I’m writing this chapter from a narrator’s POV because I want both Sirrah and Kris’ thoughts to be apparent and it would be a bit annoying to keep switching POVs after every few paragraphs. I’ve put Kris’ thoughts in the bold italics, and Sirrah’s thoughts in the normal italics, so please don’t get confused ^^

ENJOY ♥

As the water washed over him, Kris went over all the things he had noticed about Sirrah so far. Looking back now, he had realised that she had worn cardigans or long sleeved shirts whenever she was around him or EXO. He understood now that it was because she didn’t want them to see her scars. If they were just from injuries, then why did she hide them so thoroughly? Was there something serious behind them, or was it that she was just insecure about what people might think?

She was scared of trains for some reason. She also always wore something around her neck, which hung on a leather strap, although it was always tucked safely into her shirt so Kris had never seen what it actually was. I should just ask her about all the stuff. I have to find out one way or another, don’t I? Might as well get it from the source itself. When would he find the time to talk to her though? He still needed to confess his feelings as well. She’ll probably be fast asleep by now. A little while later, he turned off the water and got into his boxers and pyjama bottoms. He didn’t like to wear a shirt when going to bed because he would feel hot and clammy later on, so he hadn’t even brought one into the bathroom with him.

He stepped out of the bathroom with the towel around his neck. He was about to turn towards his room when he realised that the light to the living room was still on. Did she forget to turn the light off? He moved towards the main room, and when he entered, he saw that Sirrah was sitting up under the blanket playing around with her phone. She’s still awake?

---------- + ----------

Sirrah heard the soft creaking of a door and looked up towards the corridor where it came from. Looks like Kris is done with his shower? The sound of quiet footsteps drifted towards her and she waited for Kris to come into view. When he did, she wasn’t prepared for what she saw. I think something just popped in my head. She was expecting a nose bleed any second now. flopped open and she could do nothing but stare.

Kris was standing there in all his shirtless glory. His boxers and bottoms were riding low on his hips, his V-line perfectly visible. Her eyes grazed over his perfectly toned abs, and the milky skin that was covering it. She watched his muscles ripple and stretch as he dragged the towel from side to side behind his neck. started watering without her even knowing. Something so beautiful deserved to be worshiped in her opinion. She wanted to drag her hands over his exposed skin and show him how much she wanted him just then. She had never felt this kind of burning desire for any other man before. Her breathing started speeding up.

Kris was oblivious to her reaction though. He walked slowly towards her. Sirrah’s eyes stayed glued to his lean, long body; she couldn’t rip her gaze away. Jesus, please don’t come near me, I might just die for real this time. “You didn’t go to sleep, yet?” Kris asked quietly.

Sirrah gulped and after a quick struggle, lifted her gaze up to his. “I…uh…I  c-couldn’t get to sleep.” She stuttered. She’s nervous about something. He watched her eyes drift down to his body again. He quickly realised that his shirtless state might have something to do with it. Sirrah completely missed the smile that crossed his face before he stepped closer to her. Her eyes widened as he stood directly in front of her. Her hands twitched, wanting to reach out and touch the perfection that was in front of him. She gripped the blanket over her legs hard to stop her hands drifting. Kris noticed her tense expression and rigid posture. He leaned down so that his face was directly in front of hers.

“What’s wrong, Sirrah?” He whispered, his breath washing over her lips. She drew in a shaky breath, in his intoxicating scent as well. It didn’t do much to help her current situation. He’s really going to kill me. He’s doing this on purpose now. She squeezed her eyes shut. Kris smirked. She’s so cute. Would she mind if I kissed her right now? Kris started to lean forward, but Sirrah abruptly opened her eyes. She put her hands on Kris’ bare shoulders and gently pushed him backwards. Her finger’s tingled where it touched his skin, and Kris’ was experiencing a similar feeling where her fingers touched him. He frowned and straightened up. Why did she push me away?

“I-I’m sorry…I just…” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened them again and looked up at Kris. “Aren’t you going to bed?” She asked him. Kris’ frowned deepened but he quickly straightened out his face. Sirrah secretly wanted him to stay with her but she was scared she would lose control if he stayed near her in the state he was currently in.

“No…I was tired, but my sleep got washed away with my shower.” Kris lied. He was tired but he wanted to spend time with her. He waited to see if she would tell him to go away or not. I hope she doesn’t… A few quiet moments passed and then Sirrah did something that shocked both of them. Sirrah kept her polite expression in place, but the surprise was evident on Kris’ face as Sirrah lifted up the blanket on her left side and patted the seat next to her.

