***Kim Junhee POV***

Ouch. Okay. It's a huge Ouch. This is the first time I felt such hurt as this. I was there inside LSM's office fighting for our relationship. When he came in, I thought I would have someone on my side, but instead, he agreed and in front of the President, he told me we should follow what he said.

It's not like we should follow all the things the President says. We have our own life, and no one controls it but us. I don't want to give up the relationship just for this. I don't care. I really don't care about anything else.

I entered the relationship and I never planned on giving up just because of this. I can't understand why he needs to do this. Am I not worth keeping for? Am I not worth fighting for? Or maybe he didn't want to tire himself up so he's just giving up. It's easier than fighting anyways.

He was too selfish – to engrossed on thinking what was the best – and he even thought it was the best for me. I don't think it is. I was at my best when he was beside me, and now that he left me, how can I still be my best? Now that he's not mine anymore, how can I be strong enough?

All the things I've done which made everyone praise me, they were all because of him. They were all because he didn't leave me. They were because he was there – holding me firmly and never letting me go. Maybe he wasn't aware – but I don't think I could be this far if it wasn't because of him, and I hope he knew how much I value his presence that's why I don't want to let him go.

But he did – he was the first one to let go.

Unknowingly, my tears fell as I lied down on my bed thinking about what happened yesterday. Though I tried so hard to be calm and cool abour it, I can't really act good enough showing that I'm fine. Someone from SM wanted me to go to the company to sign the contract, and eventually after that, we will have the first script reading with the director and the other stars, but I wasn't in the mood.

I can't attend something that has caused my heart to be broken like this. I can't afford to just go there, enjoy the new opportunity that was given and at the same time – look back only to realize that I lost something more important just because of this.

Maybe this is really my dream, maybe this is really what I want, but how can he expect me to be happy and contented if I do this without him beside me?

“Junhee-ah..” Umma knocked at the door but I didn't answer. She would probably think I was sleeping. However, I didn't know I left my door unlocked. She then went in slowly. “I was thinking maybe you should eat. You've been in your room since last night. You need to come out, I think.” She said and sat beside me on the bed.

I sat up, wiping the tears that were on my face. She sighed. “Jonghyun told me about what happened. I know you're feeling bad right now, and I can't absolutely say anything because I definitely understand how you feel, though I know Jinki ssi also has the point.”

I stayed quiet, but my eyes can't keep themselves from tearing up. I wiped them away – trying hard not to sob. “Love hurts. I know.” She said and held my hand firmly. “But I'm proud that you're not afraid to face them. I heard from your oppa that you fought really hard to save it – even argued with him just to keep the both of you together. You were right when you did it. It was fair to fight. It was fair to argue, especially when you badly want to keep something.”

I looked at her, and quickly went to her arms and she hugged me tightly. “Umma...” I called out. “I was really happy being with him.. but... but... why does it have to end so soon?”

“It only ends when both of you decided to end it.” She looked down at me and smiled. “I don't think he gave you up. I believe probably he just let you go. Letting go and Giving up are two different things. Giving up means I'm sick of you so I'll stop, while letting go means I want you to do what makes you happy so I'll stop.”

“But both of them means seperation and breakup.”

“I don't think so.” She said with a gentle smile. “Maybe you should think about it.” She rubbed my back for one last time. “Anyways, there's one more reason why I came here.”

I sat back and looked at her. “What is it?”

“Someone wants to see you. He's downstairs. Do you want to talk to him?”

I didn't answer. I don't want to talk to him, but I want to see him. I want to see his face. I badly want to. Instead of answering, I pulled out my blanket and covered myself as I lied back down. My mother sighed, and I heard her slowly leaving my room.

I might just sleep. I don't know what to do next. Okay. I'll listen to loud music so I can forget about this – about him – and everything related to this stuff. Never mind what will happen tomorrow or the next days. I just want to forget everything today.

While listening to loud music I felt someone sitting beside me on the bed. Umma went back. I removed my earphones. “Did he leave?” I asked.

“No.”

It wasn't umma – but him. I wanted to sat up, punch him, kill him, kick him, and all, but I can't. I suddenly felt like seeing his face will only make me cry harder. I suppressed all my feelings – hoping he won't hear those silent cries.

“I'm not sorry.” He said.

Thanks for saying you're not sorry. That is a big help.

“But I hope you stop crying – and feeling sad. Cheer up. Go out and sign the contract, and get the best new actress award by the end of the year. I believe in you. I believe you can do anything – everything – you can be everything. I have that huge faith in you Kim Junhee.”

Yeah, right. Stop trying to ease the hurt. It won't go away by you saying you have huge faith in me.

“If you still love me after this best new actress award, then you know I'm always just waiting for you. I was just your mentor, and maybe it would be better if you try to explore yourself more. I want you to figure a lot of things out for yourself. To grow. To be someone you want to be without being dependent on anyone else. If LSM wanted you to prove something, then prove him you got everything. Prove him you're not just somebody in the company. You can be someone – someone that is worth being proud of. I'm letting you go not because I'm sick of you, and also not because I don't want to fight. This is how I fight. I want to show LSM and everybody that whether they try their best to keep us apart, still in the end, we'll go back to each other and stand strong – after them breaking us apart. But if time comes when you realize you don't really love me, and just loved me because I was there all the time then... I'll still be happy. At least you figured out your feelings without someone pressuring you.”

As I listened to him, my eyes teared up and they flowed freely again. He was saying painful things, and it hurts me, but something makes me feel like I'm so much loved by this person.

“Don't worry about me falling out of love with you, coz definitely... that will never happen.”

Slowly, I felt him leaving the bed. I was still covered with the blanket so I can't see him. As soon as I heard the door closing, I sat up and threw the huge pillow on towards the door – hoping it would hit him though I know it won't.

“I hate you!!!! I hate you! I will never ever ever go back to you again! I hate you Lee Jinki!! Why are you hurting me like this!! I'll go to Jonghyun oppa and for sure he's goint to beat the hell out of you!!!!!” I shouted – not able to control my feelings any longer. My tears went down freely with me sobbing so hard.

How can you tell those sweet words to me knowing you were still gonna leave me. “I'll win all the awards and you'll drool because you can't have the best new actress award back to you! I'll fall in love with Song Joongki – date him and you will regret letting me go because of your stupid You want me to grow thing!!” I shouted even louder as I cry harder. I can't control it. They kept on coming out and if I didn't let them out, then it will really drive me crazy.

I lied down and took few deep breathes – still thinking about him. As I put back the earphones on my ears, I thought I was going to get him out of my mind but then... it was as if my music player was on his side as well.

Sarangeun naegero wa (Love me and)
Neoreul ikkeuneun siganeuro (Time will lead you)
Yeongwonhi kkaeji annneun (Forever without breaking up)
Kkumman gatasseo jeongmal kkumman gataseo (I thought I was dreaming, like a real dream)

Who would have thought I would love you this much? Who would have thought I would experience this pain because of you? I want to hate you. I want to hate you for doing this to me, but I can't help but always think about how I love you in reality... and how I'm hurting and crying right now because I can't let you go... and because I always want you beside me, and I'm afraid that when time passed by, you'll soon forget that you love me.

“But you'll see, Lee Jinki. You'll see in the future.” 

// 2 more chapters to end the story, guys. What can you say?? :)) I'll post the last 2 chapters today as well. XD