Author’s POV…

Hoku soon left after her confrontation with Youngbae, leaving the drivers in charge of getting the group back to the hotel.

“Hoku said we’re supposed to meet our drivers in the hotel lobby 8am tomorrow morning.” Tyra walked into the room where the members had all been sitting.

“Where are we going tomorrow?” Seungri asked as everyone just sat around and relaxed amongst the studio.

“We’re rehearsing for the concert aren’t we?” Daesung mentioned as TOP nodded in agreement. During that, Youngbae had pulled Jiyong to the side away from everyone, taking a seat across from each other, Jiyong stared at his friend confused by the tense atmosphere that was now coming off of him.

“What’s up bro?” Jiyong asked as Youngbae sighed finally looking up to his friend.

“I spoke to Hoku.” Youngbae announced as Jiyong quickly sat up.

“About? About the news?” Jiyong asked frantic as Youngbae nodded.
“I told her there was something that happened in Korea that she needed to talk to you about.” Youngbae explained causing Jiyong to nod interested.

“She looked it up herself and saw the news.” Youngbae whispered looking back down to the table.

“Ok, and so? Is she going to come back to me?” Jiyong asked expectantly while Youngbae hung his head.

“Bae?” Jiyong asked hesitantly before Youngbae sighed and looked up to his longtime friend.

“I’m sorry bro, she said she won’t.” Youngbae whispered as Jiyong’s jaw dropped along with his heart.

“What? Why?” Jiyong asked outraged as Youngbae stood up trying to calm his friend.

“She’s still hurt Ji. And from the looks of it, she isn’t doing too good, she looks ill.” Youngbae pointed out as Jiyong sat back down, dropping his head to the table.

“But but.”  Jiyong started looking down to his hands only to see the tears falling into his palms.

“Ji, just give it more time.” Youngbae begged before Jiyong stood up and walked away, uncaring what anyone was saying anymore.

“We didn’t even get to talk to Hoku today.” Eden whined as the girls nodded.

“She didn’t look so good earlier.” Selena muttered from Seungri’s shoulder.

“Noona looked exhausted.” Seungri added as the girls nodded.

“She looks thinner to me.” Top mentioned before Tyra nodded.

Hoku on the other hand reached home and dropped immediately to her bed in a huff.

“Am I going to hell for hurting someone after they hurt me?” She muttered to Jolie who quickly curled up against her chest.

“Jolie, did Appa say anything to you?” She asked again before sighing when she knew no one was going to answer her.

“What do I do Jolie? I still love Appa.” Hoku whispered holding the pup, letting the tears fall down her cheeks.

“I still love Appa but I don’t want to get hurt again.” She cried resting her cheek on the pups fur. It was hard to explain, but was it possible to love someone but despise them at the same time? It was hard, still having the strong feelings she had for him, but at the same time terrified to be anywhere near him. Life really is interesting.

The next morning, Hoku woke up at the sound of her cellphone ringing in her ear. Groaning she pushed herself up onto her knees before grabbing the phone. Rubbing the massive sleep from her eyes she looked down at the caller ID to see that it was Youngbae-ah calling. Groaning in annoyance looking to the clock to see that it read 5:30, she scratched the back of her neck annoyed before answering.

“Hello.” She spoke in a raspy voice, then reaching out to hold her surprisingly sore throat.

“Hoku!” Youngbae’s voice shouted frantic as she sighed, sitting on her .

“Yes, what is it?” She whispered before hearing some clattering on the other end.

“It’s Jiyong.” He spoke causing her heart to freeze.

“Is-is he ok?” She asked hesitantly already climbing out of bed.

“We can’t find him.” He spoke as she froze.

“What-why?” She asked worried running around in the dark to get dressed into something suitable to wear out of the house.

“He did go to bed when we got back to the hotel, but he’s not here and he’s not answering any of our calls.” He spoke frantic again causing Hoku to rub her eyes in annoyance.

“I told him what you said.” He suddenly said catching my attention.

“What?” I asked nervously as he sighed.

“Hoku-ah, he needed to know that pursuing you any further was fruitless, so I told him.” He mentioned as I held my forehead.

“I’ll meet you at your lobby.” She spoke before hanging up, grabbing her keys before quietly sneaking out of her house undetected.

