Chapter 100: I Love You

The first time Seunghyun said I love you was a nightmare.

"There are at least seventeen ways this could have gone better. Literally. Like, I'm counting them right now, you moron."

Seunghyun winced as Jiyong rubbed a cotton swab over his brow. He hadn’t expected the event to go as it had but he really should have taken precautions. How was he supposed to know that things would fall when they were secured moments prior? He had set the room up perfectly, a perfectly romantic setting where they could spend their 100 days together.

Everyone who knew they were a couple helped him plan and set up. Why did things never go his way?

“Jiyonggie, that wasn’t supposed to happen.” He was winning, he didn’t care. He was upset that nothing had gone as planned. First his car hit a flat on their way to the rented out venue, then it rained, causing him to be drenched as he worked to change the tire. Today was supposed to be a day they both would remember but all Seunghun wanted to do was go home and forget the day even started,

“I know it wasn’t supposed to happen, turtle, but it did.”

Seunghyun hissed at the sting of the alcohol now rubbing against his bleeding knuckles. He had accidently scraped against the wall when things were falling apart. Shortly after they had eaten Jiyong was so over the night they had driven to Jiyongs apartment to bandage him up.

Seunghyun felt really bad. He pouted.

“I just wanted to make it special when I told you I loved you.”

Jiyong was frozen stiff at the confession. It was never returned but Seunghyun understood. As long as he was with the man he was satisfied.

__

The second time Seunghun had said I love you wasn’t as bad but it was kind of awkward.

They were having dinner with the members. It had been a while since they shared a meal together and Seunghun was more than willing to rent out a place to catch up. They had been so busy with their solo careers that they had neglected each other.

Seunghyun had a firm grip on Jiyong’s hand as they ate their food. He would squeeze Jiyong's hands at random moments during the conversation and his heart would flutter when Jiyong squeezed in return.

Jiyong didn’t know it, but it was their 8 month anniversary. Seunghyun was sentimental, he kept track of these things. He knew Jiyong was a little bit of a romantic but Jiyong was less vocal about his feelings. Seunghyun was okay with that.

When Seunghyun had one too many glasses of wine, he leaned over to give Jiyong a small kiss on the cheek before whispering a small ‘I love you’ into the others ear.

Jiyong stiffened at the confession and released the hand in his own. Seunghyun ignored the teasing of the others and settled for resting his hand on Jiyongs thigh.  After 8 months it hurt not to hear the words he was beginning to long for, but it was okay.

He knew Jiyong loved him, he just wouldn’t say it.

--

The third time Seunghyun said it was the last time he would ever say it.

It was their one year anniversary and Seunghyun had been jumped as soon as “Happy Aniversary” left Jiyong's lips. He hadn’t had time to answer as lips were smashed aggressively onto his own and he was pushed back into his bedroom. Clothes were shed along the way and by the time the bed was reached skin was on skin completely.

He allowed Jiyong to have control as Jiyong lowered his kisses down his chest and he let out a loud moan as Jiyong wasted no time in engulfing his stiff member in his wet cavern. Seunghyun grabbed Jiyong’s hair as the head bobbed up and down in an enticing manner, pulling Seunghun closer to the edge as his eyes stayed focused on how he disappeared and reappeared behind plump lips.

The sight was beautiful.

Feeling Seunghyun coming closer to an end, Jiyong removed his lips and positioned himself above him. Slowly, he lowered himself completely, laying on Seunghyuns chest to adjust as he rolled his hips, groaning as he slowly kissed Seunghyun.

When he was no longer in any form of pain, the pleasure of being filled covering it up, he sat up. He kept his hands laced with Seunghyun as he rocked. Seunghyun could do nothing but moan at the sight which only go better as Jiyong lifted before slamming back down.

The moans and groans were music to his ears and Seunghyun almost regretted not taking control. He wouldn’t though. He knew that, even though it was their anniversary, Jiyong was probably using him as a means to relieve his ual frustrations as he so often did.

Jiyong threw his head back and palmed his own member, himself in time with each . Seunghyuns hands gripped his hips to help the rhythm as the s became sporadic. The sight was beautiful. Jiyong's face was flush as he leaned forward, catching Seunghyuns mouth in a sloppy kiss as he moan.

The younger man was a vixen during these times. Seunghyun would burn the image of a sultry Jiyong in his mind and he vowed to never forget it.

A few more s was all it took for Jiyong to release his load, his hips keeping their motion as he pulled Seunghyuns own release shortly after.

They lay, tangled in eachothers arms in the afterglow that they had created.

It was now or never, Seunghyun knew that. If he didn’t get the response that he wanted from Jiyong then he wasn’t ever going to get it.

“Jiyong, I love you.”

It didn’t register through Jiyongs clouded mind but when the words finally broke through Seunghyun felt his eyes sting with tears. It had been a year, why couldn’t Jiyong say it?

Did the man not love him?

Gently pushing the smaller man off of himself, Seunghyun stood from his bed. He grabbed a fresh pair of clothes from his dresser and kept his back to the other as he moved. He didn’t want Jiyong to see the tears he knew would fall any minute.

