I can't breathe. I'm breaking down right now at my room after hours of holding back the urge to cry. Until now, i can't believe that someone so precious has passed. He was part of my childhood and I can't imagine losing him too soon..
Yeah.. i may not been a hardcore fan of your group but you were such an angel that i can't help but notice you shining in a big crowd of known idols. You gave me such a deep impression as you perform and act around in variety shows. You've surprised me in your solo career and i thought that you're really a precious gem.
But you never deserved to feel so miserable.. you never deserved to feel alone in this world- that in the end you thought that it's the best day to die. I hate your demons, i hate your sadness that has swallowed you. I hate everything that has made you devastated. I wish i was with you through those times that you needed someone to talk with..
I feel regret seeping inside of me. I regret the years that i have spent my energy on and i deeply regret not cherishing the times that you are still here. I've always thought that you'll just be there.. but I was wrong. I just knew what it felt like to have the urgency to make someone feel special as much as possible while they're alive. I wish i saw you shine bright while you were working hard.
Jonghyun ah, you might not know me but i care. People might think it's odd for a person to cry for someone who has no idea that he/she exists. But they are wrong. You knew every bits of us that's why you were always so thankful.
I wish God gave you another chance.. because everyone knows that you deserve it. But sadly, you gave up but i don't blame you. The world and you're peaceful now.
Thank you for everything you've done to us. I wish you'd hear every genuine word
that's coming out of our mouth right now. I wish you'd always be happy.. wherever you are.
We love you so much, Jonghyun ah. You've worked hard and you did so well. Keep shining bright in the skies.. and we'll always look up at you.
Trying to advertise this for the 18th but someone else is bidding really hard so I am running out of karma (already bought more for over 30dollars) so if you have some spare you are willing to donate, I would be really thankful.
I'm aware that it isn't December but I just thought of this post. December will never be easy for a lot of us. I'm more aware of my depression around that time. I just became an adult and the realization that a lot can change has finally hit me. I'm not sure how to feel. People within my family have died or are dying and it seems like the only thing I'm allowed to do is move on. I'm no longer given the luxury of grieving the way I had with Jonghyun. There are so many fond memories that I can go back to with Jjong but for them I only have memories. So much has happened these past few years and while I'm not completely okay I can say there's plenty of room where I've healed.
As year 6 approaches I want my fellow Shawols to know that healing is hardly a linear task. It's okay to not be ready but where you are there's always going to be SHINee.
And Dear Author thank you for keeping this space for all of us.
Thank you for keeping this space for us for so many years <3 This milestone hit me a lot harder than expected, but seeing this brought so much comfort. Miss you to the moon and back, Jonghyun <3
It’s been five years today and just a few days ago I turned 27, the age Jonghyun-ah was when we had to say goodbye to him. I have long since had to “become an adult” and learn what growing up means; yet every year I come back to this little space, and read some of the messages that people wrote for him, and think back to the letter I wrote at 22 and never shared with anyone. I think back to a memory of me looking at the full moon and talking to him for hours, telling him I missed him terribly. We still miss you, friend. I still remember you fondly. I still remember me at 17 dancing to Replay in my room. I’ll always cherish those memories of our Spring.
Author, I hope you have been doing well. Thank you so much for keeping this space running for so long, it brings comfort to some more than you’ll ever know.
Chapter 818: I just really paid attention to SHINee this August. Yet, when Jonghyun passed away four years ago, I felt sad that another beautiful and caring person chose to leave this place. In fact, I didn't want to listen to any SHINee songs then.
Now, watching SHINee's MVs, I feel like I have accepted what happened and hope that he is really happy now.
Time keeps moving on and I wonder why I can't just go back and fix things to when it was so peaceful. So much has happened in the last four years and it feels as though there's only SHINee left to comfort me. Jonghyun for so long I've written my letters to you and I couldn't this year because I couldn't find the strength or will to when I was feeling down. I haven't cried this much since I was a baby. I promised last year that I would tread the new year with caution and that didn't work out so great. There's more I wanna say but I just wish you knew how much I love you. Thank you for being born and sharing your light with the world. Sincerely I love you. 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❤️
It’s been 4 years now and so it’s hard to believe that you left us, but I still do remember you as SHINee’s Blingbling Angel and as the brightest star that shines in the sky.
I used to feel so lonely after knowing that you left us, that I was listening to Lonely everyday for about a year, but now I just remind myself that you’re still with us, as the bright shining star watching over us from the night sky. ❤️
I will always love you.
i was InMemoryOfJonghyun!
just thought i'll let you know so you don't add this username again~ =]
anyways, good luck with the add and for all those who come here and are thinking of Jjong and of others and themselves.
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