Hoku’s POV…

How stupid could he be? Knowing that I was the one in charge of making sure his image wasn’t ruined. I raced towards town still in my pajama pants, tank top with a hoodie over it and my glasses, I was a total mess. I halted in front of the lobby area flashing my lights to signal wherever Youngbae was hiding only to see the entire clan of Big Bang members running out towards my car.

“Seriously.” I whispered as they all climbed in before looking at me surprised.

“You came out dressed like that?” Youngbae asked shocked as I snorted.

“It usually takes me about 30 minutes to get into town, didn’t have time to change.” I muttered pulling away from the hotel before driving in a particular direction.

“Where are we going?” Top oppa asked over as I sighed massaging my head.

“I have a guess where he might be.” I whispered driving to a location both myself and Jiyong had visited the last time we were here. A park we had walked into while we were driving around the place, he mentioned how beautiful the small pond with the bridge over it was, just like the one we had visited in Japan.

“Noona, you look sick.” Seungri pointed out as I sighed, adjusting my glasses again.

“Seungri, don’t worry about me.” I informed as he nodded hesitantly. We arrived at the park, I parked the car in the first stall I found before climbing out.

“Spread out.” I called to the other members as they nodded taking off in every direction calling for Jiyong. I knew where we was but was still a bit hesitant to go that way. Putting my hands into my coat pockets freezing, I made my way towards the direction of the lake area. I was a bit terrified to be walking in this park so early in the morning, it was still dark and I hadn’t seen anyone walking around or jogging like I would expect, plus it was freezing. Finally the lake came into view right in front of me, I stopped and scanned the pond with my eyes as best as I could before landing on the bridge reaching across the more narrow side of the pond.  He wasn’t there, I sighed in defeat, walking towards it anyways. Finally reaching the bridge I walked up to the center before crossing over to the railing and resting my arms on it.

“I was so sure you’d be here.” I whispered to myself before looking down to my reflection.

“You always talk to yourself when you’re alone?” A voice startled me causing me to quickly look over and see Jiyong resting on the opposite railing.

“Everyone’s looking for you!” I snapped outraged before he snorted, never turning to me.

“Doesn’t matter to me.” He muttered as I began fuming.

“Why are you acting this way?” I asked annoyed finally turning all the way towards him.

“Why does it matter to you?” He asked back annoyed causing my heart to thump painfully.

“Don’t get upset with me for what I chose.” I hissed before he finally turned to me, his eyes lighting up upon seeing my face.

“Why are you here?” He spat before I sighed massaging my head.

“I’m your publicist, if your image was to be ruined on this trip, it would be my head.” I pointed out before he chuckled.

“Ah, that’s why you came out, because it’s your job.” He mentioned sarcastically as I clenched my fists. I was worried at first, but now I’m just pissed.

“Yes! I came out because it was my job.” I snapped before he looked me up and down before connecting with my eyes again.

“Dressed like that?” He asked amused as I snorted and began walking away, down the steps of the bridge losing my footing on the 3^rd step down.

“AHHH!” I yelped in surprise, awaiting the fall only to have a pair of arms catch me from behind.

“Geez, be careful.” His voice whined as I pushed away from him quickly adjusting myself.

“I was worried about you, alright?” I mentioned in defeat never looking up to his expression before I turned away from him.

“We’re leaving back to the hotel, hurry up, I’ll give you a ride.” I whispered quickly walking away before my feelings gave me away. I didn’t even look back once on the way to the car as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out to see that it was Daesung calling, quickly I answered it.

“I found him.” I mentioned the moment I answered.

“I’ll meet you all at the car.” I informed before hanging up and sighing.

“Are you ill?” His voice asked from behind while I adjusted my glasses.

“Doesn’t matter.” I muttered continuing to walk away from him.

“Hoku, I’m really sorry about what happened.” He spoke as I shut my eyes tightly trying ignore him.

“Hoku!” He shouted grabbing my arm and turning me towards him, I immediately ripped it out of his.

“Don’t touch me.” I whispered taking a step away from him finally being able to look into his hurt eyes.

“Just don’t…stop.” I whispered turning away from him before walking again.

I dropped the guys off at the hotel a few minutes later, making sure to remind them of the schedule today. I made it back to my house, turning off the car in the driveway before sighing.

“What am I going to do?” I whispered looking down to my lap, watching as the tears dripped down onto my pajamas. My feelings were betraying me.