TaoYoon : Dear Diary...

1^st December 2011

She came again… She gives us that warm encouragement where we cannot even buy anywhere else. She always makes me feel like I fit in although we don’t really converse well. I don’t know Korean language well. But, I’m amazed by how she is able to wait for me till I finish speaking. When I blurt out anything weird, the hyungs and maknae laugh at me. But, instead of laughing at me… She just ruffles my hair softly and say that I can speak Korean well one day. I don’t even know why… But, I like it when she give her attention to me. Later, she left after giving encouragement to all twelve of us. Thank you…

2^nd May 2012

This is definitely the most memorable day to me. I cannot stop myself from smiling as I hear her voice over the phone. It was late. But, she called me despite her tiredness. She sings me a song happily as I feel my tears fell. I thanked her. She asks me what did I wishes for. I did not tell her my real wish as I just ramble on my other wishes. How grateful I feel when she listens attentively to every word I’m saying… How can she be that patient? My Korean is not really that good. But, she’s willing to give her resting time to listen to me. We bid each other good night after that. The next day, the hyungs said I got a present from Korea. I thought it was from the Korean members. But, then again when I open the present, I could tell that she’s the one who sends the presents. She gave me a panda long pajama, a panda hat, a panda sweater and also a big panda bear. Thank you J

30^th May 2012

It’s her birthday… I am so happy when I manage to get through the call. She pick up with a cheerful voice. I take a deep breath before I sing the birthday song to her in Chinese. She thanked me in return. She even promised that she will hang out with me whenever she had a chance. I can’t wait to go back to Korea~ I promised her that I will support her drama. She thanked me again. As I was about to continue talking, I could hear silent over her side. She’s sleeping already, I think?

Sleep well~

1^st December 2012

I cannot forget how it has been this past few days. I always receive a warm smile from her. Yeah, the warmest smile of all. She always gives it to me without expecting anything in return. But, I become greedy for I want more of that. I want more of her smile. No! To be exact, I want her smile to only be mine. Please just smile for me, Im Yoona…

Ah~

1^st January 2013

Her group makes a comeback. We talked all night about it. She feels relieve with the positive reaction of their different concept this time. I think that she truly shines when she rap. I don’t know why. But, I wish I could collaborate with her one day. Is that even possible? As the phone call nearing the end, I could tell she’s tired, so I told her to sleep first. After she ended up the phone call, one thing plays on my mind…

‘Will she like me the way I like her?’

I feel like a fool now. I decided to shrug it off and get back to sleep.

2^nd May 2013

It’s my birthday again. This time, she came to our dorm while dressing up herself as a panda while singing birthday song to me. She showed a panda cake to me. Her group members just laugh as they pointed at my blushing face. They tease me all day about it. As I blew the candles, I look at her one last time before making my wish for that year. She put the cake down and I cute the cake. She smiles again after I fed her with the cake. I put some cream on her face as she laugh like an alligator. Her laughter feels like music to my ears. We feed each other with the members teasing and watching over us. Thank you… For making this birthday of mine to be so memorable…

30^th May 2013

It’s her birthday… I can’t wait to show her the surprise that I’ve prepared. But, I feels sad. The moment I entered the practice room where I called her… I saw her with Yifan hyung… He smiles happily as he serenades her birthday song. She cried happily in his hug. Softly, hyung kisses her forehead as he wishes her happy birthday… I don’t know why… But, my heart feel like it is being torn to pieces… I should be happy, shouldn’t I? Kris hyung got her already. I should be happy… But, why? Why do I feel so sad? Sadly, I walk away with the melted cake and throw away the cake in a dustbin somewhere while locking myself in the room for that day.

1^st December 2013

She called me… I feel bad for not returning her call these past few months. It’s because I feel like I should distant myself from her. I could see how the hyungs face glitter up whenever she’s around. Maybe, she prefers someone else over me. I couldn’t even speak Korean well. I look like a fool sometimes. I look horrible without my make up on. I ended the phone call coldly. I could feel my tears streaming down my cheek. I let myself fall on the hard practice room floor. As I hug my knees closer to myself, I keep on telling myself that I’m okay. However, I deep down I know I’m not.

‘Why must I fall for you, Im Yoona?’

2^nd May 2014

This year it feels different. Why? There’s no phone call from her… There’s not even a single message from her. I wish I could tell her my feelings… How I’ve loved her ever since I first seen her? But, how can I? She is now happily in love with a good man. Indeed, Lee Seung Gi is a good man in my eyes. Seung Gi hyung has been loved or even liking her since years ago. He sticks to her as his ideal type for years. He openly said that he like her. It does not matter anymore. No matter what I do, she will never leave his side.

‘My heart still longs for you… It hurts to let you go in another man’s arms.’

As I was about to ramble on and cried on again, she send me a text saying happy birthday. Oh! How I missed listening to her voice? I hold the phone dearly to me as I cried myself to sleep.

30^th May 2014

It’s her birthday. I… feel reluctant whether I should call her or not. As I was fidgeting myself whether to do it or not… My phone screen light up with her name on it… Im Yoona… Why do you always bravely make the first step? She starts our awkward conversation with a birthday song. Silently, I hold back my tears. How I missed her voice? I don’t know what happen to her and Yifan-ge… But, I promised not to ask. I keep the question inside my mind as I converse well with her. Again, she ask me what I wish for this year? I smiles weakly and once again I told her my other wishes. She smiles as she said that she had already sent a present to me this year. I don’t know why but… I feel like teasing her. I laugh it off as I about her boyfriend Lee Seung Gi… She just laughs along with me, but she did not say anything about it. I wonder why?

