Chapter 59

"Uy hala, what happened?" Tanong ni Chaeng after makita ng lahat how Joohyun walked out and how Lisa ran after her. "Baby, I love you pero very wrong yung song choice mo." Sabi naman ni Jisoo. "Eh favorite song ko kaya yon saka it fits the whole scenery kaya!" Sabi naman ni Chaeng, still oblivious sa nangyari.

"Chipmunk, pano ka nakagraduate?" Tanong naman ni Wannie. "Hey!" Pagsagot ni Chaeng and then realization hit her. "Ayy, oh . Sorry. Hala, it wasn't intentional, promise, Jen sorry." Sabi naman ni Chaeng.

"Ok lang baliw. It's not your fault." Sabi ko naman and gave her a small smile. "You okay?" Tanong ni Chahee. "Yeah, of course. Don't worry about it, I can handle myself." Sabi ko naman and Chahee gave me a concerned look.

The truth is, Chahee is a good person, friendly, sort of flirty and entertaining but she makes me feel like sobrang fragile ko, to think na it wasn't that long yet since we've met. I don't know if hindi lang ako sanay ng ganun but how she treats me make me feel like I couldn't stand on my own.

Maybe my friends had something to do with it, I don't know for sure but she's been tailing me almost the entire day and I felt a little smothered by it. Parang hindi ako makahinga, when all I want is to just be left alone. Why do people think na kailangan ko ng certain someone to fill whatever it is that they think na kulang sakin?

I've been dealing with everything perfectly fine. I don't need a quick replacement just to feel better about myself because the truth is, I won't. Hindi ko kaya mang gamit ng ibang tao para lang sumaya ako.

I still don't know how to tell Chahee to stop whatever it is that she plans to do, kasi ayoko din naman maging feeler, baka naman kasi ganun lang talaga siya and she's just being friendly. Nothing more.

This entire day almost consumed me alive. Ang hirap pala ng ganito. Yung tipong you're trying to be better pero there's always something that draws you back to the person you're trying to move on from.

Almost buong araw kaming nagkakatinginan ni Lisa and the thing is, I wasn't even doing it intentionally. Parang my eyes had its own mind and napapatingin ako sakanya madalas and then I would see her looking back at me and I would panic internally and look away.

I don't know if it's because we had so many memories sa lugar na to. We went here often whenever may time or whenever may vacation kasi para kaming may sariling mundo sa lugar na to and Kuya Mon took care of us and sa lahat ng kailangan namin.

This place became our getaway place kapag ayaw namin sa Manila. The most memorable one was nung nagpunta kami dito nung highschool students palang kami. Class outing talaga yun pero ang ending, apat lang naman kami natuloy. Si Solar, si Byul, ako at si Lisa.

Parang naging couples outing except that, hindi naman kami girlfriends ni Lisa that time. We were bestfriends oblivious to each others feelings. I was attracted but I didn't put much thought to it. All I know is, she's an important part of my life. Still is. It's just that, now, she's with someone else and I obviously had my chance with her. Yun nga lang, it turned out as a failed attempt.

I royally screwed that part.-- Unintenionally. Kahit naman in the latter events, it was her who chose to give up, sakin din naman kasi talaga nagsimula ang lahat. I played a part as to how Lisa and I's relationship fell apart and I'm actually growing tired of people feeling sorry for me because it wasn't entirely Lisa's fault.

Nasaktan man ako, nasaktan ko din siya. It was never a one way street. We both did things that affected our relationship as friends, as girlfriends, and as lifetime partners. I guess hindi mo talaga kontrolado and mga mangyayari sa future.

I thought this day will serve as a trial para sakin. It will test me kung hanggang saan ko kaya maging okay and I did well for the most part of it. I actually did great kahit na there are times na nagkakatinginan kami ni Lisa, I didn't cry anymore.

I actually didn't feel like crying, surprisingly. Pero I still felt na may malaking part na nawala sakin and that is her. I don't think naman na basta basta nalang mawawala yung feelings ko sakanya in a blink of an eye.

It's unrealistic to assu