I know my stories has been a big drama lately.It must be my depression and boredom coming together.But I can feel my mood lifting soon,cause I have been getting better.My color has been coming back,pretty soon,I will be back on my old self.

Even Jiro can't seem to lift up my mood for the past few days.Is he losing his touch on me? I can't even listen to Fahrenheit music,somehow it gives me a feeling of melancholy.Is there something that I am not aware but I can feel that something sad is coming my way?But when did I get psychic anyway...maybe something good or a surprise is coming my way,or is it the frustration,that is setting on me?

I have loved Jiro and Fahrenheit to the core.So many times I feel like giving up and just forget them altogether.They live a thousand miles away from me anyway.Jiro will never understand me,and I will never understand him if we came face to face today or in the future.He may never looked my way nor acknowledged everything that I have felt and done for him anyway {Not that I am asking}And yet it is hard to let go.

Maybe next time ,if I ever idolized again,I won't go this deep anymore.I wont read and follow up their personal life nor get to know their every dreams and heart aches anymore.I won't memorized every line of their face,every contours ,every dots.I won't tucked in my hearts their smiles,laughters and their tears.I will just watch them when they act and listen to their music and everything will stop from there.I won't write them any sad song,poems not write them any stories.I think my being a fan girl will start and stop at Jiro and the Fahrenheit.

Being to involve is just to frustrating... You just want to love them,take care of them and protect them from all the harsh elements of the world and sometimes even that is not enough.And if it is not even enough,you open your wallet and pour your last dollar on them,you spent all your free time with them and even lose sleep over them ,you defended them from all the bashers or whoever criticized them,you picked the right girl for them and dictate their hearts that they followed your wish,you want the best in everything for them.

I think this time ,I have gone too far.I think it is time for me to focus on myself and the people around me,who love and care for me always.The love of my life who is always by my side,took care of me when I am sick,cooked and served me,held my hand when I am afraid and stayed with me through thick and thin.I think I am very lucky to have him.He may never be perfect but he is one of the gifts that God gave me,and I am very thankful.Sometimes being sick make you realized all the things that you took for granted.

I will still love Jiro,my love for him will never waver,like the song"The Moon Represents My Heart" for he did touched my heart in special way.Jiro and Fahrenheit will always have a special place in my heart.I will always wished them the best of everything in life.

Wo Ai Ni Mr Jiro Wang Dong Cheng.....Forever....

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The song is Korean sang by Super Junior She's Gone...I hope after this story my next story will be in a happier tone.And as I looked at my stories,it has been a while since I wrote a Bebu story...so this is my long overdue Bebu story...and yes I have to write Calvin a story too....

SHE'S GONE by Super Junior {English Translation}

When did you start becoming weary of me?
What burden did i give you?
You no longer say anything
I've become unable to ask now
Without the usual grumbling
Still smiling that polite smile

Even the usual affection has gone
Not even once still smiling that polite smile
To cover the misery from your eyes
Maybe it's my foolishness
I'm sorry My love

Seeing you turn your back away from me
Love leaving me
Even now you're still with me
But I'm able to see
The moment when you leave me
I wouldn't know
I wonder if you even loved me deeply

If you are coming back
No if ever once more will you smile at me
I can't support your heart that is alone
Maybe because of my pride
I'm sorry My love

Seeing you slowly turning cold towards me
I know now I'm hopeless
With the moment of you leaving me looming
In the name of love
That's slowly changing colors my love
Love had left me and I don't know

Even saying words of apology
I'm sorry but...
What should I say?
What should I do?
Even breathing has become difficult
I'm still wandering in past times
At this moment
I'm really am helpless

Even though now
You're still with me but I already can see
The moment that you will leave me
I wouldn't know
I wonder if you really love me deeply

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8kXnOHYGTM&feature=related

Hebe folded the last of her clothes and put it in the luggage.She looked at the clock on the wall and it says nine o clock.Arron is not even home yet.No phone calls nor words to say that he is going to be late tonight.Not that she is waiting for him.She stopped waiting for him to come home for these past days.He comes and go whenever and whatever he wished for.She stopped asking questions and ye she stopped caring.