‘What matters to me right now… Is that I’m able to speak to you, laugh with you and make you happy just like before…’

The next day, a parcel arrived for me from Korea. I happily open the parcel as I smile looking at the present she sent. A Gucci Bag. She surely knows what I want. There’s even my name written on it.

Huang Zi Tao

How sweet will it sound whenever she called my name? I smile as I notice there’s another present. A Panda plushie. I laugh at the present. She truly never forget what I like.

‘Yoona ah~ Thank you… But, don’t make me fall for you more when I want to forget you…’

1^st December 2014

I’m back in Korea again.  I walk around the company before I entered the practice room where I first saw her. I don’t know what’s going on with her life and relationship lately. All I know is that forgetting her is hard for me. I’ve decided not to forget her… I close my diary which I bring along with me after I heard a sound on the door.

“Who’s that?”

Tao ask curiously as he look at the shadow standing by the doorway.

“Zi Tao…”

“Yoona…”

“What are you doing here?”

‘I could feel her voice weaken. Why Yoona?’

“I could ask you the same thing, noona… What are you doing here?”

“Ah… I’m just around here somewhere. I thought of stopping by. “

“Where’s your boyfriend, Yoona noona?”

“Oh… Umm…”

“I shouldn’t be asking anything… I guess. I’m leaving… noona…”

Tao walk away, but stop the moment he feel his wrist is being hold by the fragile hand of Im Yoona.

“Don’t leave…”

“Why?”

Tao coldness makes Yoona unable to hold herself from crying.

“Huang Zi Tao… Why are you doing this to me? What did I do? Why are you being so cold to me? Where’s the cheerful AB style ZiTao that I knew before?”

Tao look at Yoona with a pained expression. Tao sigh as he tries to pull away from Yoona but failed.

“Noona… You don’t need this cheerful Tao in your life. You already have a wonderful boyfriend…”

“What do you mean, Zi Tao?”

“Noona… After all this years… After all this phone calls and text messages… After all the moment and time we’ve spent together… Can’t you even tell that I love you? Can’t you even get the hint?”

“Huang Zi Tao… I’m sorry…”

“Tch… Keep that to yourself. Please be happy without having me in your life, Im Yoona… Good bye…” Tao walk away, leaving Yoona who cried herself due to regrets.

“Why you didn’t tell me earlier, Zi Tao? I’ve always liked… No, I’ve always loved you too…” Yoona cried as she hugs her knees closer to herself.

1^st December 2015

One year have passed… It’s been a while since I last seen her… Im Yoona… How are you? Did you eat well? Why do you look like you’re not happy whenever I see you on tv? It hurts me… Please don’t ruin my effort in making you happy this way. I know, it hurts me too when I decided not to be close with you anymore. But, it’s for the best… You don’t belong with me… You belong to him… I cried to myself more and more… I’ve missed your voice, your laughter, your smile, your story, your encouragement and everything about you. Forgive me… I can’t bear to see you hurting… It’s better this way. I’m sorry for not wishing you happy birthday this year… Let’s just say I wish it from afar. Yet, you still sent me birthday wishes during my birthday. The hyungs and maknae are all worried of you when they heard you got admitted to the hospital for getting into an accident. Yoona ah… Don’t let yourself killed. I love you… Please get up now… I have so many things I want to talk with you… It hurts me… When I see you lying on the hospital bed like this…

‘I love you…’

1^st December 2016

You are still unconscious… No matter what we try, you still remain unconscious on the bed. It pained us… Your friends came and cried as they see you in this state… Yoona ah… What happen when I’m not around? What happen to you? Yoona… please wake up… I can’t bear to see you like this. I’ve known everything already. Seung Gi hyung told me… That you didn’t really dated back then. It was for the sake of you moving on. Yoona ah~ Why you didn’t tell me earlier? No, I’m the idiot one. I feel bad for not confessing to you when you’ve been in love with me all this time. Yoona ah~ Please come back to my side…

‘I will never stop from loving you…’

“Yoona… I love you…”

Tao muttered under the coldness as he firmly grasp Yoona’s right hand. It hurts him seeing her like this. Tao tears starts to fall as he looks down.

“Zi… Tao…”

Tao eyes blinked the moment he heard the voice he’s been longing to hear. His tears roll down uncontrollably as he look at the weak figure in front of him.

“Yoona…”

“Zi… Tao… I… Love… You… Too…”

Tao cries harder as he pulls her into a soft embrace. Yoona tears also fall slowly trying to rhymes along his tears.

“I’m… Sorry…”

“Shh… I should be the one saying sorry… I love you… Im Yoona…”

Tao just let his tears fall as he embraces Yoona tighter.

That moment is what matters the most to both of them. Tao smile dearly to Yoona whom flashes him a warm smile that he had been longing to see.

“Thank you for staying alive… Im Yoona…”

1^st December 2017

I cannot hold myself from saying how happy I am with our life right now. I could tell myself back then to just let the story unfold by itself. I couldn’t help but chuckle when our members tries to fulfill your pregnancy needs. Thank you for marrying to me, Im Yoona… I love you… I could tell myself this… I could feel our baby kick whenever I softly caress your tummy. It sure is funny when I see you chuckle at me. Yoona ah… I love you… Now and forever…

‘I love you, Im Yoona~ I love you~”

Author’s Note:

A Tao x Yoona one-shot! Kekeke~ It is a diary version! Lol!

I’ve finished my quest on EXOYOONG one-shots! Keke! I’ve written for all the twelve members :3

Awww~ I know some of you might say that Tao and Yoona is more like siblings. But, nothing is impossible right? Kekekee~

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one-shot!

I know I’m sick and all that :3

But, I just love writing ~ More than anything ^^

Please leave comments, subscribe and upvotes if you like this :D

Love you, my readers <3

-mydanbo