I took a breath as I stared at this huge company in front of me. What was written outside? The large logo of SM Entertainment.

I called the lady who gave me her contact details just a while ago and she quickly asked me to go and see her on the company. Because it was the end of class so I decided to drop in to meet and talk to her.

Once you step in, you can't step back anymore. I reminded myself before gathering all the courage I have to enter the company.

Few minutes later, I found myself inside the elevator to go the the 4^th floor where I will meet Agent Park Han Byul, the lady I met in the school just few days ago. As for the moment, I don't know how to feel. I'm excited – and at the same time nervous.

“I'm here to see Agent Park.” I told at the desk outside the office.

“Name please.” He told me.

“Kim Junhee.” I said and he took the intercom. It seemed like he was talking to Agent Park on the other line. It took him around less than 30 seconds before he attended to me again.

“She's waiting for you inside. You can go in.” He told me and even opened the door for me though I entered the room alone.

“So... this probably means a yes, Kim Junhee-ssi?” She said as she welcomed me and shook my hand before asking me to sit down. “I was a bit worried you would refuse the offer.”

“Being a trainee in SM is something someone should not miss once given the chance.” I told her to which she smiled. “I'll train very hard so I could have a big chance to debut as an actress.”

And that was how... I accepted the offer. She toured me around the rehearsal studios and practice rooms and we even met some of my future instructors. As I foresee what is going to happen soon, I can't hide my excitement.

“Are you ready to be an SM Trainee?” She asked me after lurking around the company. I nodded happily.

Suddenly, all my doubts and fears of getting into this were vanished and now, all I have is excitement – the hope to be the person I may want to be in the future. I hardly thought this would come true, but looking at things now... it seemed like I just took one step closer to who I need to be in the future.

“A week after your graduation, you'll start your training in SM Academy.” She said as she shook my hand before we seperated. I smiled and bowed before leaving her room.

As I walked along the empty hallway towards the elevator. I saw a familiar picture of 5 men walking together towards me. My heart skipped a beat and I suddenly wanted to hide my face – though I really didn't know why.

I remembered I haven't told anything about this to Jonghyun oppa. He will be surprised to know I am part of SM now. I maintained my posture and tried to act as natural as possible.

“Junhee-ah?” Jonghyun oppa said as soon as they got close enough to me. “Why are you here?” He asked – and looked at Jinki oppa for a second. The latter looked away – acting like he didn't know anything – but for sure he already had the idea of why I was in the company.

“Uh... oppa.” I said – didn't know how to start explaining. “I... I...”

“You what?” He asked impatiently.

I smiled. “I will be a trainee here. They gave me an offer and I accepted it!” I said. Since I remembered about it, I can't help but be excited again. “You are going to be my sunbae!”

“What?” The smile on my face faded as I saw a different reaction from Jonghyun oppa's face. He shook his head and entered the room beside us.

“Oppa?” I was confused with that different reaction he just gave me now.

“Come in.” Key oppa said and asked me to get in ahead of them – following Jonghyun oppa inside.

“Oppa... aren't you happy?” I approached him and he just stood on the center of the practice studio. I saw the other members sat on the corner as if they weren't listening – while Jinki oppa closed the door behind him and silently watched over us.

“You didn't tell me about the offer. How long has it been?” He asked – can't identify if he was mad or disappointed.

“Well... that was because... I kept thinking if I should accept it or not.” I told him.

“And you didn't even ask about my opinion? I am working for SM, Junhee. You should've asked me first about how SM runs the company before you could even accept an offer.”

I was taken aback. I didn't expect that from Jonghyun oppa.

“Are you saying SM is not a good company for me?” I asked.

“No... I'm just saying that.. you don't know anything yet about the business that you want to get into. Are you sure about being SM's trainee? About not attending university and choosing this over that?”

“I'm attending University.” I revealed. I noticed how the other members reacted in surprised. Even Jinki oppa was shocked. “I know it might be difficult, but I talked to Agent Park Han Byul about it. She said it's okay as long as I can handle both.”

“And do you think that would be easy?” Jonghyun oppa lifted an eyebrow towards me. It's confirmed. He was really mad at me at the moment. “You don't even know how hard it is to balance personal life from your life as an idol, and now you want to try having 2 careers at the same time? You don't know what you got yourself into, Kim Junhee.