She doesn't even knew when did she stopped caring.Things has been building up,it did not happened in one day,in weeks but months.Sometimes you just get tired and you stopped fighting.You just let it be.it is hard to fight fate and even harder to fight the battle alone.You need your partner to fight along with you.She have been hurt too long.her heart has been bruised and broken so many times.Is it even worth fixing,knowing it is going to be broken again?

She can't even cry,tears have long been gone.It is just this feeling that you have kept inside and now finally it is out in the open.Finally the anger,the hurt and the resentment that have been bottled inside are all out.Finally she can act out on them and it is freeing and relieving at the same time.

Maybe they were not meant to be in the first place.So many obstacles,in as much as many people have wished them well for their relationship to flourish,fate has a way of acting on the opposite sides.So many wasted time and so many wasted energy and effort and so many invested emotions that went the drain.

She got ready for the night,her last night in this house,and he is not even here.Maybe it is for the better,maybe it will be a lot easier for them to say goodbye...They have nothing to say to each other anyway.All the words has been said,there is no use repeating the same hurting words again...

Arron took the last gulp from his glass,as he looked at his watch.It is still early,he is undecided whether to go home or just go some other place and spend the night somewhere far from the house and far from Hebe.The last fight has been bad and he couldn't think of anything to bridge the gap between them.He couldn't stopped the inevitable,both of them knew that it is coming.They have to say goodbye,in order for them to stop hurting each other.

Anything of too much is bad.Too much love for each other ,and then it became a poison for both of them.One should stop caring in order not to get hurt.Why is caring and hurting are akin to each other? They should just let each other go,it is easier that way,but why it is so hard to let go?

He got up and paid his tab,as he decided to go home and go against his common sense and reasoning.He have to see her the last time,spend some time with her before she goes,even though it will hurt so much.it is better than nothing...At least I can still tucked in some memories of her before she goes...Arron thought.

The house was dark and quiet.Loneliness looms and shadows cast over the impending heartache.he close the door behind.The house is clean and everything is in order.it seems bigger now,since she wrapped up her precious knick knacks and collections and memorabilia s that was displayed in the cabinet.

He was undecided for a while whether to go upstairs to their bedroom or stay in the sofa for the night.She might be sleeping already,but his heart got the better of him,he wants to take a glimpse of her sleeping in their bed for the last time,as he tiptoed upstairs.

As he opened the door of their bedroom,his heart beating so fast and the tears that threatens to fall any minute now.The light rays shines on the room and he can see her silhouette against the backdrop of the black night.He walked slowly wanting to see her closer,wanting to touch her and yes wanting to hold her in his arms once again.

He stared at her face as the tears fell and rolled on his cheeks.How can he let her go,when she meant a world to him.He loved her truly,she is the only one who have touched and kept possession of his heart through out this times.Why did she gave up on him?Did she ever loved him at all?

Hebe stirred feeling a movement in the room and opening her eyes, seeing Arron in front of her in tears.The tears that have been long dried out came as she stared at Arron,as they stared at each other and wondered where are all the love that they have for each other have gone.They stared for a seconds and then minutes with tears in their eyes and then realizing the great love that they have for each other.

"Arron,you are crying?" Hebe asked.

"I don't want you to go Hebe.I love you.I can't let you go." Arron said."Is there any way in your heart that can make you love me again Hebe? Is there even a little hope for both of us?" as he cried unashamedly in front of her.

"Oh Arron...there are so many times that you have hurt me.So many times in the past ,that I don't know if I could just ignore and pass them up" Hebe said as she looked at him."I still love you.God knows I still love you so much." as Arron took Hebe in his arms.

"Please forgive me Hebe.I am sorry for hurting you,for being foolish.I just want to love you for the rest of my life." Arron said.

"Oh Arron,how can I say no to you.Perhaps another chance with you.Definitely another chance with you,for I love you very much." Hebe said,as they wiped each other tears,and finally Arron kissing the woman that he loves and that is Hebe,only Hebe for the rest of his life...Hebe and Arron FOREVER...