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Rainy Nights

Rain in my heart,
The tears won't stop, tonight
In the end, you left me behind, like something temporarily forgotten...

I miss you

This world without you trembles in the dark
It'd be nice if this was all just a dream
Though I want to see you, oh my boy
The reason I can't meet you
Is because I don't want to hear your goodbye
Baby I still love you

Don't cry anymore,
You're always being a crybaby
And even that part of you is so sweet
Now someone else, not me,
Is wiping away your tears

But I love you, you're unforgettable
Alive only in my memories,
This feeling is forever
Your scent from that day we embraced will never leave my body
Baby I still love you

I can't take it off, this cross on my chest with your name engraved on it
Baby you're my love

This world without you trembles in the dark
It'd be nice if this was all just a dream
Though I want to see you, oh my boy
The reason I can't meet you
Is because I don't want to hear your goodbye

Even now, I love you
(Baby I still love you)
You're unforgettable

I'm just living in memories
This feeling will last forever
Even if ceaseless rain falls on my heart alone,
Eternally drenching it

I can't say goodbye cause I love you

Lightning flashed before the dark clouds,as Junsu looked ahead of the road.Total darkness enveloped the outside,but he was unmindful of the darkness outside,unmindful of the rain that drops in front of his mirror while driving on the way home.His thoughts was full of  Joanne .She must be waiting for him.

He can see her clearly ,as she must be getting ready to leave.Ready to board on that plane,that will be taking her away from him.But instead of going all the way to the airport to stop her ,here he was going to the opposite directions.But he knows he can't do anything,their goodbyes is something that wil happen sooner or later.

She belonged there,and here it is where he belong,always belong.To them there will be no compromise or in between.They are not supposed to meet,much less  to fall in love with each other.But somehow they met and it only took a few hours of knowing her and before he knew it, he was halfway in love love with her and he cannot go back.

He has learned so much about her in short period of time.And yes she learned so much about him too.Their constant meeting and their opening of their thoughts and hearts to each other,one can't help but fall for one another.She is a girl of wisdom ,of virtues  and of great beauty.She is beautiful inside and outside,as he stared at her each day that they were together.

He knew too that somehow,he is somebody special for her.She told him herself.And somehow the words that she has been saying ,has been plainly talking to him,pointing to him ,in every possible way.And even though he didn't tell her anything about his feelings for her,he just knew that she knew that he loves her like no other.It must be love feeling love....

He still remembers the first time they are together.It is also raining like this,in her hotel room.While they are doing the first of their work together.Junsu is a writer in their local paper and she was quite a celebrity in her own field.His collegue a writer  presented the idea to their editor , got accepted ,for he was a fan  and  before she can come over ,he got sick and has to be replaced by Junsu ,because an arragement has  made for him to see her while she was in their town.He has heard so much about her.A woman of extraordinary talents and  wisdom.She herself was world known for her books,a New York's best selling author and she was in town to write something to do with her books.

He was surprise to see her down to earth and not much of a celebrity that he has known on the paper.She is also very beautiful with certain maturity in her.She got that classical beauty, a dark brown eyes,a smooth skin ,a pouuting red lips and a  face that never aged in time and a wild untamed dark brown hair..

He was quite nervous as he extend his hand on her.She miled at him,something so tue and something so sweet.The first smile must have caught his heart for he seems cannot get her out of his mind after that.Her first laugh,so wild and yet so innocent ,as she tossed back her head and laughed really laughed.In as much as she has this disciplined about her,she also got this wild streak in her,that is so fascinating and yes quite unpredictable.To him she is all woman ,and yes she is the woman that he wants to spend his whole life with.Only if she didn't have the commitment that she have.....she is engaged to be married and they got a date already....a month before he met her...

Tears blurred his eyes,as he was home,and yet he stayed in his car ,unable to stand ,unable to do anything ,right now.The rain still continues to pour,as memories of her still kept pouring in.

"So you are Junsu,it is nice to meet you.I hope you won't have a hard time writing about me,for sometimes I can be quite difficult." she said.

"I'll try to finish this in a short time as possible.I don't want to be in a way of what you have to do in our town." he said.

"Actually,I really don't have to do much.I was just doing some background check on the next book that I have to write.I am more like collecting datas,before I start my book. And this sort of a breather,I have been in to so much stress lately, I just have to get away before the big day in my  life." as she smiled."Maybe you can show me around and learn more about your place,as an insider ."

"I will be honored to show you around." he said.

She laughed to him and to herself."You made me feel so ancient saying that. I am not that old."

"And I am not that young either." he said.

"And please cut the formality.I feel like I am out of this world..." she said.

Junsu nodded his head and smiled."How about a dinner to break the ice?Just you and me.Nobody would mind,is it?" she asked.

"Of course not,nobody would mind." he said.

"Good,good,Take me a place where ordinary people would go.Somewhere familiar and yes quite comfortable,where I don't have to dress up just to eat." she said.

"I knew a lot of that kind of place." Junsu said."So what time do I picked you up?"

"How about now?I am almost ready to go." she said.

"Sure,now will be a good time.'" he said.And soon enough she went inside her room and ina few minutes,she came back in jeans and teeshirt and yes with barely a make up in her face,except for the color in her lips,and yes she looked beautiful,so naturally beautiful,as he stared at her...

Their constant togetherness  sort of made them friends on the first week and then a silent lover on the second week.The unspoken words and the meaningful glances,he just knew and she just knew,that they harbored a secret feeling for each other.he wants to take her and claimed her as his own.He wants to keep her in his town but the diamonds in her hands prevented him from doing so.She must also love him to commit to him.For what it is worth,whatever they have for each other is just a fleeting attraction and no more than that...

Two weeks came by so fast and so yesterday,as they stared at each other for the last time.He cannot find the right words to tell her,and yet his heart is screaming for her, wanting her love and attention...and as he read the letter she gave him...

How can someone fall for something or someone?I have been thinking a lot about you lately.The more I tried to stay away from you ,the more I think of you.

I know that what I am feeling for you is wrong,so very wrong.I tried to look at it at every possible way to make it right ,to reason that what I have for you is right,but then the final conclusion is still wrong.

I thought that I could love you now and then eventually forget you or even love you from a distance.But how come i am hurting so much?How come I am crying and feeling the pain now ?

You just don't know,how many times I told myself to stop loving you,telling myself to forget you but my heart won't listen.it is stupid and dumb and foolish feeling this way,but still my heart won't listen.My heart is still screaming I love you.

I can't leave you alone,for my heart is afraid,that if i leave you,then you might be needing me somehow. Or maybethere will be a time where you will be needing love sometime and then nobody will love you enough like the way that i love you.I want you to feel loved and accepted all the time.And i want that not a day in your life or in a year ,will you be needing love,for I will be willing to fill you with all my love.

I hope that you can feel all the love that I have for you.But even that can be so wrong.I have so much love within me and yet i cannot even share it with you.I know i have to say goodbye soon,but what will i be doing after that? i will be thinking of you more sp than before.

I hope you can show me how to love you right.I hope God will show me how to love you right in his eyes.If love is such a positive feeling,how can it be so wrong?I keep looking at every angle ,at every contrast,for the right words of how will i go on about this feeling.Show me the signs,show me the way,how will i go on about this?

I hope tomorrow I will wake up and then all of this feeling for you will all be gone...Then maybe I can start anew...

Joanne..

Junsu folded the letter and dried his eyes...he has to see her..before she leaves.And he hopes it is not too late for both of them...