A/N- Somehow today...I feel like that there is a big change coming my way.I can't pinpoint which one but somehow...I know that I got to change something.Is it some sort of growing pains ?????I have been holding on for so long..Maybe it is time to move on to the next stage of my life.So many possibilities and so many doors that are open...I don't know which one to choose.Will I make the mistake of opening the wrong door,when I cannot turn back and go the other way???? or will I be lucky enough to find the doors of treasures????

We all know that change is something inevitable in one's life.And yet when you are in the place. when you are comfortable,in fact so comfortable and contented,that you hate to move on to the next level.There is a change coming but I don't know what is it.And somehow there is a big anxiety in my heart.I am afraid,and scared of something ???of the unknown??? I don't wanna let go of the things that I have now,don't want to let go of my family and friends,and the people that I love and loved....

I know that now,there is only one that I can hold on...which is the Mighty One above. Have I forgotten HIM????Somehow I always knew that he is always around,always been there for me,and  at times...yes I took HIM for granted...I know He will hold my hand and guide me through....I need to be strong .And yes finally ,I have grown up......the next step might be scary but I am ready to face it head s on......

Gee...I just need to write this down........

3/23/2010

Now for my Jirlina story,it is special for it is my 50th chapter....and I think that it is only right that my favorite couple will be on it.

Holiday is just around the corner.I think I will try a holiday stories after this...Thinking about 12 days of Christmas...that will be nice...let me see if I have the time....

Now for my story....

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She's Out Of My Life by Michael Jackson

She's out of my life
She's out of my life
And I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
She's out of my life

It's out of my hands
It's out of my hands
To think for two years since she was here
And I took her for granted
I was so cavalier
Now the way it stands
She's out of my hands

So I've learned that love's not possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now I've learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late

And she's out of my life
She's out of my life
Damned indecision and cursed pride
Kept my love for her locked deep inside
And it cuts like knife
She's out of my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFOo {Michael Jackson}
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wHn {Josh Groban}

It was late at night,as Jiro drove in the highway.The road was dark and he was having a second thought about going home tonight.He decided to stopped by the bar and have a drink ,until he finally decided to go home halfway his drink.He have to see her before she leaves,he have to see her, and tell her the truth, maybe I can still stop her...

The house was dark and empty,when he went inside.He felt so heavy in his heart.She is gone ,just like she have said earlier,and he was not even there.How can he be so unfeeling like she does not even matter in his life ,when it is really the opposite ,for she is all that mattered in his life..

Selina was her stepsister,her Mom and his Dad married when they were in their teens.Both lost their other parents at a young age.They sort of hated each other at first until they discovered each other and they started liking and loving each other,at first like brothers and sisters,for they are family,but watching her grow and become a lady right before his eyes,make him love her more than a sister but much more.

Their own parents after being together for five years have divorced.And now Selina's Mom have married a diplomat that requires to travel from one country to another,and so Selina opted to stay in Taiwan,and since she considered Jiro as a family,she stayed with him and his Dad.And although their own parents divorced,they remained to have a very friendly and amicable relationship.They are still friends ,but the marriage relationship did not suit them.Jiro's Dad treated Selina like his own daughter too.

And everything sort of worked out for everybody.Until Jiro's Dad died suddenly from heart attack and that really threw Jiro off.He became difficult and the pressure of taking over his Dad's business made him grew up so fast and matured.Gone was the happy go lucky Jiro that make Selina laughed all the time,replaced by the difficult man Selina have to live with.
He became sullen and cold,and withdrawn,barely talking to Selina and seeing her ,like they don't live together in the same house..He refused her attentions and affections, for reasons she does not understands.

Selina felt that Jiro does not need her,and have completely ignored her presence in the house ,and so she decided to look for a place of her own.She have started working on her own anyway.And from other people's point of view,they are not related anymore and it some sort of threw people off,that both of them should be living together in the same house.Even Selina own boyfriend questioned it.

"Why are still living with him in the same house?"Danson asked."I don't think you should stay there."

"But Jiro was seldom home now."Selina said."And if I leave him ,he will be all alone,and I am the only family he got."

"You are worried about him,but not worried about yourself,what will other people will say."Danson said.

"I don't care about what other people will say."Selina said."Jiro needs me ,I can't leave him"

"How about me?Did you ever think about me?"Danson asked.

Selina just looked at Danson but stayed with Jiro just the same.

