Chapter 67

When she got back from the call, I saw a smile on her face. Looks like they already made up. Siyempre, I was mentally judging things from my perspective. I couldn’t help it. I was still very much-interested kung ano mang nangyayari sa buhay niya, It’s just that’ I don’t plan to meddle anymore. I wasn’t exactly sure if I still played the bestfriend role after all of the things that happened. I wasn’t sure. I mean, we were bestfriends for a long time. We still were when we dated but what comes after that? After things didn’t work out between us. After she broke up with me and after she found someone new? Saan ko ba ilalagay ang sarili ko? I still wasn’t sure.Kaya nga, I’m here, trying to get by ng ako lang.

“Uwi na ako in a bit guys, papunta na si Joohyun dito.” She said andSolar gave me the look. We were mentally talking and I understood what she meant when she looked at me. Pigilan mo. Why though? It’s not like I can do that. If anything, I don’t think I can ask favors from her. We weren’t like how we used to be. She favors someone else now, at hindi ako yun. Funny no? How I got so used to her dropping everything for me everytime whenever I needed her. She would ditch classes for me, she would ditch her parents for me, she would ditch our friends for me and she would prioritize me everytime. Funny how I didn’t realize what she was doing for me back then.

Maybe it’s true, you only truly realize someone’s worth kapag hindi na ikaw yung priority. I momentarily forgot how easy it is for anyone to like and love Lisa. If she acted the way she did with someone else, aside sakin, without a doubt, they’re going to end up liking her. As much as I hate the fact na sila na ni Joohyun ngayon, I can’t blame Joohyun. She saw Lisa’s worth. Kaya nga siguro she chose her over Seulgi. Imagine ending a four year relationship with someone you said you loved because someone showed you something better.

Hindi nga siguro talaga nasusukat ang pagmamahal sa naging tagal ng relasyon niyo. It could end abruptly without a warning. You might not even see it coming kasi once the heart decides what it wants, mahirap ng baguhin. It was that time when Joohyun begged me not to make her give Lisa up. Maybe mahal niya na. Maybe they’re good for each other. Maybe she can treat Lisa better than I did. Si Lisa nalang siguro ang makakapag sabi nun. But I can tell, Lisa feels the same for her. Maybe it’s already love.  Baka mahal na nila ang isa’t isa. Either way, I’m out of the picture. It was obvious the moment Lisa walked back in with a smile on her face. Okay na sila. How I wish, I was still the person that put a smile on her face.

Nakaka miss din pala kahit na anong move on ko. I had lots of regrets eh. Ayokong umasa na isang araw sana mauntog siya at magbago ang isip niya tapos marerealize niya, ako parin pala. Lisa might seem like the bad guy sa story na to, because it seemed like inagaw niya si Joohyun kay Seulgi at iniwan ang bestfriend niya at ang ex niya that she said she still loves back then. May mali oo, I’m not going to say she’s completely innocent sa mga nangyari kasi pare-pareho naman kaming hindi inosente dito. But maybe I understand why she did it.

Maybe it’s because she kept her feelings for me for wayyyy too long before pa kami magka-aminan back then. Maybe because she spent so much time loving me from afar without asking anything in return, maybe it’s because she gave everything to me and all I thought was myself back then. I never saw how much she was willing to sacrifice for me. She didn’t date a whole lot. That’s a fact. It was because she was always with me. It was because she always ends up choosing me above everything else. Her bestfriend. And I always chose guys over her. I chose to date. What I did for her was nothing compared with what she did for me. It was nothing. Kaya nga siguro it’s taking me time to forget her. How do you even forget someone who did nothing but love you? You don’t.

I shook my head kay Solar subtly when she was signalling me to tell Lisa na wag munang umuwi. I can’t do that eh. I didn’t have the power to make her do the things I want na. Hell, I couldn’t even get milk icecream from her the way she used to when things were still okay between us. I haven’t had it ever since. I mean, of course, I’ve had icecream. But it was never my favourite type. I couldn’t. Because she would always get me one. I couldn’t grasp the fact na I’d really be getting it on my own na just to mend my heart because it will never be the same again. I will never be the same after Lisa. I could be the better version of myself but never like how I was with the love of my life.

Alam niyo yung ganong feeling? Yung okay ka nanaman na somehow pero there’s still a part of you that will remain broken? Unless the person comes back to you, it will remain that way and you don’t know if you’ll get over the fact na may iba na talaga. Hindi na ikaw, hindi na kayo, hindi na talaga katulad ng dati.

“Mamaya kana umuwi! Eto naman! Ngayon lang ulit tayo nagkita eh!” Sabi ni Solar na giniguilt trip si Lisa. “Babawi naman ako, I just need to go home.” Sabi niya naman with a smile on her face padin. Yeah, they’re definitely okay na. I could see it in her eyes. It wasn’t the same smile she ga