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Chapter 61

After namin magusap ni Joohyun at maging okay, we've decided to na bumalik narin sa friends namin. Afterall, nagpunta kami dito ng magkakasama. Parepareho naming hindi alam kung kailan pa mauulit yung ganitong get together.

Nung makabalik kami, everything seemed to be back to normal na, pero this time wala ng hawak na guitara si Chaeng. Tamang sound trip nalang sa playlist ni Wannie while drinking ang peg.

"Guys, sorry kanina. It was foolish." Tahimik na sinabi ni Joohyun but everyone knew kung kanino naman talaga siya nagsosorry. "Let's just enjoy the night. Hindi tayo nakapag graduation party so I guess, ito na yun." Sabi naman ni Jennie and everyone agreed.

Di ko man nacontrol ang nangyari kanina, I'm lucky I'm surrounded with people who knew how to deal with things better. Because if it were up to me, tahimik lang siguro ako buong gabi with Joohyun. But no, the two women that were important to me handled things like adults at ako naman, nakikiramdam lang. Trying my best para hindi na maulit ang nangyari kanina.

Nakakainis din madalas no? Kasi sa isip mo, kaya mong gawin ang mga bagay na dapat. Pero kapag andiyan na, parang hinangin nalang lahat ng napagtanto mo. Madalas, nakakapag salita tayo ng tapos at ang ending, hindi pala natin kayang panindigan.

It wasn't even intentional when I found myself looking at Jennie. These eyes had a mind of its own and all of a sudden, I wasnt in control anymore. Or... maybe I was, in a way. Just too stupid to admit. I guess.

Naiinis ako sa sarili ko because I can't help it at hindi na dapat. I've got to learn how to be okay because ako ang may gusto nito. I'm the one who decided to stop. I'm the one who left. It won't be fair to Jennie or Joohyun if magkakaganito nanaman ako.

Bakit ba kasi ang hilig nating gawing kumplikado ang mga bagay na kung tutuusin eh simple lang naman? It's always just a matter of yes's and nos. Oo o hinde, at tama ba o mali. There's never an in between. Kaya nagiging complicated kasi, tayo ang hindi sigurado and it's never about the circumstances. I guess, we're just naturally stubborn sa mga nararamdaman natin. Humans are complicated. That's just a fact.

Sabi nila,humans are the smartest living creatures to exist. Pero bakit pag dating sa love,we become fools? Hindi ko rin alam eh. It still remains a mystery to me. Isip kasi tayo ng isip ng mga bagay na makakabuti para satin, pero ang ending, hanggang isip lang naman. Pag dating sa actions, don't bother, kasi most of the time naman, yung plinano mo sa isip mo, hindi mo rin naman nagagawa. Maybe Idiocracy is becoming a real thing.

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I looked at the girl sitting next to me and wondered kung anong nagawa ko to deserve s