*THIS IS FILLER. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ IT THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO*

*It may get darker then many are used to with this fic.Don't worry. It will become fluffy again next chapter*

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daniel sat at the bar of a night club, swirling a drink around in the small glass. He didn’t really want to be there but he didn’t know where else to go. His feet just seemed to carry him there. Even if he were in a strange city Daniel had the amazing ability to find a club to hide himself away in the crowds of people so broken and unhappy like himself. Daniel knows that he has been dealing with self-loathing for years and he figured that was the thing that made him such a good writer, but it also the thing that slowly unstitching his sanity from himself. The only things holding him together were his pain, his family and the ability to slip in and out of character on a whim. He wasn’t always like this. In fact Daniel could remember his few days of happiness so well it hung on him like a nightmare. They were a reminder of what he had and how he will never have it again.

At the time he had just moved out to New York, a foolishly optimistic young man who had dreams of becoming a famous author. A friend who moved out with him had connections to a well-known club and for congratulating Daniel for getting a deal with a publishing company; he brought him out for a night on the town. Daniel nervously kept fidgeting with his shirt as he stood against the wall watching his friend effortlessly weave in and out of crowds of people bumping and grinding against each other. There were places like this back in LA, but there was something much more gritty and primal about this club that had people acting like wild animals. He felt so awkward and out of place that Daniel went to go find his friend to tell him that he was going to leave and head back to his shoebox sized apartment. He didn’t know what he was going to do when he got there; he was most likely just going to watch some bad movies from the 80’s that he would laugh about but secretly binge watch on another failed attempt to act like a normal person his age.

Daniel was shoved and jostled around the crowd as the music pumped through his veins and smoke filled his lungs. Everything was so over whelming for Daniel in that moment that he wanted to collapse and let the dance floor swallow him whole. That was until the people parted like Red Sea and standing in the flashing white and red lights was an angel that was addicted to , drugs and rock’n’roll. Her eyes locked on Daniel like a predator out for their next meal. Daniel didn’t know it then but she was going to be his greatest mistake. She swayed her way to Daniel, trapping him in her web and dragging his to Hell and back. Her name was Aruem and just like her name suggested she was beautiful. She was even more beautiful in the blinding morning light as she rolled over in his bed, wrapping the white bed sheets around her body. Everything about Aruem was natural and deadly.

It only took her six months to have him madly in love with her. He learned Korean for her. He would ignore his family to spend time with her. Everything about her was addicting in the worst way possible. And after six months, she sashayed out of his life just as easily as she entered it. With no reason and with no warning she left him alone with the heart break that came with a whirlwind romance. Daniel hid himself away from the world, pouring his heart out into his best seller book ‘Coming From Me.” It was from his heartbreak that came his greatest success so Daniel swore off love and everything that had to do with it. He would play with women the same way he was played with in hope that one day Aruem would feel his pain. The last person he ever wanted to see get hurt was his baby sister who was a shining beacon of hope in the disgusting world he lived in. And now she was going to be played by a man who had the potential to break her and ruin her.

“Hey.” A woman said, shaking Daniel from his thoughts. Standing beside him was a young woman who was trying to act much more seductive than she actually was. Her hair was long and black and her make-up was thick as to compensate for the night club environment. Daniel could sense how she craved him and how she wanted to be the one to catch his handsome man.

“Hello.” Daniel gave his best smile that masked the empty human standing in front of his woman. He would smile, say a joke, she would laugh, they would dance until their minds and bodies became numb and then disappear into the night together where he would poison her and then leave her with the remains of what could have been but never should be. It was how it always went and Daniel hated how much he loved it. 

--

Jason watched as Suyun excused herself to make a phone call and she went out onto the hotel balcony to get away from him. He let out a sigh and took off the face mask, throwing it away in the waste bin by the desk that had become home to his oldest brothers things during their stay in Seoul. They would be leaving in forty eight hours so he only had to deal with it for a little longer. He and his brother never really got along so for them to be together for so long was awkward for the both of them. Their personalities were so different and there was almost a whole generation gap between them that drove them to see the world in totally opposite ways.

Jason wandered into the bathroom and stood in front of the sink. He the tap and waited until the water was cold enough that he could drink it without his teeth hurting. He reached out and grabbed the small yellow medicine bottle and popped it open. With a few shakes a pill rolled onto the palm of his hand and he quickly threw it into his mouth, washing it down with the tap water. He closed the medicine bottle and placed it back into its exact spot. With a heavy sigh Jason the hot water and checked constantly to see if it were warm. Jason was staring down the pills, hating that he had to take them but happy that they took away those thoughts that almost took him from everything and everyone he loved.