“Well, if you’re not going to go to sleep, then might as well keep me company.” Sirrah smiled. It seemed like a dangerous situation to her, but she decided to risk it. Let’s see where this night leads us. Kris hesitated. Isn’t this what I wanted? Why am I stalling now? Sirrah waited for him to move. But he didn’t. I guess he doesn’t want to stay. She started to lower the blanket again, taking his hesitation as rejection of her offer, but Kris stepped forward and quickly sat down next to her before he could change his mind. It’s ok, it will be fine.  Sirrah smiled to herself quickly before draping the blanket down over Kris’ legs.  “You might want to pull that up before you catch a cold.” She pointed towards the blanket.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=i1wDA9ALKwU - put it on before you read on! tis beautiful]

Kris buried his hands under the fabric to pull it up when accidently his hand brushed against Sirrah’s bare leg. She flinched and pulled away. Why does she keep moving away from me? Sirrah quickly cleared up any misunderstanding he was starting to have though. “You’re hands are so cold” She whispered, shivering a little.

Oh…I was thinking the wrong thing again. Kris looked towards her with a small smile and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Yeah, sorry, my hands are always cold.” He chuckled. Sirrah brought her hands out of the blanket and surprised him for the second time that night. She took hold of his big hand and cupped it between both of hers, turning her body towards him.

“And mine are always warm,” She smiled, looking down at their connected hands, liking the feeling. She slowly looked up at Kris. He looked back down with tender eyes. I wish you will always hold my hand to keep it warm. Something that had happened earlier popped into Kris’ mind.

“When we were playing blind man’s bluff earlier, how did you know you had caught me without even touching me?” Kris asked. Sirrah had backed him into a corner of the room and then correctly guessed who it was without even checking. Sirrah smiled at the memory.

“You’re scent.” She whispered. Your intoxicating scent that attacks my senses every time you come near me.

“Huh?” Kris raised his eyebrows with an amused look.

“You’re scent.” She said a little louder, but still quiet enough not to disturb any of the sleeping EXO members. “I don’t know if it’s the cologne you wear or something, but you smell the same way whenever I come near you. I could smell it when I cornered you so I didn’t even need to check.” She shrugged. Kris smiled at her confession. Sirrah looked up at him. “Were you surprised?

“A little.” Kris admitted with a chuckle. “Although I think Lu Han was the most shocked. He’s convinced himself that we have some kind of psychic connection.” Kris smiled down at her.

Sirrah laughed, thinking about how silly her cute oppa always was. “Sometimes I think he’s crazy.”

Kris coughed out a chuckle. “I can agree with you on that one.” They both laughed, sharing the moment. Can we be like this in the future too? Sirrah couldn’t help but wonder. She had questions that she wanted to ask him, but she didn’t know how to bring them up. She froze when she felt Kris’ fingers on . She looked up at him in confusion.

“What’s this? You’re always wearing it.” Kris said, the leather cord around her neck. He noticed? Kris hoped that she would tell him. He wanted her to open up to him. He wanted to let her know that he really was sincere about her and not just toying around. Sirrah thought about whether she should tell him or not. In the end she decided that there was no harm. In fact, she wanted him to know more about her, the same way she wanted to know more about him.

“This?” She asked, grabbing the cord and pulling it out of Kris’ sweater. Kris nodded and watched as it emerged. When it did, he realised that there was a key on the end. It was a gold coloured key, and it looked old. Sirrah unclasped the leather cord from around her neck and dropped it into Kris’ hand. “It’s the key to my grandparent’s house.”

Kris inspected it carefully. It was delicate looking and very elaborately designed. Despite its vintage appearance, it shined in the dim light and was well kept. “Do they live nearby?” Kris asked, still examining the intricate details on the key.

“They used to.” Sirrah replied quietly.

Kris looked up at her questioningly. “Used to?” He asked, not understanding what she was saying. Did they move away?

“Used to. My grandpa passed away five years ago, and my grandma followed him two years ago.” She said solemnly, dropping her gaze into her lap. Kris’ eyes softened. I’m so stupid. I made her upset now.

“I’m so sorry.” Kris reached out a hand and placed it over hers, giving it a small squeeze. She looked up and smiled.

“It’s ok. Everyone has to go one day, right?” She whispered the last word and dropped her gaze down again. Even if we don’t want them to.

“Were you close to them?” Kris asked. It was a stupid question, but he wanted to know more about her family. Sirrah straightened her body and leaned back against the sofa. She had a tiny, wistful smile on her face.

