Apologize   by One Republic

Lyrics

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say that...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Bridge (guitar/piano)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

I thought for a while that it is already morning and I was surprised to see the clock by my bedside to say it is only half hour past midnight.So I just had a couple of hour of sleep and yet I feel rested.I look around me,the lighted candle by the altar illuminated the room,as I got up and went to the bathroom to relieve myself.

I run to my head of what am I suppose to do today.I have to walk down my daughter down the bus stop,have a parent meeting this evening with the teacher,and yes a catechism class after her school today.For sure my hand will be full today,not including little Jared's schedule of feedings and bath.

I looked down at my husband sleeping in our bed,quietly sleeping.He still have the boyish looked in him.The reason why I am in this state.He still have the looks that melts my heart a few years back.

I tried to get back to sleep,but sleep eludes me.My mind is tired of thinking,I don't even want to think anymore.I feel so exhausted thinking,after the daily turn around day in and day out,you don't have the time and the strength to evaluate how was your day and where were you in all of this,maybe a coffee or a tea will clear my head,as I went to the kitchen.

I sat on the chair and stared at a blank wall for a few minutes while I waited for the kettle to buzz.Funny when everything is so silent,and I have this voices within myself that I don't even want to hear.I shook my head trying to shake it off.

The kettle made noise as I hurried to turn the stove off before it wakes up the whole household.I decided to make a tea,a calming tea to calm my nerves.The coffee won't do the work this time.

I walked to the family room and thought of watching some old late reruns of some funny series,but instead I sat in the couch with a mug of tea on my hand and stared at myself by the mirror in front of me.And needless to say i was surprised at what I saw in the mirror.Gone is the sweet and innocent me but a lady and I wondered where did the smile have gone?

I looked at myself and wondered when this all the years went by.I am not the teeny bopper anymore,I am a grown woman with a husband and kids.Somehow when you are young you thought that twenty five is halfway of life and when you hit thirty then you are downhill.I am not yet thirty and yet I felt that I am on the downhill already.

I remembered yesterday and my husband has been playing some love music in the room and felt that eveything has been for me.He has not been very good at words and expressing himself.We have some sort of falling out lately.He texted me yesterday as he said some endearing words and yet that doesn't touch me anymore the way it was before.Did my feelings changed?We have been married for sometime.We have kids to think of and consider.

I met Jiro when I was still students on my teens,nineteen to be exact.I can't stop thinking about him since I laid my eyed on him.He was handsome,funny,smart,filial son and God fearing man with a generous heart,what is not to like.I must have made an impression at him as he went his way to really get to know me.He asked my friends for my phone number,where I lived and how was I like.He pursued me like no other has done for me before him.At that time,I was skeptical,hesitant and I just got off from a bad relationship,I don't want another one right after the other.

Show ,my ex boyfriend at that time,who I loved and would have done anything for him to gain his approval left me in tears and exhausted,that I think that the heart aches and the pains that he has given me is enough to last me a lifetime.I never thought that somebody will come around and took all that pain and heartaches away that soon.

But Jiro is persistent,and relentless in his pursuit of me.He told me that he knew that I was the One for him and nobody else.I really think that he believed that I was the One for him and his belief rubbed it off on me.The hesitancy and the fear in my heart has vanished in thin air.I just knew that when I woke up one morning,I was already head over heels in love with him.The smile on my face won't leave and my heart is light and happy and everything is beautiful and colorful once again,this time more than ever.I would never have thought that I have been in love with Show all along.Now I thought of it as fleeting fancy.

We dated exclusively for a year until we graduated from college.I finished college when I was twenty,needless to say I was a brainiac and Jiro is a little older than me,a year and a half to be exact,which is just perfect.

After graduation and finding a job,we decided to get married,since we knew we belong to each other why wait.And my parents would not like the idea that Jiro and I have been sleeping together since we graduated.

Our first night one memorable for it was a very special one.I was a ,thank God,I did not give myself to Show though he's been wanting to and I almost give in to his wishes,but my strict conservative upbringing got the better of me,and needless to say that my relationship with Show is unstable since i have been hearing girls behind my back.

Jiro knew of my relationship with Show but he knew that I have my moral values intact.I was but I knew that he has been girls before me.He just know what to do to put me at ease and to enjoy our first time despite the pain and discomfort.And I know that I have strict upbringing but when it comes to Jiro I seem to forget the world.I am only aware of his touches,of his kisses and nothing else matters.

After seven years of being together,and after two kids,now everything seems to be a blah.I am so exhausted and up to my rim of patience.I don't even want to hear his words of sweet nothings anymore.I just so hate him and irritated by him.

I got up and I saw an old photobook of us,as I bend down and picked it up and went back to the couch to look at it.I saw a picture of us making goofy at each other as he tried to make me laugh.That was during our first year,when we have so much time with each other.I remembered the early drive ins down South and having breakfast in one of the highway diners.The late trip to the beaches and staying in one of the hotels and Inns by the water.We used to make love until early in the morning and laughed and goofed and tell stories and shared our dreams together.How we shared showers together and ended up making love all over again.The early morning walk in the beach as the sun rises as he put his arms around me and kisses me to make me warm.Those where one of our happier times.

Then after a year we got bored and decided that it is time for kids as Samantha came and then little Jared.She still remembered when she delivered Samantha as Jiro look so afraid and nervous,and the first time he saw Samantha and the happiness and the tears that filled his eyes,as he came to me to give me a loving kiss and whispered "I love You".I have never seen that much love in his eyes until now.

The triumphant look in his face when I delivered Jared as he gave me a thumbs up sign and jumped with joy and hugged me so tight that I could hardly breathe and again he whispered "I love You".The way he rattled of things to do with his son .Tears ran to my eyes looking at each pictures of us.So much history and so much love,will I just tossed them aside after one big mistake.So many things to consider now,the kids,can I live a day without him in my life?

I was flipping and staring at out pictures and never realized that Jiro was just in front of me as he saw the tears on my face.I felt his hand on my shoulder, my skin burned at his touch,as I tried to shook his hand away from me.

"Selina,you have to trust in me this.I never did it.I have been faithful to you all these years.I don't deny I am almost tempted but I could not do it because of you and the kids.I value you more than anything else in the world." Jiro said.

"But you went out with her and thought of doing it ,and that what hurt's me." I told him."I thought I could trust
you,what if the same temptation happen again and......."

"I promised you,it won't happen again.It is you that I love not her or any other girl.I know what I did is stupid and I gambled our relationship but I should know by this time." Jiro said"I love you ,please forgive me." as he knelt before me as he looked me into the eyes.I can see the tears that are threatening to fall,and I can see the quiver in his lips,my own heart melts at the sight of him.

He wiped away my tears and this time I did not flinched as I looked at him straight in his eyes.And as his lips came to meet mine ,I can hear my own heart beat and my own heart saying that I still love this man very much.With his arms around me and his lips devouring my own lips in passion,I just know now that nothing else matters but the guy in front of me and the product of our love for each other,our kids.They are all I need in my life right now and nobody can take them away from me......not without a fight....and into my last breath.....

Selina Wang.....