Hoku’s POV…

I don’t know how long I had been crying, but I was suddenly shaken from my trance by a knocking on the window. Quickly I looked over to see Kawika looking at me worried. Making sure that no one was around, I unlocked the door and dove out for his chest, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist.

“What happened? Why are you crying like this?” He asked worried as I sniffled, trying to control my breathing.

“He didn’t do anything.” I whispered through tears before my brother pulled away and looked at me confused.

“Sis, you’re not making any sense.” He said concerned as I hung my head, hurt.

“He broke up with me to save me.” I whispered before his eyes shot open.
“What? Who told you that?” He asked confused as I pulled out my phone, bringing up the same page I had seen before passing it to me. It didn’t take much time before he pulled me against his chest again.

“I’m so sorry sis.” He whispered against my hair allowing me to cry further.

“What are you going to do now?” he asked as I pulled away wiping my tears before slipping my glasses back on.

“I can’t go back to him.” I whispered never moving my eyes from the black napkin in my hand, thanks to my now smudge makeup.

“Really?” He asked surprised as I sighed and nodded.

“I can’t handle it anymore.” I admitted in a whisper before he sighed and nodded.

“Are you sure?” he asked hesitantly while I let a tear fall before nodding.

“Alright, if that’s what you want, then I’ll support you.” He offered hugging me again before he pulled away.

“Mikey was looking for you, so I came out to look for you.” He mentioned as I nodded, slowly walking over to the door. I took one last deep breath before walking into the loud studio finding Mikey.

“Hey! We’re you looking for me?” I asked over to Mikey in a surprisingly cheerful voice.

“Oh there you are. I wanted you to see the photos.” He offered as I nodded, taking a seat next to him as he brought it up on the computer in front of us.

“Good?” He asked as I leaned forward looking at it, keeping my eyes away from the ones with Jiyong in them.
“They’re amazing.” I whispered smiling over to Mikey’s proud expression. Looking from his expression to the makeup area, I smiled inwardly seeing that Jiyong was now holding Jolie. A bit of me was jealous that Jolie could be that close to him and still be happy, but then again, as much as I felt sorry for him and grateful for him, I just couldn’t go back to him. Many things were running through my mind, I had gotten injured in that relationship more than I had fighting in high school. He meant the world to me, but I don’t think I could handle any more heartbreak in one relationship, it wasn’t healthy.

“I love them Mikey.” I praised again while he smiled and nodded.

“When do you guys leave to New York?” he asked in interest as I turned to him.

“Sunday night.” I answered as he nodded.

“I have a friend in New York who has some accessories he wants to give to the guys. If I give you his contact info will you meet with him?” He asked as I nodded smiling.

“Sure.” I offered before he handed me his business card causing me to look down shocked.

“Nike?” I asked shocked as he chuckled and nodded.

“Not really accessories as much as it’s shoes.” He answered causing me to laugh and nod.

“I’ll definitely call him.” I pointed out, slipping the card into my bag before he nodded.

I thanked Mikey for the day before walking over seeing Youngbae going through various accessory boxes smiling.

“Oppa.” I called out when I was out of hearing range of the others. He turned to me and smiled.

“Oh Hoku-ah.” He said cheerful going back to the box. Once I reached his side, I turned him and pulled him into a hug surprising him.

“Omo, why are you hugging me?” He asked confused as I sighed, smiling almost in relief.

“Thank you Oppa for letting me know.” I whispered before pulling away to see his confused expression.
“Letting you know what?” He asked as I smiled looking over to Jiyong for a moment before turning to his realizing expression.

“You saw it?” He whispered surprised as I nodded.

“I read it on the net.” I mentioned before he smiled, patting my shoulders excited.

“That’s great, you and Jiyong will get back together then.” He offered putting an arm around my shoulder trying to me towards the members, myself freezing. He turned to me confused as I slipped out from his grasp.

“I can’t go back to him oppa.” I whispered seeing his jaw and eyes drop in hurt.

“What? Why?” He whined grabbing my hands as I sighed seeing his desperate face.

“Oppa, I can’t anymore.” I whispered looking down to my feet in shame.

“You don’t understand Hoku. Jiyong went through a lot of turmoil during the blackmail just for you. He was ecstatic when Seungri broke the case.” Youngbae whispered begging as I looked up to him, finally taking off my sunglasses shocking him.

“Hoku-ah, you look ill.” He whispered putting a caring hand on my shoulder causing me to smile and lean into his warmth.

“Oppa, this type of relationship isn’t healthy for me. I already have a weak body as is, I haven’t slept in weeks, eating is almost impossible and I cry every chance I get. I don’t want to go through this again.” I whispered begging slipping my glasses back into place before he pulled me into another hug.

“Hoku-ah, Jiyong loves you more than anything in his life. You can’t do this to him.” He whispered sounding as if he was about to break out in tears.

“Oppa, I’m sorry, but I can’t. I can’t go through with this again. It’ll happen again.” I whined in tears before he sighed, leaning his forehead on my shoulder.

“Hoku-ah, please. Jiyong needs you.” He said now in a shaky voice causing me to bite my lip before pulling away from him.

“I can’t.” I whispered shaking my head seeing the slow tears fall from his eyes and onto his shirt. I felt bad that I was hurting someone I looked at as a brother, but I knew if something like this were to happen again when I went back to him, my heart would shatter into unbreakable pieces. I was surprised that I was walking around now with the way my heart was painfully thumping in my chest. I knew my heart wouldn’t be able to hold it in, best to avoid it, no matter how much I wanted to be with him.