Have you ever been in love with someone to the point where you have no idea the reason why you fall for that person in the first place? Have you ever fallen for someone so hard that it makes you unable to forget that person even after breaking up? Have you ever love someone so much that makes it difficult to admit that you’ve gotten over that person even though you still have not moved on? Have you ever had a stupid crush to someone unexpected that blooms into love later on, but you just won’t admit it? Have you ever love someone without even looking at the person’s face first? Have you ever someone that makes you accept their weakness and embrace their strength as if it’s your own?

It’s true what people say about love regardless of their different ways in portraying it. Love can be considered as subjective—there’s variety of answers that comes up when you look for the meaning of love.

“I love you.”

He only needed three simple words to steal her heart away from other people. That three simple words that might not have the same impact if other people say it to her. It’s kind of hard to explain. This might sound a little silly to admit… Despite the fact that there are a lot of male celebrities and non-celebrities that confessed their love to her, he’s the only one brave enough to admit it to her—face to face.

“I… Honestly, I don’t know what to say.” She stared at him with her round doe-eyes making him flustered for a moment.

“It’s okay, Yoona. I know this is unexpected coming from an oppa like me. But, I truly take your time to think about it.” Yoona felt guilty for making him feel that way. She took a moment to breathe in and out to calm herself.

“Ryeowook-oppa, there’s no need to feel that way. Let’s forget who we are for a moment and say the things you want me to think about.” Yoona realized that she’s not the older one in this situation. However, after she considered the comfortable air of nervousness coming from the man standing in front of him in his casual clothes, it only made her take on the calm role in this situation. She’s a little worried he might perceived that she’s used to this kind of situation. This is a first for her—a confession coming from a man.

“I apologize for wasting your time. All I ever wanted to ask from you is… Will you agree to go out with me and be my girlfriend? It’s not like two idols going out with one another. Give me a chance to give you the kind of love that comes from a man that loves you so much. I want to go out with you as a normal couple. I’ll accept whatever your replies going to be…”

Ryeowoook hung his head low, looking down while getting ready to accept her rejection. He only wanted to let her know how he feels before he regret knowing that she might have learned about it from someone else. He had always wanted to be manly enough to be able to do this. His group members might not believe it—He finally succeed in gathering his courage to tell her his feelings honestly. He realized his condition right now might not appeal to her—the fact that he is wearing a casual clothing and the two of them are in the practice room did not give him any hope. He prepared nothing to make it look special.

“You… didn’t waste my time… I don’t mind…”

Yoona’s hazy answer confused him. He looked at her straight in the eyes—giving him butterflies all over.

“What do you mean, Yoona? I don’t mind if you want to reject me or anything. Just don’t give me a vague answer.”

“I’m saying that… I want to try it out… I agree to be your girlfriend.” Yoona smiled shyly while looking away from Ryeowook.

“Are you sure, Yoona? With someone like me…?”

Yoona nodded shortly after Ryeowook finished his sentence. With a bright smile, Ryeowook thanked Yoona with all his heart. He promised her that he will do his best to give her the kind of love she needs.

“I promise that I will always make you happy. I will always be the one by your side whether you need me or not. I love you, Yoona.” Ryeowook muttered softly as he kissed her beautiful forehead, sending her fluttery butterflies kind of feelings all over. That moment—the moment when Yoona fall for Ryeowook and both of them did not notice a single clue about it.

He stared at her from afar. This secret relationship slowly killing him from inside out. He wanted to hold her more than anything else in the world. He wanted to take her on dates, but he got no chance of doing so. Their group schedules never let them be with each other. He hardly gets to spend time with her except at the company area. He was not allowed to go to her dorm nor did she was allowed to go to his dorm. Both of them were too busy to even spend intimate time together. He’s feeling insecure and so did she. He’s feeling jealous whenever he saw her with other men. She felt the same way whenever he saw him getting close with other women. They’ve been trying hard to keep this relationship together. Phone calls, video calls, messages, short meet-up—nothing seems enough. Their dates weren't like other couple ways of date. They couldn’t date at open places—for they are afraid if paparazzi ever caught them in the act. They couldn’t be honest by saying that they are going out to their group members.

By the time he finally feels like giving up, Yoona had completely given her heart to him. By the time he felt like forgetting his love to her, her love finally blooms perfectly for him. It took him some time to make her fall for him the same way he fall for her. However, he did not know that. All he know, she’s not in love with him as much as he loves her. She’s probably just go with the flow wherever their relationship will take them.

