AN: Medyo inayos ko lang yung construction ng chapter na to. Ang pangit kasi sorry. Updated na. Chaprer 38 will be published this afternoon.

Chapter 37

“Hyun? Bakit ka umiiyak?” tanong sakin ni Seulgi. All of a sudden, napahawak nalang ako kay Lisa. We aren’t even done talking about it tapos out of the blue biglang nandito na si Seulgi. She’s not supposed to be here pa. Not in another hour. . I couldn’t answer. Feeling ko I’m all caught up in between everything.

Bakit ba kasi naisip ko pang dito umiyak?  I’m not usually one to just cry. Lalo na in public kung saan kahit sino, pwedeng makakita sakin. Now na I’ve almost poured my heart out kay Lisa, I couldn’t stop crying. I almost said it. I can’t believe I almost did. Ano ba tong ginagawa ko? God, this is so stupid.  Joohyun why are you acting like this?  This isn’t you. . . .

“I’ll take care of it.” Lisa sabi ni Lisa at huminga ng malalim “No, please Lisa. Please, kasalanan ko to.” I pleaded desperately, almost faintly para hindi marinig ni Seulgi. I can’t let her be responsible for everything when pareho naming ginawa. Lalo na’t, ako naman talaga ang nag simula nito. I initiated that ing kiss.

“Seulgi, bilhan mo ng pain killer si Joohyun, iyak ng iyak dito masakit daw puson niya.” Sabi ni Lisa. Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ba ako o mamamatay sa sobrang kaba. Putang ina. Nasa ganitong sitwasyon na nga kami, nagawa pa ni Lisa mag come up ng ganong excuse. “Hala, Hyunnie bakit di mo ko tinext! Meron ako sa bag!” Sabi naman ni Seulgi, immediately going through her things para hanapin ang pain killers.

“Sorry, sobrang sakit lang talaga, I couldn’t think.” Sabi ko naman. Sinakyan ko na ang sinabi ni Lisa, but the truth is, wala naman talaga akong period today. For some reason, Seul seem to believe it. I need more time, I need to buy more time, I’m not ready. I don’t know kung kelan ko kayang sabihin kay Seulgi.  I saw Lisa standing sa harap naming ni Seul, looking nervous as hell. I couldn’t blame her. Ako rin naman. I hate lying. I didn’t want to say I don’t have a choice because I do, pero it’s not easy to choose between the options that we have now.

Ako na nga itong naglagay sakanya sa gantong sitwasyon, siya pa tong willing to lose a friend to save Seulgi and I’s relationship. Truth is, I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do. She loses a friend and possibly the chance para sakanila ni Jennie, and ako? What do I lose? Makakalusot ako just like that?

Truth is, I love Seulgi. Pero I couldn’t help but feel unhappy sa mga nangyayari samin lately. There’s no future to look forward to, no definite plans, para kaming parehong nangangapa sa dilim. Come what may, kung anong mangyayari the next day, bahala na, that’s why I always end up planning everything pag dating sa mga lakad naming and mga to do’s and I was getting tired of it of everything.

What the hell am I even talking about? Mahal ko, pero hindi ako masaya. Is that even an excuse? Anong ginawa ko? I kissed someone else because of my own frustrations. Worse