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A week after the bowling group outing Suyun was sitting in the practice room covered in a light layer of sweat with the other girls of Love-E passed out on the floor.  Love-E was having a solo concert in a little over two months and the girls were practicing like crazy. They had to practice their routine for all of their past songs plus some on their CD’s that actually had dance routines. Plus they had to prepare their very own special stages. Suyun had a solo performance, Hanbi and Ara had a dance performance and, Juhee and Gayun had a stage where they were going to perform the song that Juhee had written and was an added track on their last special addition CD. While the rest of the girls were worrying about their stages, Suyun was staring lifelessly into her phone at her family chat room.

Dad: Mom is sick
Jason: It’s just a flu I bet
Sue: But mom never gets sick
Daniel: Is she going to the doctors?
Dad: She’s too stubborn
Dad: Jason come home tonight.
Jason: Mom was taken to the last night
Daniel: WHAT?!
Sue: Should I come home?????
Dad: No Sue. Stay in Korea for the time being. It’s just some fluid in her lungs. Don’t worry.
Daniel: I’m in only New York, I can be in LA in a few hours.
Jason: I’ll keep you two bad children in the loop. Don’t freak out Sue.

Suyun couldn’t help but freak out. Her mother, who she saw as an angel placed upon Earth, was in the hospital. She didn’t want to tell anyone about it in case nothing came about it, but she was worried. What if something happened? Could she tell her managers? Would they give her a break? What would happen to the concert then? Suyun hung her head and wondered why her brothers weren’t texting her back. Jason was the youngest of the three and lived at home with their parents but because he was in university, he was out a lot. Daniel was the eldest of the siblings and moved out of the house as soon as he turned eighteen. It wasn’t because he disliked his family, in fact he considered his siblings his best friends and his parents were saints. But LA just wasn’t the place where he could express himself. He needed the gritty and rough surrounding of New York to inspire his writings. Daniel was an author and part time poet who had a few of his works published. Suyun missed her brothers because, even though she was the middle child and much more mature than her siblings, they treated her like a fragile doll. They were like her brothers, second fathers, best friends and role models all roll into two very sweet men.

“What’s up?” Juhee asked as she plopped onto the couch beside Suyun. She instantly closed her phone screen as she felt the need to hide her family problems from the world.

“Nothing much really, I’m just texting Jason.” Suyun forced a smile and Juhee had a huge grin on her face.

“Can you set me up with your brother? He’s so good looking.” Juhee’s cheeks were burning bright red as she spoke about Jason. It wasn’t lost on Suyun that her brothers were attractive; it was just a little weird to think about.

“He’s dating someone.” Suyun had been asked a million times since she was in middle school if she could hook girls up with her brothers. It was an impossible task since both of her brothers were picky. Jason liked very sweet girls who could challenge him on an intellectual level, which he found in a girl named Zhu Li. They met in freshman year in high school; they were both in the school band, Jason played piano while Zhu Li played the violin. Five years later and they were still a very strong and adorable couple that was the envy of the whole family. Everyone was just sitting around and waiting for them to get engaged. Daniel on the other hand was a hermit and liked to stay to himself. Suyun knew that he dated a few women in his life, but he wasn’t in any rush to be in a stable relationship and bathed in his bachelor life style.

“What a lucky girl.” Juhee sighed heavily as she stared into the distance, most likely day dreaming about Jason. “Anyways, it’s time to head back to the dorm.” Juhee lightly tapped Suyun’s leg and looked over at the other girls who were already packing up and getting ready to head out.

“You guys head home first. I’m going to practice some more.” Suyun couldn’t head back to the dorms; she had too much on her mind. Juhee didn’t question her and just left with everyone else. Suyun headed to one of the singing rooms and sat on the bench in front of the piano, her fingers dancing over the ivory in a clumsy attempt to play a song she learned when she was seven. When the piano could no longer entertain her, Suyun thought about texting Leo but she knew he was asleep. They have been talking almost every day but it was proving difficult to have a relationship when you barely see each other or hear their voice. Suyun set up her phone on top of the piano and played “The Best Day” by Taylor Swift. She sang along, belting out the lyrics as loud as she could or until she physically couldn’t anymore. She wanted to be with her mom and see that she was okay with her own eyes. Being out of the country for so long was taking a strain on their family bond. She would see pictures of the four of them together on holidays and it would break her heart.

“Now I know why all the trees change in the hall. I know you were on my side, even when I was wrong. And I love you for giving me your eyes; staying back and watching me shine. And I didn’t know if you knew, so I’m taking the chance to say that I had the best day with you today.”

Suyun couldn’t help but cry as she sung out the last bit of the song. She was so stressed out that everything seemed to just pour out of her all at once. Her emotions were embarrassing and she was angry at herself for breaking down like a child. The door to the room swung up and Suyun snapped her head to see who it was. Mark was standing there with wide eyes as he stared at Suyun who was a sobbing mess.

“Mark? I..uh…didn’t know you were here…” Suyun sniffled and forced herself to hide her tears, quickly wiping the tears onto the back of her hand. Mark wasted no time as he swooped Suyun into a tight embrace, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I won’t tell anyone and I won’t ask any questions, so just cry.” Mark said it almost like an order and Suyun buried her face into his jacket and clutched onto him with shaking hands. Suyun started sobbing against Mark as he rubbed her back in a soothing manner. Mark could feel her whole body trembling against him and he felt a strange anger build in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to know what broke her like this, but he didn’t want to make her talk about it if she wasn’t ready. Suyun didn’t know what to do anymore. She needed her family but they were too far and too busy for her selfishness. Instead she was alone in South Korea, thinking all the worst things in the world and letting her worries build. She needed someone to talk to and vet to but she didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. Being a letdown was a bigger anxiety trigger than asking for attention in Suyun’s mind.