I Was Envious Of You
A FarewellDear Jonghyun
Just a week ago I was cursing you for being too dam talented for your own good, your adlibs too complicated and your voice too perfect to replicate.
I was envious of you. I even thought to myself, if I could be anyone, I'd want to be Jonghyun, the man who is living my dream with his angelic voice.
I was listening to your songs just yesterday, some for the first time, because I hadn't gotten round to hearing them yet in my 7 months as a shawol, to choose something to sing for the world kpop festival. If I couldn't be you, I could at least do a cover of one of your amazing songs.
Now I curse myself for not being able to do anything for you.
I saw your pain. Even before I knew you were depressed, I felt it, I even wrote a story reflecting that kind of view of yourself, not realizing till later how close I was to the real thing. (don't think I will ever be able to bring myself to publish it now)
I saw how tired you were after that last concert, I wanted to give you a hug, tell you what an amazing job you did, how beautifully you sang, how your music is amazing.
But I live on the other side of the world, unable to say or do anything for you.
If only I could have done something, maybe things would be different.
You will always be treasured and missed our angel.
May your beautiful voice echo wherever you may be, may you always smile and never have a care or worry.
We Love you and miss you so
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