He should have given up hope the first time he said it.

“I’m going to take a shower.”

Seunghyun cried. He bit his arm to hold back the sound as he sat on the floor of the tub. Shower water rained from above him but Seunghyun just sat. His heart was breaking but he couldn’t stop the pain. He knew Jiyong loved him but he didn’t understand why the other couldn’t say it.

Did the man not really love him?

--

The first time Jiyong heard ‘I love you,’ he was surprised.

The night had been terrible, the worst night of his life. After Seunghyun had to change the tire in the pouring rain Jiyong wanted nothing more than to take Seunghyun home and warm him up so he didn’t get sick. Seunghun was amid to finish the night on a positive note.

After only 100 days the last thing he expected was to be told the words that head a heavier meaning then ‘like.’ Sure, Jiyong loved the man, he really did, but he thought that it was to soon to actually share such words.

It should have been expected, Seunghyun had been in cahoots with everyone else to plan the date that ended in total disaster. He thought that if Seunghyun had really planned on telling him that night then he would postpone it until they had an actual successful date.

Either way, he thought he had more time to mentally prepare himself.

He was wrong.

He had frozen at the words, not ready to return them yet. It was okay though, he still had time. Seunghyun knew he loved him, he just couldn’t say it yet.

-

The second time Jiyong heard ‘I love you’ was more awkward than the first one.

They had been drinking with the members and he knew Seunghyun was passed the point of intoxication. He kept an eye on the other and refused to release the hand of his lover incase he fell from his seat in his drunken state.  

It was their 8 month anniversary.

He hadn’t said anything to Seunghyun about it but he counted the months just like he knew Seunghyun was. He knew his lover probably thought he wasn’t keeping track of it but he was. He was a romantic in that way, just like Seunghyun was sentimental.

He froze as an unexpected pair of lips connected with his cheek and a small ‘I love you’ was whispered in his ear. Jiyong ignored the teasings from s as he let go of Seunghyuns hand to put his arm around Seunghyun’s shoulder as the man swayed in his chair to much.

Jiyong had thought the man was going to fall but he gripped Jiyongs thigh as though he hadn’t almost fell. With the amount of alcohol he had consumed, he probably didn’t realize it.

He watched in silence as Seunghyun neglected to speak to him for the rest of the night. He knew Seunghyun was expecting to hear the words returned and Jiyong had fully intended on responding. After Seunghyuns head fell forward onto the table in his drunken state, Jiyong knew he had missed his chance.  

--

The third time Seunghyun had said I love you was full of regret.

They had been together for a year, a full year. He had jumped Seunghyun as soon as ‘happy aniversary’ left his lips in order to pleasure the man as the man often pleasured him.

Jiyongs motions were a little more aggressive than he had originally intended but it was because he was shy to take control of their . More than anything he wanted to make Seunghyun feel good on a day about them.

When they were done, and Seunghyun was panting just as hard as he was, he collapsed onto the firm chest beneath him.

He knew something was said in his ear, he could feel the tickle of breath, but his mind was to muddled to care about anything but the warmth radiating beneath him as he began to doze off in the comfort of his lover's arms.

It wasn’t until he was pushed from the warmth that the haze began to clear and the words didn’t register until the sound of a shower started.

He messed up, he knew he had messed up.

After being with Seunghyun for so long he knew exactly what the older man was doing. He was in the bathroom, crying about words that Jiyong always failed to say.

Jiyong wouldn’t be surprised if Jiyong was beginning to question his feelings.

Slowly getting out of bed, he made way to the bathroom door and pressed his ear against the wood. His early expectations had been right. He could hear the muffled cries coming through the door and it broke Jiyong’s heart to know he was the cause.

He would have knocked before entering but he knew Seunghyun would lie and say he was okay. Quietly, he opened the door and closed it behind him. Seunghyun was crouched behind the shower curtain.

Bracing himself for the sight he would see, Jiyong pulled back the curtain. His heart broke as watery eyes looked up at him and he wanted nothing more than to crawl in a hole and die for what he put this man through.

Stepping foot into the tub, he sat in front of Seunghyun. The water fell on them both and he was struck with inspiration for the MADE Series video they were planning on shooting next month.  

Rain and love seemed to go hand in hand.

“Seunghyun, you left before I could reply.”

Seunghyun sniffed and wiped at his tears, though the water just replaced the tears. He looked hopeful, oh so hopeful.

Kissing him on the nose, Jiyong sent him a small smile.

“I love you too. I love you.”

--

Seunghyun continued to say ‘I love you,’ and Jiyong never missed a chance to say ‘I love you too’ again.  

And thus concludes 100 Ways to Say I love you. It's kind of bittersweet, knowing that I'm done with this.

Thank you guys, each one who has read, commented, subscribed, and upvoted. I wouldn't have been able to finish this if not for the constant support.

As a Gift to you all, I've decided to start another drabble story. I'm currently on the look out for one now so if any of you have any requests then feel free to share.

Until next time, Adios~