Unaware of her feelings blooming for him each day, he finally decided to break up with her. The reason? There’s no reason—it’s like how he fall for her without any reason why, he did not know the reason why he wanted to break up with her. He called her asking to meet her one day. She hoped that she could finally tell her feelings to him after she was sure of it. He, on the other hand, was thinking of ending this relationship.

Which one hurt more?

The one asking for a break from the current relationship—

“Let’s break up. I don’t think this can go on any longer.”

--or the one getting the request for a breakup.

“What do you mean by that, oppa?”

It does not matter which side hurts the most, the person initiating the breakup or getting the request to break up. Both side will feel similar damage if they truly love each other. It’s not like—if one side did not love the other one, the break-up will be less painful or the pain will not be felt. Both sides will still experience the pain regardless which position they are in. One side will be wondering whether they did make the right decision after thinking it through. Whereas, the other side will keep on wondering their faults—which part did they screwed up, which behaviour did they initiated that cause the break-ups, which point did their feelings change? The hurt and pain they feel might differ for both side, but surely, both of them will feel the hurt.

This time, as the one initiating for a break up, Ryeowook feel the burden out of guilty—or was it regret? The scenario he imagined earlier keeps on playing in his mind as he walks straight up to his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend, Im Yoona.

“Yoona, did I keep you waiting?”

Ryeowook tries to maintain his composure as best as he could, so he can carry out what he had planned for, smoothly.

“No, I’ve just finished with practice.” Yoona answers sweetly with a smile on her face. Her eyes filled with love and infatuation only makes it harder for him to carry on. Her soothing smile that will always bring his mood up whenever his days were gloomy. She was his sunshine, his rainbow, the cure to his sickness—this is corny, but it’s the truth. She was his everything—she still is…

“I have something to talk to you about—” He pauses for a moment to glance around the practice room—the place where they would always meet whenever they want to see each other. Precisely, they hardly have time and privacy to date somewhere else. Their groups are famous in their own respective ways. Super Junior and Girls’ Generation, two famous top group that finally got the recognition they deserved.

“Oppa…”

He tries to control himself from overreacting. It is an undeniable fact that he missed her so much, her voice, her laughter, her childish antics, her annoying aegyo, her pranks—he miss everything about her. He regains his composure after he takes a short moment to breathe in and out.

“What is it, Yoona?” He tries his best to sound as normal as he can. He is being careful of the eyes around them in the company. There’s just too many risk if he behaves the same way when they are still…together.

“Did something happen to you?” Yoona ask out of concern whether she asks him as a co-worker or something more.

‘Is it bad for me to hope for something else?’ He brushes off his thoughts and keep it inside him. He do not want to cause any misunderstanding between them. It took the two of them years to repair their relationship from a broken one to a normal friendship.

“Nothing, I’m just feeling a little worn-out. I’m sure you know how that feels, right?”

Ryeowook tries his best to keep their conversation as normal as possible. He did not want to ruin his true objective of meeting her. He gathered his courage once again and said the things he had held it in since the moment he saw her face just now.

“Yoona… Let’s break up…”

Yoona felt like her heart shattered the moment she heard all the three hurtful words coming out of his mouth. She did not expect this. She was expecting he would talk about something else rather than bringing up this forbidden topic.

“—but, why?”

She asked, her voice sounded a bit shaky, she cannot shake away the feelings of nervousness and getting her heart torn apart right now.  She was hoping he could shake it off as a joke. However, his responds was something she did not even want to hear.

“I’m tired…”

Was it hard loving her? Was it tiring to be with her? Her mind was filled with all kinds of thoughts.

“What do you mean? I don’t understand. Is there any reason you are doing this?”

Ryeowook, on the other hand, wanted to end this smoothly, hoping that she would agree with it right after he asked her about it. He had always felt like Yoona did not feel anything for him. All his efforts in winning her heart turned to dust when he felt nothing but pity coming from her. Pity? That’s better than something. She probably feel bad for him. Yeah, that’s the only reason that makes her accept him from the beginning. That’s what he thought.

“No reason. I don’t need a reason to end this. I’m tired, Yoona…”

Yoona could not believe what she heard just now. Did she wore him out? Did she do anything wrong?

“There must be a reason why! Or was it because you don’t love me anymore?”

He could see tears forming around her eyes. He swore he felt like holding her, hugging her and telling her that everything will be fine. He just can’t…

“It’s not because of that. I don’t know if you know this or not—I’ve been in love with you even before I told you about it. I’ve been in love with you even before you become girly. I’ve been in love with you even when you are still tomboyish and plays around a lot. I love you a lot.”