“I was very close to them. I practically grew up in their house. After my parents left for Spain, I stayed with my grandma for a year, until she died.” She said quietly. Her grandma died two years ago, so that means she’s been living on her own since then.

“Tell me about them,” Kris requested, watching her face from the side. Sirrah turned to look at him.

“What do you want to know?” She asked.

“Anything…everything. What were they like?” Kris gazed softly into her eyes, which had a hint of sorrow lingering in them now. Sirrah turned her head away again and looked at the painting of the river Thames on the opposite wall, remembering all the memories she had collected of her beloved grandparents, who in a way, were more dear to her than her own parents.

“They were amazing.” Sirrah said, in a voice filled with awe as Kris watched her with a tender expression. “They were the kindest people I knew. They took care of anyone and everyone around them, not leaving a single exception. My parents have always been busy taking care of business, and since my grandpa was retiring and my grandma was a simple housewife, they would leave my brother and me with them for weeks on end because they weren’t there to look after us themselves. It was that way since I can remember. There was a time when I thought my grandma was my actual mother instead of my mum.” She chuckled, but it had a bitter edge to it. She had never had a good relationship with her mother. Kris bit his lip as he watched her intently, his other hand playing with the key.

“I was happy though. I loved it with my grandparents. They took care of every need and want that escaped from our mouths, and never once complained.” She stopped and her thoughts drifted down another lane.

“I never properly saw what the relationship between my mother and father was like, but I grew up watching the love between my grandparents. They were both the same yet the opposites of each other at the same time. They were both quick to anger but just as quick to forgive; they easily got irritated with each other, there wasn’t even one interest they had in common. Anyone who ever saw them, would see them bickering and teasing on another all the time. I heard many times, people wondering how two clashing personalities like that could stay together. But they managed it. Those people never saw the hints of amusement in their bickering or the sparks of love that glowed in their eyes whenever they looked at the other. Despite their differences, they lived in perfect harmony, never once drifting away. They grew old together, moulded themselves to each other.

“There was a time when my grandpa fell horribly ill. He was sick with an incredibly high fever. He barely had the energy to move his lips, yet he refused to go to the hospital. My grandma begged and begged him to go, because she couldn’t bear to see him in that state, but he still refused. I watched her stay awake day and night, for almost five days, tending to his every need. She would wipe his burning body every few hours, feed him with her own hands, hold him all throughout the night when he would shake with nightmares, never once worrying about how tired or exhausted she was, until he was fully recovered.

“Then when my grandma had her hip replacement surgery, my grandpa cared for her in the same way – carrying things for her up and down the stairs despite his aching back and legs. He even cooked her food every day, although he couldn’t cook to save his life.” She let out a little chuckle at the memory of helping him carry up the bowl of water, with floating bits of tomato in it to his wife. He had very happily declared that he made ‘tomato soup’ for her. “But she didn’t complain even once. She ate everything he made her with a genuine smile on her face. I’ve never seen such devotion and love like that.”

Her eyes stared sadly into space. “They say that it’s not possible to die of a broken heart. I didn’t think it could happen either. Not until I saw it happen for myself.” Her bottom lip quivered but she pulled in a deep breath and continued. “When I was…thirteen…my grandpa had a…he had a heart attack.” She closed her eyes, trying to push away the painful memories. “His health deteriorated quickly after that…” She bit down on her lip, almost hard enough to draw blood. She squeezed her eyes tighter, wanting to crush the crippling guilt that reared its head once again. It was all your fault, Sirrah…all your fault, the dark side of her conscience whispered to her, shooting tiny darts of poison into her mind. No…I won’t fall back into this. She gritted her teeth and clenched her hands into fists, her nails digging into her skin. Kris watched her trying to regain composure quietly. It must have been so hard on her. But he didn’t really have an idea how hard.

She opened to speak again but her voice came out strained. “He died two years later after another heart attack, when I was fifteen. The worst part was watching my grandma after that. I expected her to cry and scream, asking my grandpa to come back to her. But she didn’t. She didn’t utter a single word. Not even a single tear left her eye, because my grandpa asked her not to cry after him on his deathbed. He knew he wasn’t going to make it. She followed his every request. She lived normally how he asked; she took care of herself and never once cried for him. But I watched the light slowly fade out of her eyes. She had lost her reason to live.” Sirrah choked, a single tear streaking down her cheek. She closed her eyes as a sob wracked through her body. You took away her reason to live, Sirrah.