“Don't you trust me?”

“You don't have to be in this industry, Kim Junhee.” He told me. I couldn't figure out why it hurt me so much.

Maybe because I was expecting him to support me in this... but he didn't – and was even trying to stop me.

“I asked Onew hyung to stop seeing you because I don't want you to carry on with the burden... but looking at you now, it seemed to me that you are really trying to get yourself into trouble.” He told me.

The other three members were shocked – but still deprived themselves of talking. Well, even I was surprised of what he said. I was now least expecting him to include Jinki oppa's name in our argument.

“Onew hyung... did you know about it?” Jonghyun oppa looked at him instead. He was speechless for a while – probably debating whether he would tell the truth or just lie. “So you knew about it, huh?” Jonghyun oppa said when Jinki oppa didn't answer immediately.

“What, Junhee? Did he tell you to accept the offer so you, two, can see each other? Was he the one who push you into this?”

“Oppa!” I said a bit loud. “Jinki oppa doesn't have anything to do in here!” He hitched and took a gasp.

“Jinki-oppa?” He looked at me with both eyebrows meeting now. “You were closer than ever? Didn't I tell you to stop contacting each other? What? You can't get over that oppa now? Kim Junhee, I told you to choose someone else!” He shouted.

“Kim Jonghyun!” That's when Jinki oppa shouted and walked towards us. I noticed him holding his fists together. “I was trying my best not to meddle because this is you and your cousin's business... but now that you've mention my name, I think that gained me some rights.” He said and stood beside me.

“I don't see where you are coming from. I know why you don't want me around your cousin, I respect and I understand that. I didn't even complain when you asked me to stop going around him. I accepted it because you were very nice to me... but you're being too much. You don't need stop her. This is what she wants. This is what can make her happy. Don't just stop her pursuing her dreams just because I am around.” Jinki oppa said in all honesty.

It was very hard to see these two close people fight and argue because of me.

“You don't need to teach me how to take care of my cousin.” Jonghyun oppa said.

“Precisely. She is just your cousin. You are not in the position to dictate whatever she wants to do in her life. You protect her. You love her. Fine. Hands down to that. I admire you for being a great oppa... but please, Kim Jonghyun. Stop over reacting.”

“I'll stop over reacting when you finally stop looking at her as a target.”

“She isn't my target!” Jinki oppa shouted across the room.

“So what do you call her?? A past time? Someone you can have while there's noona around?”

“Stop it, guys, will you?!!” I shouted as I felt so burned out hearing their arguments. “I just hated the both of you!” I pointed fingers at the two of them before running out of the room.

It was just painful for them to shout at each other just like that – knowing I was the reason why they were doing that. I can't understand. I don't know why they had to fight like that. If I am just the reason, can I take back what I said and just go the university instead?
 

I went to the garden at the back of the company. There was a fountain in the middle of the garden and I decided to sit on the bench around it.

As I sat, I saw Jinki oppa walking towards me. I thought of leaving before he came, but something just made me stay and wait for him to arrive.

He sat beside me silently – not saying anything. For about 10 minutes – all I we heard were the random chirping of the birds and the sound of flowing water from the fountain.

Then he handed me a bar of chocolate. I looked at him before accepting. “To help you feel better.” He said and smiled gently.

I accepted it and peeled the pack slowly. I heard him sigh heavily. “Those were just few moment when we had to shout at each other.” He told me. “Jonghyun and I always fight... but we still end up fixing it and getting along. It's like Love and Hate relationship. We love each other, but there are something that the other does that makes us hate each other.”

“Like how the both of you treat me.” I said.

“Yes.” Jinki oppa looked at me. “Jonghyun couldn't understand why I'm treating you like this... and I can't also understand why he was treating you just as how he did a while ago. It made us hate each other.”

I looked at him – unable to say a thing. He just smiled and patted my head – messing a bit on my hair.

“If that's something you want in your life, then don't let anybody stop you – even the ones who are important to you. You can't be what you need to be if you listen to what everybody has to say.” He smiled and pinched my chin lightly. “Come on, just listen to oppa this one time.” He chuckled and so am I.

// I wasn't able to post the chapter earlier coz I was suddenly disconnected. Anyhow ~