your death is the first and the last to occur in the kpop industry, so that nothing like this ever happens to anybody else, and that I hope your name helps to spread awareness about mental illness so that things change for the better for everyone involved.

I think that's all I have for you. The world will never be the same now that you're not here anymore but I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you're feeling happy, wherever you are. I hope you've found peace, Jonghyun, and that your suffering has ended. I hope that Christina Grimmie was the first one to welcome you and that you're now singing ballads with all of the legends.

I also hope that your family finds peace as a result of your passing. Your parents and your sister love you and they miss you more than words can describe. I hope that, one day when it's time, you get to reunite with them once more. Until then, watch over them and keep them safe and let them know from time to time that you're still around.

You've done exceptionally well. Rest easy, Jonghyun.