Kris let his instincts take over as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her towards him. He pressed her tightly against his chest as her small body shook with her silent cries, her tears wetting his bare skin. Kris hadn’t even realised that he was also crying until he saw one of his tears drop onto the crown of Sirrah’s head. His heart ached with hers. He wanted to take her away from anything that would bring her sorrow. He wanted to fill her life with nothing but happiness. He rested his head on top of hers and closed his eyes. “There was nothing wrong with her…she hadn’t even hit seventy years of age. She was in good health before my grandpa died. In fact, they still couldn’t find anything wrong with her, even when the autopsy came. Nothing but a broken heart.” She mumbled against his chest as another sob shook her body and Kris tightened his hold on her.

“I came home from college one day. It was raining heavily.” It was raining that cursed day too, it was raining when grandpa died, and when grandma died…Every time… “I walked inside to find her sitting on her armchair – where she would be sitting every day when I came home. She had her eyes closed. She would normally be asleep when I would enter. She liked me to wake her up when I returned. I crouched down by her and looked at her. There was something different about her that day. She was smiling. She had smiled after my grandpa died, but it was never genuine. But this smile – I could tell she was really happy.

“It made me smile too, and I was overjoyed that something had made her happy again. I wanted her to tell me what it was. I grabbed her hand and was about to rub it to wake her up, but then I realised something was wrong. Her hand was cold. Her hands were always warm – no matter how cold it was, her hands would always be warm. I wondered if she was ill, so I gently shook her shoulder to wake her up and…” Her voice broke again. “Her head just rolled to the side, completely limp…I’m sure you can imagine what happened after that.” She whispered.

Kris certainly could imagine, but he didn’t want to.

“After I came home from the hospital the next day, I found her journal on the table by her armchair. My grandpa had gifted it to her for their last wedding anniversary together and she wrote in it every day since then. I went and picked it up, and I realised there was a pencil wedged in between some of the pages. She must have been writing something before she…” She trailed off, swallowing painfully. “I didn’t have the heart, nor the will, to read through her journal. I wanted to respect her privacy. But curiosity got the better of me, and I opened the page where the pencil was. There was just one sentence in the middle, written in her elegant handwriting.” She took a deep breath. “It said ‘I’ll finally get to see you again.’” Sirrah swallowed back another sob. “She let go. She let go of whatever was still holding her here, and went to find what she really wanted. I just hope she found my grandpa.” Her whisper faded into silence, and her sobs slowly stopped.

Sirrah placed a hand on Kris’ chest, right over his heart. She could feel it beating strongly underneath her touch. I hope it always stays strong like this. Her loved ones had a habit of leaving her, and she didn’t want to lose anyone else. Her own heart felt a little lighter now. She had never once spoken to anyone about this since her grandma had died. Not to Zara, not to her brother, not to anyone. But she was glad that it was Kris she had opened up to.

Kris closed his eyes and let the warmth from her hand soak into his skin and into his heart, starting a fire that he knew he wouldn’t be able to put out again no matter how hard he tried. It would only grow and consume him completely. And I couldn’t be happier about it.

“She always used to tell me something.” Sirrah said quietly.

“What was that?” Kris croaked, his throat tight from the waves of emotions that were washing over him. Sirrah lifted her head off his chest and looked up into his eyes. His eyes were sparkling from the moisture in them, and she could see the tear marks that s their way down his perfect face. He was crying too… Her heart swelled with unimaginable happiness. He had shared her sorrow with her. He had shed tears with her. For her. And just like that, she knew that she hadn’t made a mistake by confiding in him.

“She used to tell me…” Sirrah reached up her hands and wiped her fingers across his skin, brushing the tears away. She looked up into his eyes as she quoted what her grandmother had told her many times. “’You’ll know when you’re in love not when you find someone who’s perfect for you, but when you find someone with imperfections who you want to keep in your life, despite his flaws. And when you find that one person, hold on to him and never let him go.’” She smiled and laid her head back onto his chest, not having the courage to look him in the eyes.

Kris stared in front of him with wide eyes. “H-have you…found that person yet?” He asked quietly, a little flame of hope burning inside him.

Sirrah placed her hand on his chest again, and brushed away the moisture left on his skin from her own tears. “I’m not sure…yet.” She said quietly. But it was a lie. She was almost certain that she had found that one person. And he’s right here with me, where he should be. She just had to get to know him more. Kris wasn’t elated by this answer, but the tone of her voice and her actions didn’t blow out the little flame. “Why do you ask?”

“Nothing…just curious.” He lied. His mind raced in all sorts of directions, trying to work out a way to tell her his feelings.

