“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this,” you apologized to the man your friend Jae In had tried setting you up with.

It’s been three months, since your 2 years of love with Yong Guk had ended. Everyday, you tried hard to move on, but your heart just keeps scaring you along with that mind of yours. 

What if the next man you meet and fall in love with again, betrays you once more? You were afraid to love, but you yearned for the butterflies ticking your stomach. Again, you just wanted to be happy.

-Flashback-

“Let’s end our love,” Yong Guk tells you quietly. “E-e-eh?” You were shocked at his sudden announcement. “Let’s break up,” he repeated, but louder. “Why?” You didn’t understand, as you were both very in love.

Yeah, you two had arguments, but it’s normal for couples to argue. Not every relationship is perfect, and you knew that well.

“Yong Guk-ah,” you called to him, but Yong Guk stands up from the table you both sat, and looks up ahead. “I’ve been seeing someone else,” he spat out.

Right then and there, you felt like thousands of knives had just stabbed you literally in the gut. 

“Gukkie!” His close childhood girl friend, who you never minded, soon called over to him. You turned your head to face her, and she gave you a quick smile. “Hey!” She waved at you too, and you turned back to face your ex-boyfriend.

“Don’t tell me the girl is…Sooya,” you reached out to hold Yong Guk’s hand. “It is, and I’ve gotten her pregnant,” he answered without facing you, and your breath became heavy, when Yong Guk pulled away from your touch.

Sooya was slowly making her way towards you both, and you couldn’t bare to look at her in the eyes. She was smiling, and not even a single guilt of look was printed on her face. You loved her like a sister, and accepted her closeness with Yong Guk. 

“When was this?” You asked, trying not to cry. “A few months back, when I went out drinking with the boys. I thought she was you that night, and yeah…” Yong Guk’s voice trailed off, and your right hand came to cover your mouth.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Sooya finally reached to where you and Yong Guk were, and you couldn’t stand it anymore. “Congratulations,” you choked on the word, as you grabbed your purse and ran out of the smoothie shop.

-end of flashback-

Tears were forming on your eyes again, and you wiped them away hastily. Yong Guk was probably living the perfect married life now, as you’re here trying to move on. Broken hearted from those three words he had always told you, you hated yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Guk-ah…” your voice was trailing off, as you were knocking at his front door. “Yong Guk!” You pounded on the door with fierce, as you raised your voice louder. “Yong Guk-ssi!” You kicked the door this time. ”Who is-what are you doing here?” Yong Guk was surprised at your sudden appearance. 

Ever since the long three months of no contact, Yong Guk thought you had moved on and cheerfully laughed with another man. Yet, you’re finally in front of his porch, andvery drunk.

“Guk-ah…hahaha,” your breath was the real stench of alcohol, and Yong Guk held your wobbly body. “How much did you have to drink?” He asked, whilst placing you down next to the door. “Uhmm….” you started to raised your hands up, and counted.

“I think 12…” you answered, but held up seven fingers. “Aish…” Yong Guk rolled his eyes at you, and started to search for your cellphone. “Hahaha! Stop it. That tickles,” you gave out a laugh, and Yong Guk finally pulls out your white cellphone.

When he clicked on the home button for the screen to light up, it showed the password to unlock. Thinking about the same password you always had, he typed it down. A tiny smile spread across his face, as his birthday was still the password to your phone.

“What’s so funny?” You asked, as your head kept falling. “Nothing,” he remotely answered with an attitude, and dials up Jae In’s number. “Are you calling for In-ssi? Well, she’s in Daegu!” You queried, and spat out the answer together.

“Fine then, I’ll just call for someone else to pick you up,” Yong Guk replies, and you snatched your cellphone back from. “Stop it,” you tell him, but Yong Guk tries to steal your phone back. “I said, stop it!” You yelled, and soon enough, yourself started to cry.

“Don’t cry,” his deep voice spoke up, but your sniffles were already choking you. “Why? Why did you stop? When? Was I not…good enough? Love…why?” Your question was all over the place, and Yong Guk face palmed himself for a sec.

“You’re drunk and tired. We need to take you home,” he calmly says, but you shook your head and started to wail louder. “Why? Why did you stop loving me?!” You asked again. “I…I…I’m tired,” Yong Guk stuttered, and your hands then grabbed hold onto the collar shirt of his.

“Sooya is here, isn’t she? Is this why you’re not telling me anything? Is it because I’m too loud?” You wanted to know. “I have no time for this, okay? We’ve broken up already, now leave me alone,” he sounded irritated and angry. 

You started to cry again, as you didn’t want 2 years of your love to go to waste.

“Two years, Yong Guk. TWO GOD DAMN YEARS! Why?” You raised your voice louder this time. “Because…because…you’re not Sooya!” Yong Guk yelled back, and again, you felt the knives stabbing your guts. “No…No…NO! You’re lying! It isn’t true! Please, Yong Guk, don’t lie to me. No more lies, please! Take me back. I can’t live without you! You love me!” You cried, as you held onto Yong Guk’s shirt tighter.

He was fighting against you, as he tried to pull your hands off of him. Yong Guk hated it when you cry, and he knew had hurt you badly, but it was a choice.

Yong Guk either had to let you go, or he his father was going to disown him.Knowing that Yong Guk’s mother isn’t in the greatest condition either, as she’s ill and sleeping at the hospital, Yong Guk’s father pressured him. Threatened him, more likely.

He had to break up with you, because you weren’t like the high class women his father adored. You were the poor woman working at two jobs, trying to pay for school. Yong Guk’s father loathed you, and was afraid that you were just dating Yong Guk for the money.

Therefore, he lied about Sooya’s pregnancy, so you’d leave him alone for good. However, you’re here crying for him to return.

“Let me go!” Yong Guk finally raised his voice at you, and you fell to the side hitting your head. “You’re so cruel. So heartless. I wish that…Himchan never existed to have me meet you. I wish that everything was just a dream. You, our memories, and our love,” your crying had cleared out your drunkard self, and you were a broken mess again.

“Look, I have a family now, so please leave,” his voice turned calm again, and you chuckled at the word family. “I get it, Yong Guk. I’ll leave and never have you see me again,” you replied, and slowly got up from the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was 3:37 a.m. and you hell, you weren’t asleep yet. A lot were running through your mind, as your grandparents came across after thinking about Yong Guk. Maybe, just maybe, if you were gone, then no one would worry anymore.

Your grandparents wouldn’t have to work so hard to help pay for school. Jae In wouldn’t have to look after you, and make sure that you’re happy with another man. Your love with Yong Guk wouldn’t exist again, and everyone will be grateful. 

You sat up in bed, as you pulled out a bottle of pills from your drawer. Gulping in fear that you may not see anyone again, you then shrugged it off completely. You would be one less to worry about.

With that running to your mind, you then swallowed up the pills selfishly.

©kpopchipmunkparody OKAY! LAST ANGST FOR REAL! LOL. I PROMISE (?) Hahaha. It’s just, I had this one coming in my head. I HAD to write it out. IT WAS A MUST, before bed and before I started writing fluff. kekeke. Yong Guk… aish! >:\ LET’S BEAT HIM UP, YEAH?! lmao. okies, I’ll start up on the requests tomorrow. :) REQUEST AWAY, IF U HAVENT! XDD