One night Jiro came home and found Danson and Selina in the house,and he did not like what he saw.His jealousy was eating him,seeing them together,as he ignored them.Selina felt hurt,the way he was treating her.

That night Selina confronted Jiro,she was so hurt and so mad at him.She went to him, ready to lay the cards on the table.

"Jiro,I think we have to talk."Selina said."If you don't want me in the house,just let me know,but don't ignore me.I thought,we are together in everything.Remember when we are young,you promised me." as she become teary...

Jiro looked at her,loving her and yes,he can't love her,like he want to love her."I don't know what you are talking about Selina."Jiro said."You know,you can always stay in the house,this is your home too."

"I mean you,you have been avoiding me,ignoring me.Are you mad at me or something?" Selina asked."What did I do?"

"You did not do anything Selina."Jiro answered."It is me.I am just consumed with pressure at the job.I was not ready for this responsibility at everything.I am sorry." as he tried to walk away from her.But Selina stopped her as she hold on to his hands.

"No,there is something more,don't you care for me anymore?"Selina asked."I thought you love me,but how come you are brushing me off from your life."

"I am sorry Selina,if you feel that way.I still do care for you more than you'll ever know."his voice faltering as if carefully choosing his words,as if he is treading in a dangerous grounds.Selina hugged him,and Jiro hugged her back.And he felt the emotions that he has been hiding from her.He wants her more than a sister,more than a friend and he cannot tell her that.It has been getting harder to be living with her in the same house and hide all the feelings he have for her.

But then Jiro remained withdrawn from Selina and Selina was so hurt of his own coldness towards her.Then she decided to learned the truth once and for all and then she is going to leave him.She found an apartment to share with,her friend Hebe.

Jiro found Selina waiting for him one night.He was surprised.He can see the stubbornness on her face and he knows this time ,she will be wanting the truth from him.He does not know if he can lie anymore...

"Selina ,you are still awake?" Jiro asked."It is quite late already."

"So you know,it is late,but where have you been?"Selina asked."I called the office and told me you have left for the day.Where have you been all this time?"

"I don't think I have to answer that."Jiro said."I don't think,it is any of your business ,where I go and who I am with."

"I am sorry,if I overstepped my boundary."Selina said."I forget,I am just your stepsister and,we are not even related.I don't have any business sticking my nose." as she walked away.Jiro was left alone puzzled,and cannot make out what she has been up to.

Selina went to her room crying.Jiro really put her in place this time.She needs to leave him.He does not care anymore.He treats me like I don't even existed,she thought.But now,she have realized,that she loves him more than a brother and a friend.She have been in love with him all along and she does not even aware of it until lately.She was so hurt when she learned that he has been going out with a certain girl,when they saw them together.And Danson saw her expression,and confirmed what he has been thinking all along,that she have feelings for her stepbrother.They broke up that same day.

A day after, Selina decided to leave him.She is going to talk to him in the morning.That morning she waited for him during breakfast..

"Jiro,I am leaving today.I will be living with Hebe."Selina said."I have thought about it,and I think it is about time for me,to live on my own."She waited for his reaction,but he was so quiet,like he have not heard what she have just said.She finally could not take his silenced as she turned
to leave.

Jiro was left stunned.She is leaving me for good,he thought.Maybe it is for the better.Then,I will be able to forget her,when she is gone.But his heart felt so heavy and sad.He did not know that tears came and Selina was gone.

He sat on the sofa with his hands on his face.He felt so empty and so alone,now that she was gone.He did not even told her how he really felt about her.He loves her,but she loves him only like brother,and that is all he can ever be.

And then he heard a movement from somewhere as he lifted his head and it was Selina...he was caught in surprise as his emotions took over,as he went to her as he embraced her,glad with the knowledge that she was still in his life.

"Selina,you have not left.You are still here?"Jiro asked."Please don't leave me I love you"

Selina was caught in surprised at the outburst of Jiro's emotions."Oh I can't leave you,I love you Jiro."Selina said.
"I can't leave you all alone."

"I love you Selina,more than a sister,and more than a friend,I love you more than my life."Jiro said."I can't hide and hold mu feelings for you anymore.

"I love you too more than anybody else.I am in love with you,for a long time,but never knew it till recently."Selina said.

"Thank God you never left me.I will be so lost without you."Jiro said.

"I can't even if you told me to.You got my heart,and I cannot live without my heart."Selina said smiling.

Jiro hugged her and kissed her as they shared the secret love they have for each other....Both did not know that they shared the same feelings for the longest time....finally ...Jiro and Selina together ....