When he was a child he used to love going to the pier with his siblings. He would run around like an idiot while Suyun barked orders at him and Daniel would walk just far enough away from them that no one would associate him with them. They use to go there all the time just to get out of the house so they didn’t have to listen to their mother nag them about their grades or about how Jason should be practicing the piano instead of fooling around with his siblings. He didn’t care what she thought; the only people who really mattered to Jason were Suyun and Daniel. They were the coolest people he knew and everything they liked or said became the gospel for him. On this one particular trip to the pier Suyun was exhausted from a long day of school and sat on top of the rusting railing that was supposed to stop people from falling twenty feet into the deep waters below but was looking more like a tetanus trap more than a safety precaution.  

“Dan, take a picture of us!” Suyun yelled as she handed Jason the disposable camera that he ran over to their brother. He groaned and rolled his eyes but he took the camera and held it up to take a picture of the two youngest. Daniel was in high school and too cool to be seen with his sister that was in grade six and his brother that was in grade three but he still did whatever they asked of him. Jason ran back to Suyun and stood beside her as Daniel took the picture which the young adult Jason still had hidden away in his room as a painful reminder of everything that happened to him.

After the first picture was taken Jason begged for another because he claimed the sun was in his eyes. Daniel complained but still held up the camera, ready to take another picture. Jason leaned back on the railing, shaking it all behind him. Suyun lost her grip and fell backwards off of the pier. Jason tried to grab her but she slipped right through his tiny grasp and she plunged into the water below.

“SUE!” Jason screamed as he watched his sister get eaten up by the dark waters and she didn’t come back up. Daniel ran past Jason, launching himself off the pier and into the water after his sister. Jason sat on the ground, screaming and crying as both of his siblings disappeared. By now adults were all gathering around him, watching Daniel drag an unconscious Suyun to the beach shore. Paramedics were called and Suyun was taken to the hospital. Because of Jason she had fallen and she became terrified of bodies of water, effectively ruining the beach and pier forever. All of their memories were outweighed by the fear that Suyun carried, the anger Daniel carried and the guilt that hung onto Jason.

Whenever the extended family would gather it would only be a matter of time before someone would bring up the story of the time Jason almost killed his sister. They didn’t care if he was in the room or not, they would talk about him like he didn’t even matter. For years Jason listened to everyone talk about how little he mattered in the world and soon he began to believe them. The worst part of it all was that the only person, who should hate him, loved him and never blamed him for what happened. Suyun never talked about the incident but when other people did she would place her hands over Jason’s ears and tell him that everything was going to be okay. But it never was okay. Jason carried that guilt with him for years and everything he did never lived up to the incident.

“Jason won another award for his piano playing last week.”

“Oh, he’s so talented.”

“Yes but do you remember that time he knocked poor, sweet Suyun off of the pier and she almost died?”

“That was such a bad time for the family.”

All of it was his fault. Even when Zhu Li, the most loving person in the world, entered his life it was too late. All of the negativity had taken a hold of him and refused to let go. Suyun was getting ready to leave for Korean, Daniel was going to New York and Jason was stuck with his memories and feelings that were over taking him. One night he sat in his room and made up his mind. He either needed to get help or he needed to end his life. Not willing to leave Zhu Li and his family, Jason went to Suyun while sobbing and collapsed into her embrace as she told him that everything was going to be alright and that they were going to get him help. He spent two months in the hospital and missed sending Suyun off to the airport which was a big regret of his, but he figured that this was the best option for him.

Jason stared at himself in the hotel mirror and washed his face with the hot water and brushed his blond hair out of his face with his wet hands. He hated himself less every day but it was a struggle to deal with the fact that he wasn’t worthless after years of being belittled by the people who claimed to love him unconditionally. If the people who were forced to love him were the ones hurting him, what did true love even feel like?

“Yo, Jason. Where are you?” He heard Suyun call from the room.

“I’m in the bathroom, I’ll be right out.” Jason turned off the water and dried his face with the towel that he dropped onto the counter. He took a deep breath and headed back out into the main part of the hotel room to try and help his sister find their brother who had run off into the night. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daniel Kim

Jason Kim

I am honeslty so in love with the secondary characters in this fic XD it is insane