Despite All
A FarewellI don't feel like I should say a lot on this matter because I wasn't a Shawol, although I did enjoy Shinee's music and laughed every time they were in a variety show I watched. Jonghyun's recent passing has hit me hard, however. It didn't matter if I was a fan or not, if I didn't always listen to his music, or watch any clips of his concerts. Despite all, I understood why he did what he did, and although our lives are completely different, I could relate to his pain. I still relate and understand, as I have for years now.
My loved ones are the reason I still exist, even though I desperately want to disappear. I can only imagine how much guilt and anguish he felt every time he faced his friends and family. Although, I don't agree with the way he ended things, I don't blame him. I can only foolishly come up with fruitless fantasies of someone, anyone, telling him that he was not alone - giving him a reason to fight off those nagging demons whispering endlessly in his ear. Looking back on the photos of Jonghyun, my heart aches, because never in my life have I ever seen such beautiful and bright eyes. They were so bright that not even his fans, friends, and family could have noticed his sorrow. Hopefully, every one who is embracing this tragic moment won't blame themselves. Please don't blame yourselves. You've worked hard, Kim Jonghyun. You did well. Now, rest. You deserve it.
Comments