Chapter 98

Blackouts should come with a warning. When a storm happens there should be some type of siren warning the outage of lights in the neighborhood. Seunghyun wasn’t prepared for the blackout, he wasn’t prepared to be surrounded by the darkness of their small dorm.

He wasn’t expecting to be in an apartment alone with their fearless leader who would be able to see how afraid he was. Seunghyun was afraid of the dark and Jiyong would find out his secret.

Seunghyun was hunched against the wall, balled up in a corner of the livingroom, with his heart beating heavily in his chest. His breathing was ragged as the darkness seemed to get darker and his eyes refused to adjust.

“, the power went out. I hope the others are alright.” Jiyong's voice was annoyed as the sound of a door opening filled the silent living room.

Youngbae, Seungri, Daesung, and their manager were out for the night. They went home for the weekend as they missed their families. Seunghyun and Jiyong had the dorm to themselves.

Seunghyun clenched his fists and jumped as something slammed onto the floor. He prayed that it was jiyong moving around the apartment and not something else. Seunghyun hated the dark for this very reason. He didn’t like not knowing what was going on around him.

“Hyung? Where are you?”

He didn’t want to answer. He wasn’t even sure he could. Honestly, Seunghyun didn't think he had to. Jiyong would be able to follow the sounds of his ragged breath that had yet to calm. The darkness did things to him that he wasn’t able to control. Seunghyun felt pathetic.

“Hyung, aren’t you a little too old to be scared of the dark?” Jiyong whispered as he crouched down next to the shivering man’s frame. He reached a hand out to comfort the older man but retracted his hand as the man flinched away at the touch.

Seunghyun bit his lips to keep back the tears. He wasn’t crying because he was scared, which he was, he wanted to cry from the embarrassment he was facing. He was ashamed to have such a childish fear and he was ashamed to have his boyfriend witness such a sight.

He hadn’t meant to move away from Jiyongs touch, but it was a reflex. As a child the only touch his body allowed in these circumstances were his mother's. His mother was always able to calm him down. His mother wasn’t there.  

She would probably call him to check on him.

“Hyunnie, are you okay?”

Seunghyun gasped as he tried to take in more air. It wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be happening. Then the room was spinning and he felt like he was going to throw up. His whole body was shaking, he couldn’t catch his breath, and his heart was pounding out of his chest.

He was so scared.

“Breath, just breath.” Words were whispered into his ears as he was forcefully grabbed into Jiyong’s arms. He could feel the sweat forming as his head was held against the clothed chest, his forehead rubbing against the fabric.

“Seunghyun, you have to breath. I’ve got you.”

He wasn’t sure how long Jiyong held him, but he could feel his breathing calm. Finally, he was feeling better. Slowly, his eyes opened to the brightness of the room. The lights had come back on in the middle of his panic attack.

He bit his lip as he slowly pulled out of the others arms. Seunghyun was to shy to make eye contact. He kept his gaze on the floor as Jiyong raised a hand to wipe the sweat off of his face. He was back to being embarrassed now that his episode had passed. It was the first time he had an attack since he was a child, but this was the first time it had happened during a power outage.

Seunghyun thought he had grown out of it.

“Hyunnie, are you okay?” Jiyong’s voice was full of concern as he cupped his face with his palms and forced their eyes to meet.

“I’m fine.” His voice was hoarse and his throat was sore. He was going to be okay.

“Good, can you stand?”

Seunghyun nodded as Jiyong helped him onto his feet. He wobbled but was able to stand firm after a while.

“You might want to call your mom. I’ll call the others to make sure they’re okay. I think I heard my phone ringing earlier.”

Jiyong lead him to the couch as he spoke. His voice was soft. Seunghyun was grateful that Jiyong said nothing about what had just happened.

He sat on the couch in silence and watched as Jiyong disappeared into a bedroom before pulling out his phone and dialing the only number he knew by heart.

“Hyunnie?”

“Mom.”

“My son, are you okay? There was a massive power outage all over the city.”

“I had a panic attack.”

“My baby, do I need to come get you? I can be in the car as soon as possible.”

Seunghyun smiled at his mom’s concern. He was still a mama’s boy. “I’m okay mom, Jiyong was here. He calmed me down.”

“I can always count on that boy to take care of you.”

Seunghyun chuckled as Jiyong sat next to him on the couch, curling to his side as he texted into the group chat to make sure the others were okay.

“Yeah, you can.”

2 chapters left? I have all of the chapters writen out now and it's kind of bittersweet.