Chapter 63

The last person Seunghyun had ever expected to see knocking at his front door before he headed out for his daily activities was G-Dragon.

It was awkward as the two sat across from one another at his long kitchen table. They hadn’t spoken in a long time, 3 years. Bigbang went on hiatus, Seunghyun established his name as an award winning actor as the others pursued their own career paths. Daesung was finally breaking out in the movie industry, Seungri had released album after album, Taeyang opened his own performing arts academy while investing in YG, and G-Dragon gained celebrity status by becoming the greatest self produced soloist to ever hit the generation. At least, that’s what the tabloid magazines said.

Seunghyun had lost contact with the group when his relationship with the man sitting at his table crumbled.

“How have you been?”

His eyes lingered on the others face instead of answering the question. He didn’t want to answer the question that Jiyong already knew the answer to. Seunghyun was in the spotlight just as often as Jiyong was. He refused to believe that Jiyong didn’t keep as many tabs on him as he did the other. He still cared for the other more than he would have liked to.

Jiyong, realizing that he would receive no reply, turned his head away as he ran his hand through his aqua blue hair. It was shaggy, Seunghyuns favorite look. He wished the boy dabbled in blue more often. He shook his head of the thought.

“Do you want some tea?”

Seunghyun turned to prepare the beverages before waiting for a reply. He didn’t need one. He still knew Jiyong as though the two had spent every waking moment together. His heart constricted at the lie. People can change a lot in 3 years.

He lifted the kettle off of the stove as the whistle began to blow. Seunghyun was thankful that he was fixing himself a cup before a knock at his door interrupted him. He had to lay off of the coffee or an addiction would form. Tea was his substitute.

“Two sugars, right?”

The man kept his back to the other as a small ‘yes’ met his ears. He bit back a smile at remembering how the other drank his tea. Jiyong didn’t change much.

Grabbing one cup for each hand, he made his way to the table, handing Jiyong his as he sat comfortably in his chair.

Awkward silence settled between the two as Seunghyun waited for Jiyong to start. It wasn’t a social visit, it couldn’t have been. If it was then Jiyong, or the others, wouldn’t have stopped coming to visit him all those years ago.

The breakup left the other members in a tight spot that they didn’t handle to well. While Daesung tried to play the middle man, Taeyang had a firm alliance with his best friend and Seungri opted to pull out completely. He believed that if he couldn’t have a relationship with one, he wouldn’t have one with the other. The breakup reminded him of parents getting a divorce.

“Why are you here?” Seunghyun couldn’t take the silence anymore. Why was the man who left him broken at his house?

“We need to talk.”

“3 years later? I have nothing to say.”

Jiyong bit his lip. “Not about us, about BigBang.”

There was no BigBang anymore. Seunghyun had made that clear when he walked out of the studio for the last time. He hadn’t been to the studio since, opting to stay closer to the agencies actors rather the singers. He didn’t want to be roped into helping someone with their music. Music reminded him to much of the man in front of him. “There is no BigBang anymore.”

Jiyong clenched his eyes shut. He was holding back tears. The smaller man took two deep breaths to calm his nerves and steady his voice. He was having a hard time remembering that the man in front of him may look like a stern man, but he was actually still a child at heart. It didn’t matter how old he got, the interviewees still showed the childlike innocence Jiyong had fallen in love with.

“Hyung, the members, the young ones, want to release an album together.”

Seunghyun took a sip of his tea, the bitterness filled his mouth and he held back a grimace. He should have added more sugar. “Then tell them to form a unit and release an album.”

“They heard my songs, they want all of us to sing together again.”

“How nice, you got all the children in the divorce.”

Jiyong flinched at the jab and Seunghyun bit his tongue. His habit of not thinking before speaking was still a problem. That was supposed to be a thought.

“Hyunnie, it’s not like that.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Jiyongs shoulders slumped in defeat before squaring them up. A new look of determination found its way across his face and Seunghyun tensed. “Fine, I won’t call you that, but I don’t think that it’s fair for you to not participate just because you don’t like me.”

Seunghyun scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not participating because of you? Sure, you can think that. While that lingers in your mind, how about you remember how my so called family abandoned me when I needed them the most?”

“That’s not fair.”

“Who gives a what’s fair or not?”

“I care, we’re trying to make things right by you now.”

“Now? Selfish bastards. You didn’t think about me 3 years ago.”

“Yes we did. That’s all we thought about when everything fell apart.

“Sure.”

“Don’t write me off with your short responses. If anyone in this group is selfish it’s you.”

Seunghyun felt as though he had been slapped in the face. HE was the selfish one? His breathing became labored as his eyes began to water. Memories flashed before his eyes and for a moment, he hated himself for holding onto the small hope that Jiyong had some to apologize so that they could renew their relationship and more forways.

“You’re the one that walked out on us. What were we supposed to do, go after you?” Jiyong’s voice broke as he spoke the last half of the sentence.

“You should have.” His voice was a whisper. He turned his head away and played with the handle of his mug. If Jiyong had come after him then they would still be the loving couple they had been. They would still be happy.

“I regret it.” Jiyong's voice was firm.

Silence settled between the two and Seunghyun just wished he had stayed in bed, or slammed the door in the others face as soon as he saw him. His heart was hurting.

“Hyung, I didn’t come here to fight. I made songs, songs that would go really well for BigBang. We’ve been gone for 3 years but I think the fans would still like them.”

“I don’t rap anymore.”

Jiyong hung his head at the older man’s stubbornness. The man had always been stubborn. It was one of the things that attracted him. “You’re a liar. You may be acting but rapping is your passion.”

“I haven’t written in years.”

Seunghyun had a talent with words, one that was natural and inimitable. Jiyong had no doubt that as soon as the man put a pen to the paper words would flow as though the hiatus never occurred. His passion is what drew them together in the first place. “It comes natural to you.”

“I don’t know if I can be cordial with you.”

Jiyongs breath caught in his throat at the confession. They had a rough break up, it was to be expected. Sorrow filled his heart and he didn’t know what to do. “That’s okay, we’ll work on it while I try winning you back.”

Seunghyun felt a blush rise on his face at the declaration and rubbed his head between his hands, groaning in the process. He had been out of the music industry for so long, he didn’t know if he could handle the pressure of promotions and performing anymore. He didn't even know if he could handle the stress of Jiyong pursuing him for personal gains. “I really hate that I can’t hate you right now.”

Jiyong’s eyes softened at the others frustration. “We care too much about each other to hate.”

“ you.”

A bitter smile graced his lips. He had lost the man in front of him in a fight that shouldn’t have ever happened, a fight that grew beyond either of their control. Hopefully, if the man agreed, they could work on things between them while working on the album. It was the only way Jiyong knew how to force Seunghyun to stay in the same room with him for more than 30 minutes.

The members had heard his songs earlier that week when he had explained his plan and the members backed him up 100%. Though the others hadn’t been in touch, they still cared about the older member. They cared about Seunghyun more then he realized, they all did.

His mind drifted to a conversation he had with Taeyang moments before arriving at the man’s house. He knew he had to take the first steps to making things right. So he was, it just took him a while to build up the confidence to face his mistakes.

“Hyung.” He waited as Seunghyun lifted his head to meet his gaze. “For what it’s worth, I'm sorry about what happened between us. I should have held on.”

Seunghyun smiled, albeit a bittersweet one. “You should have. I’ll meet you in the studio tomorrow, tell the others not to be late.”

Jiyong's eyes widened as Seunghyun rose to his feet.

Their relationship would still be rocky, it always had been, but at least Jiyong would have a chance to make things right.

And he would.