This Fear I Have Never Felt Before
A FarewellIt breaks my heart knowing something could have been done to save you.
What if this had happened or this keeps playing in my mind. I have never really lost someone that made such an impact, death so close to me wasn't something I knew but when I heard of your death I felt this fear like I have never felt before.
And then it became numb, empty hollow feeling. I didn't know what to do, who to turn to. 5 years, I counted on hearing you sing, seeing your face, and one day watching you live with my friends. But I see non of that will happen now, and I'm forced to accept it. I know it's selfish but I wish I could go back a week, a month a day even before all of this happened.
What breaks my heart even more if how much pain you carried, for the sake of your fans, family and friends you stood strong and fought. I wish I knew you personally, I wish I was close by, I wish I could have helped you...even a little. I'm sorry this happened. I send my condolences to the family, friends and members, staff and Shawols. everyone you have ever imprinted your angelic smile on.
I love you, now and forever. May god bless you wherever you are. You may have felt like you were nothing but Jonghyun, our star you made the biggest impression on this world and everyone.
You were beautiful and did not deserve this.
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