Sirrah nestled against him, enjoying the warmth his body was radiating and Kris sighed in contentment. Sirrah felt lighter emotionally, but physically she felt drained and exhausted from the release. Her eyelids were growing heavy, but she had one question that was burning on her lips. “Kris?” She whispered.

“Hmmm?” She felt his chest vibrate under her cheek as he hummed.

“Do you…have a girlfriend?” Sirrah asked. Please say no.

The question took Kris by surprise and the little flame of hope grew a bit brighter. “No, I don’t.” He smiled. She wouldn’t ask if she didn’t care. “Why do you ask?” He repeated her question.

“Nothing…just curious.” She repeated his answer. He could feel her smiling against his chest and his own lips tugged up into a smile. It was quiet for a while, with no noise but the sound of their synchronised breathing. Kris finally made his mind up.

“Sirrah…” He called softly. “I’m not good with words…but I have something I want to tell you. I think…no, I know. I am in love with you. I don’t know what it is about you, I don’t know how it happened, but it did. All I know that I want you with me, in my life…always.” He paused and waited to see if she would say anything. “Will you accept my heart, Sirrah?” He whispered. But Sirrah didn’t speak – she didn’t even move. Fear gripped Kris’ heart. What if she rejects me now? What will I do?

Kris slowly leaned forward, and held Sirrah’s head against his chest. He cupped her head and pulled it back so he could see her face – the face that graced his dreams every night. A soft chuckle escaped from his lips. Her head was limp in his hands. Her puffy, red eyes were closed, her breathing deep and steady. She had fallen asleep. One way or another…I always lose my chance. Kris laughed quietly to himself but his mind was determined. I WILL tell you, Sirrah. I just hope you’ll accept me.

Kris gently got up from the sofa, while his arms held Sirrah up. Once the space was clear, he carefully laid her down, and adjusted the pillow below her head. He crouched down in front of her face. He drank in her beautiful features, not finding even one thing wrong with her. She looked like a fallen angel to him, her hair framing her face like a dark halo.

I just hope her grandma was wrong, because to me she’s perfect, but I don’t plan on letting her go any time soon. Not ever.  He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to each of her swollen eyes, careful not to wake her. Then he gently wound his arms around her neck and clasped her grandma’s key into place, which he had been holding the whole time, putting it back where it belonged.

“I’m sure your grandma found her happiness again, Sirrah. She’s fortunate to have someone like you as her granddaughter.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips across her forehead.

“Sleep well, wǒ de ài.”

He got up and made his way back to his room. He stopped at the mouth of the corridor and turned to look at the sleeping girl once again, a warm smile spreading across his face. He turned around and went to his room.

Kris didn’t see the figure hiding in the shadow of the opposite corridor. He had heard and seen everything. Without a sound, he disappeared back into his own room. The apartment fell silent again, the sounds of sirens drifting in from the distance.

Ok, so this chapter was more challenging for me, i had to think about two peoeple's pov, at the same time, instead of concentrating on just ones persons thought. But i enjoyed it. 

This was meant to be a deep, meaningful chapter, but in all honesty, i dont know how it's turned out. I have trouble expressing myself so i real bad at writing these kind of things, so i have no clue how this will be received.

If you guys find it too mushy and emotional, there is only one person to blame and thats dbskgirl4ever - she probably doesnt have a clue who the hell i am, but she has been toying with mah feels with the latest chapters of her story, The Bittersweet Deal. I have decided i'm not going to read any of her gang stories ever again, because they are simply too good and leave me crying no one in particular a river. So i refuse...although i'll probably still read them...but yeah, i bawled my eyes out like a little girl while i was writing this chapter, so i guess the sappy feelings must have leaked into this...¬.¬

I'm sure most, if not all of you, are reading that story too, so in case any of you are still catching up with the latest, i wont say anything to ruin it for you...but its just heartbreaking T_T 

And if any of you arent reading it ---> http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/207604/the-bittersweet-deal-angst-blockb-gangs-romance-zico-exom-kris

GO AND READ IT NOW!!

Hold on....why am i advertising someone else story instead of mine? READ MY STORY!! and subscriiiiiiiiiiiibe!!

Do comment and let me know what you guys think of my sappy writing style, i put a lot of effort into it and i really need some feedback lol...

But more importantly! Some of Sirrah's past has been revealed, and SIRRIS seem to be making some progress now.

WHO WAS THE GUY IN THE SHADOWS?!?!

Ok...i'm going to go get some well deserved not sleep now, since i've been up all night helping the water shortage in england...

GOODMORNING! <3

Or afternoon, rather...o_O