Ryeowook managed to stop before he told her everything. He did not want to stray away from his objective. He took another deep breathe before listening closely to what she’s going to say.

“Then, if you truly love me… Tell me the reason why you suddenly bring this up?” Yoona could no longer control herself. She burst into tears right in front of him.

Ryeowook hold both of his hands tightly into fist. He succeeded from trying to hold her. He wanted to wipe away her tears, but he’s no longer hold the privilege to do all the things to Yoona. He hold his tears back from falling right in front of her.

“Honestly… I don’t even know how to love you anymore… I don’t want to make you suffer with me.”

Ryeowook leave out the last part, knowing that it might make her feel pity towards him. He didn’t want any more pity from her. He love her too much to the point where he don’t know how to show his love towards her. He don’t even know how to appreciate her anymore. He’s unsure of his future with his group member leaving their group, controversy happening to his groups one after another. Their company suffered more than enough in dealing with their idols problems. They got their hands full. All of them got enough on their plates. Moreover, it’s true when he said that he don’t know how to love her anymore. He tried everything in order to make her love him. He tried the best he could, just to make their relationship work out.

“Oppa… Why?”

Yoona don’t even know what else to ask Ryeowook. She stood there, crying hard while looking at him full of hope. She hoped that he would still be joking and hugged her later on. However, Ryeowook words hurt her heart even more.

“Thank you for everything, Yoona. Thank you for even trying even though you don’t love me. I…love you… Yoona…” Ryeowook could feel his tears might coming out any moment now. He did not want to be seen crying right in front of her.

“Oppa… I love you… I truly love you. Don’t leave me…”

Yoona hold Ryeowook thin wrist with both of her hands, trying to hold him back.

“No, Yoona… Don’t say it at the spur of the moment. Don’t say it out of pity…”

Ryeowook is indeed a man when he managed to release Yoona’s strong grasp on his wrist.

“Oppa… I’m honestly—”

“I’m sorry, Yoona…”

Ryeowook softly kissed her forehead for the last time. That soft touch that usually gives her the feeling of love and made her smile shyly. This time, that soft kiss only made her cry harder. Yoona fall on her knees, crying hard as Ryeowook shadows disappeared leaving no trace.

After that day, both of them decided to focus on their career while keeping their heart away from all the love coming for them especially Yoona. Despite the fact that other guys tries to pursue her, she close her heart away from all of them. They try to be as professional as possible whenever their schedule clash with one another. They did not even talk privately. Deep down, Ryeowook still love Yoona the same way he love her from the beginning. He never open the door to his heart to someone else. Neither Yoona nor Ryeowook talk about the things happening to them back then to other people.

Years passes by, the two of them are older now. They have finally resolve everything without talking about the past and patched things up. Yoona and Ryeowook decided to become best friends. It’s more than enough for both of them. A relationship with nothing that can hurt them.

Ryeowook smiles brightly the moment he sees the light brunette girl running towards him. In her hands, she’s holding some sort of envelope. Ryeowook feels like she’s going to tell him the things he heard from his group members.

“Oppa… I’m getting married…”

That’s it. He finally confirmed the rumours going around in their circle of friends. He smiles warmly and pat her head gently.

“Good for you… So, when?”

Yoona beam with happiness as she hands him her wedding card.

“It’s next month. Make sure you will come! I want you to sing on my wedding day. Clear your schedule, okay! I got to go. I need to pass this around to the others.” Yoona smiles and bow politely to Ryeowook. Her habit that she never get rid of even though she’s no longer his hoobae in the company. Their contract ended and each of them go after their own dreams now.

“I will. I definitely sing for the woman I love… Be happy, Yoona… I love you…”

It hurts him. He still loves her, probably love her even more each passing day. But, he knows deep down he deserve not even a single place in heart to make her happy. He holds no power to make her smile. The guy she’s marrying will be the best husband in his eyes. He’s a much better guy than him.

Author’s Note:

Hey, did I made you wait so long? I’ve rewrote this story many times, most of it unable to get over page 1. However, after I got the idea an hour ago. I’ve finally managed to write everything out. Thank you kimryeowookimyoona  for requesting a YoonWook with this kind of prompt. Your prompt breaks my heart a little bit. But, I’m sure they will find happiness they seek. Thank you for being patient. By the way, my beloved readers, I’m going back to college this Sept. So, I might not be able to update as fast as before. I’ll try my best to update after this. Anyway, please leave comments! I need all of your opinion for this story.

P.S: Don’t forget to give love to my other stories too! <3

Till then, MyDanbo :)