Chapter 28

It’s been three months since Jennie and I broke up. Nag sisimula palang kami mag intern nung time na yon at ngayong complete na ang hours naming sa internship, isa lang ang ibig sabihin nito. Balik school na ulit on a regular basis to complete the subjects left before graduation. Ibig sabihin din nito, babalik na ulit ako sa dorm.

Sa three months na yun, si Joohyun lang ang nakakausap ko dahil siya ang pinaka sensible sa aming magkakaibigan. Gusto ko man makipag kita with the rest, ayaw ko ng natatanong ako ng kahit ano tungkol sayo. Ayoko ng napapag usapan ka. Kasi sa tuwing maririnig ko ang pangalan mo, pakiramdam ko bumabalik lang lahat. Sa tuwing tatanungin nila kung okay lang ako, wala akong ibang magiging sagot kundi hindi ko alam.

Alam ko naman concerned sila sakin. Ewan ko ba, baka dahil din sa pride. I don’t like it when people feel sorry for me. Oo, nasaktan ako, Oo, nakipag break ako, pero it doesn’t mean hindi ko na kayang bumangon ulit. It will take time pero I’m working on it. Sa tingin ko ngayon, ayoko muna talaga ng anything na may connection sa love.

I don’t think I can date anyone just yet. I don’t even know kung babalik pa kami ni Jennie sa dati. If we’re going to be friends again, or if magkakabalikan kami ulit. There’s so much uncertainty saming dalawa pati narin sa sarili ko. One thing’s for sure though, konting konti nalang and then all of us will leave this place. This school where we met our lifelong friends.

I’ve been thinking about life after college lately. My dad suggested that I try and work overseas for a change of scenery and for me to live comfortably without the judgement of other people, aka some of our relatives.I know my dad is just protecting me, pero I don’t think it’ll make a difference kung umalis man ako, kahit saan naman these days hindi na mawawala ang mga ganung klaseng tao.

But that doesn’t mean hindi ko cinoconsider mag move overseas. It’s one of the options na nandiyan. Naisip ko rin if I worked overseas, madali kong mapapatayuan ng bahay yung lupa na nainherit ko. If I stay here naman, I get to hang out with my friends parin and eventually with Jennie kung sakaling okay na ko, at okay na kami if ever.

Pero parang mas mahihirapan akong mag move on kung mag-sstay ako dito sa pilipinas. Bahala na. Meron pa namang time para mag decide. For now, iniisip ko pa yung pag balik ko sa dorm naming ni Jisoo. Bukas, after ko mag papirma ng clearance sa superior ko, babalik narin ako sa dorm at magsisimula ng school life ulit.

Sa tatlong buwan na pag iintern, may narealize ako. Ayoko palang mag trabaho sa studio talaga. Bukod sa sobrang daming ginagawa, nalaman kong underpaid lahat ng part ng production staff. Natuwa man ako sa allowance na nakuha ko, in reality, sobrang kulang nito if I were to work there full time.

Adulting 101. Sobrang hirap pala talaga. Hindi pa man ako nakaka graduate, napaka hirap palang mag isip talaga ng para sa future mo lalo na pag alam mong malapit lapit ng dumating ang time na yun. It’s not like I’d struggle financially because my parents are there pero siguro it’s the independency and responsibility that comes with it.

Yung feeling na magtatrabaho kana, you’re going to start living your life as an adult, papasok ang government contribution mo, tax contribution, healthcare and so on na hindi mo naman iniintindi nung nag aaral kapa.

Sabi ng daddy ko, it’s better to settle these things early before kappa magkaroon ng actual work para kapag hired kana, you wont have to go through the trouble of going to different government offices para lang makapag obtain ng papers na hinahanap ng companies from you. I plan to do all of that at least bago mag start maghanap ng work para isang lakaran nalang. For now, since its’s balik school, balik tambay nalang din. I don’t know kung tatambay ako ng parking though but I surely missed it.

Three months din akong hindi napapad-pad sa area na yun whenever I report to school kapag Friday, sa kabilang entrance ako dumadaan and then after reporting, aalis na rin agad ako. Third trimester na ng school year, 2 subjects nalang ang natitira sakin sa flowchart ko and then makaka graduate nako.

Naalala ko, pareho kami ng subjects na itatake ni Jennie. Odds are, magiging blockmates kami in those subjects. I don’t think kasi na may ibang class pang mag oopen para sa subjects na yon. Usually, isang class lang talaga kapag graduating kana and most of the time, less than fifteen lang kayo sa class nay un kaya nag mumukhang tutorial class. It also means lalong liliit ang mundo naming dalawa ni Jennie. It’s inevitable and eventually, I’d have to interact with her.

I never moved on. That’s the truth. Sa loob ng three months na lumayo ako, I felt miserable. Pero syempre, ako lang naman nakaka alam nun aside from Joohyun na hindi naman din ako pinilit mag open up. Minsan nakaka usap ko si Tzuyu per