Chapter 75

“Do you think that I’m crazy?” Jiyong played with his fingers as he asked the solemn question. He had been thinking alot lately, about his life, and his relationship with Seunghyun.

They had been together for a while but it felt as though the relationship would shatter any moment. His insecurities were gaining control of his every thought.

“Why would you be crazy?” Youngbaes voice was calm as he continued to play his video game.

“For dating Seunghyun.” Jiyong sighed as he let himself fall against the cushion behind him. His neck bent up as his eyes lingered on the white ceiling and his hearing picked up on the cheering crowd of the game on the screen.

“That doesn’t really answer my question.”

He had been thinking about it. Seunghyun was attractive, way more attractive than any other person he had dated, but he still wasn’t completely sure he was even attracted to men. Jiyong had been a victim of an unrequited love for years now, forced to watch as Seunghyun was consistently hit on by woman who could be models and his heart would shake every time the man would return the advances.

When Seunghyun had finally asked him out on a date he had been ecstatic. His love was finally going to be returned but it wasn’t as he had expected. The relationship between them hadn’t moved passed where it had been before.

No kissed, no holding hands, nothing but a few dates that rarely happened. Jiyong wasn’t sure why Seunghyun wouldn’t move on past friends if they clearly held the titles of lovers. Unless, Jiyong was getting ahead of himself and Seunghyun still viewed them as such.

It wouldn’t surprise him much but it would break his heart. Seunghyun could do so much better then him.

“For dating someone who doesn’t really like me.” His voice was soft as he spoke. He listened as Youngbae continued to press the buttons of his controler.

“You think Seunghyun doesn’t like you?”

Jiyong played with the ring on his finger as he leaned back up in his seat. He waited until the game was paused before nodding his head in answer. He finally had his best friend's attentions as chinky eyes landed on him.

“Why do you think that?”

He shrugged to hide his embarrassment and looked at his fingers still spinning the ring. Talking about his feelings wasn’t something he was fond of, even if it was the one person he knew he could trust with his life. “He doesn’t do anything with me.”

Youngbae laughed as he turned back to play his game. Jiyong glared at being brushed off and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You probably haven’t noticed because you’ve been so into your own feelings, but Seunghyun definitely likes you more than you like him.”

It was unbelievable, completely unrealistic. There was no way that was possible when he had liked Seunghyun for so long. His feelings for the man were unrivaled by the feelings of the other man. Seunghyun was attracted to other woman, he could be attracted to them while Jiyong was only attracted to Seunghyun.

“You could ask anyone in the office how smitten with you hyung is.”

It was skeptical, and Jiyong didn’t believe him. Reaching over to grab the controller from his distracted friend, he held out a finger as the other tried to snatch it back. He needed an answer, an elaboration on what the other had just said. How could the whole office know how much Seunghyun liked him if he didn’t know himself? “I’ll give this back when you elaborate.”

Youngbae sighed and turned to face him completely. “Everyone knows Seunghyun cares more about you then you do about him. Sure, you like him but he genuinely care for you. In case you haven’t noticed, every time your hungry he offers to go get food for you. When you are having a stressful time he takes the time to do whatever he can to help relieve your stress. When you do something to get in trouble with the president, he takes the blame because everyone knows how you mope around after being scolded. All because he wants to see you happy.”

Jiyong stared, wide eyed as things he hadn’t realized were revealed. He hadn’t realized how much the other had done for him. He was to focus on his own insecurities to even pay attention.

“Let’s not forget how he always offered to ride with the manager late at night to ensure you get home safely before calling a cab to get home himself even though you live in opposite directions. He does a lot for you while you think about yourself. Sure, Seunghyun doesn’t initiate physical contact but if you paid more attention to him you would notice how hesitant he is everytime he goes to grab your hand. Do you realize how pitiful it is to watch a grown man struggle to hold a hand and give up in the process because he’s too nervous to touch you? God, Jiyong. Give the man a break. Stop waiting for him to initiate something and initiate something yourself.”

Silence settled between the two and Jiyong was shocked speechless. He hadn’t been expecting Youngbae to blow up as he had and he wondered how long the other had been waiting for a chance to tell him.

“Now that I’ve elaborated, give me back my controller before I kick you out of my house. I almost lost because of you.”

He held the controller out to its owner and his hand dropped onto his lap as it was snatched for his hand. Sounds of the game flowed from the television again and he knew he had lost Youngbae’s attention completely.

Jiyong turned and leaned back against the couch. Now that he thought about it, there was a lot Seunghyun had done for him. There were many different ways the Seunghyun showed his emotions. Sometimes, it was hard to remember that the man was romantically inept. He grew nervous when someone touched him so of course he would be nervous to touch someone else.

He knew, starting tomorrow, he would be the one to initiate everything he felt the relationship was lacking in.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he smiled at the sender. It was Seunghyun.

Ji, do you want to come over? I ordered too much food.

It was an excuse, he knew it as soon as he read it. Seunghyun never ordered too much food. He wanted to create a reason to invite Jiyong over. He didn’t know that Jiyong would be willing to drop everything in order to spend time with the man. Jiyong would have to put in more effort to show Seunghyun how much he cared about him as well.

I was just thinking about you. I’ll be there shortly.

It seemed as though everything he had planned on initiating tomorrow would be initiated earlier than expected.

If he was lucky, he would be able to spend the night.

So... Hi :)