Jan Di frightfully looked at him and her eyes were so much nervous. Even her facial expressions were getting changed and she suddenly looks like pale. Ji Hoo’s heart was aching a little by little. He just confirmed and realized from Jan Di’s behaviors that the name of the person she has loved at first in her life was him.

 “Sunbea… sometimes, there are things that it is good we do not recall which were happened in the past because recalling them will not make us peace in the present.” She said looking at his deepened eyes. He knew that she would escape from his question like this.

“Isn’t that mean you scared to recall them?” he asked back from her.

He knew that she cannot answer him. How can she tell him that she loved him in the past before she started the affair with Jun Pyo? And even today the feelings she felt for him that he is in her heart so far, from the moment she saw him at the school ground where he was playing the Violin alone, if she tells these things, she couldn’t even figure out what will happen next in the lives of all of them.

She leaned on to the balcony and stared at the sky which was behind him. She has not given any answer to his question. She knew that her heart was refreshing again and again in this night. Ji Hoo stepped towards her much closer and caught her hand towards his chest letting her to gaze at his eyes. ‘Is this the sunbea I knew?’ She thought suddenly. She has never seen him like this. How much she scared to this moment that much her heart didn’t want to leave and escape from him right now. Her heart has wanted to realize him much more tonight. But she scared a lot and though she didn’t know, he knew it very well.

“Jan Di...! There are many unknown fears in our hearts…………..”

He said being closer to her and crossing her fingers from his hands holding closer to his heart. She felt that her heart was thumping highly. She kept gazing at him in her widened eyes.

“Fears that we don’t recognize… that we do not need to realize even……We don’t feel scare for them………. Right…..?”

He asked looking at her eyes. She was totally dumb and just staring at him surprisingly thinking what he is going to tell.

“Then, there are fears that we recognize… that we always experience which are like general and they don’t give pressure to us because they are usual… Then again we don’t feel scare for them…..…Right…….?”

He asked again just holding her hand closer to his chest at it. She nodded her head this time slightly trying to understand the meaning of his words.

“Further, there are fears we believe we should fright….but our minds are stronger than them knowing they are just an illusion……..Then we don’t feel scare for them too…….Right………?”

She nodded her head again. His deep voice and serious looking eyes were diving in her heart letting it to beat crazily. She felt that her breath also was rising simultaneously to her heart beat. Though it was difficult to gaze at his deep emotional eyes, she remained there as it is just looking at them.

“Finally, Fears that we feel in our hearts… Scare of feelings… Scare of bonds… The fears which take the control of our minds….The fears that make us weakened in our feelings and the fears which make us helpless in front of our hearts………”

“You feel scare for them……….?”

“Don’t…… you?”  He bent towards her eyes much more and asked in a deepened voice and waited for her to respond.

She just realized what he was trying to express so far. It’s the situation where she is at the moment. Scare of feelings of him…and the scare of bond with him. The scare which controls her and melts and weakening her heart in front of him. She didn’t have any reason to decline his words.

“Mmmmmm……” Getting lost in his eyes, she nodded her head and murmured feebly.

When he heard her answer, he placed her hand in to his chest which was hold so far and bent little more towards her side and whispered.

“Me too…..!”

His emotional two words shocked her and let her heart rising towards him. With the ongoing emotions and the scare of his eyes just as her, she knew perfectly that he still loves her which hurt her heart a lot in this dark cold night.

“My fear prevents me from you. Therefore, you are safe as always with me.”

Being closer this much to the girl he loves and in a moment where he has confessed her about his feelings and revealing himself totally letting her to feel him where she has not escaped, his heart was shouting him to feel the touch of her lips which are shivering right now gapping few inches from him. Just as he did in New Caledonia, he wanted to kiss her right now forgetting everything but the time has matured him a lot. His eyes caught the pinky cold lips of her but he knew he cannot touch them. Just before his fear breaks down and release his uncontrollable heart, he looked down at once.

As a girl she felt everything from his eyes. When his eyes were catching her lips she knew the pain ongoing with him right now but she didn’t have strength let him to kiss her. So far, over these years walking behind her always, supporting her to climb to her dreams he has been there with her but in a moment like this, she felt so sad that she was not in a situation to give what he wants though her heart knew what is fair and what is unfair.

“Jan Di!.....Though today is dark and the day is over, there will be a tomorrow again. And there will be more tomorrows as well. Therefore without getting in to a mess and losing your happiness catch your tomorrow with a clear heart. I am scared to see you cry. Even my fears cannot prevent me seeing you crying.”

Preventing the tears hardly controlling in his eyes, he said finally like that. The silence of Jan Di so far was telling him that she was helpless thinking what should and shouldn’t do. When he doesn’t have a choice even knowing that he will be suffered a lot in future more than today, seeing her with him, he said like that to her.

The words of him were so heavy for her. She has never thought that one day she would be this much weak between these two guys. Especially in front of her soul-mate!

When the tears were counting to her eyes freshly, she released her hands from his speedy chest and caught his face from the both of her hands towards her making him surprised a lot. While closing her eyes she placed her lips in his cheek just passing the slight trembling lips of him.

In a moment where he needs her to leave him, the skin-ship of her was too much unbearable for him. The controlled tears were falling slowly through his cheeks. Jan Di broke the kiss suddenly and ran away from him towards the staircase. She didn’t wait for the lift, she quickly ran towards the stairs.

Ji Hoo felt that he was in a hurtful dream for the things happened here a while ago. He just stared at the way she was going with his teary eyes. His mind was saying to him that this is the end. Though he could pressure her feelings more than ever in a moment like this, he didn’t do anything because just as he said he was scared to move towards her. He totally knew that if he let his feelings to overflow with her then there will be no turning back.

Without meeting him for more than two weeks, rejecting him for speaking with her, making things arrogant and behaving stubbornly, this is where she has brought him within this period. He touched his cheek where she kissed. The way she danced and got closed to him, the way she cried in his arms like crazy, the way she stared at him, the way she let him to speak and listened to him, the way she responded from her postures not from words, the way she kissed him and everything was drawing in his mind like a film. He leaned on to the balcony and looked at the sky letting the balanced tears to flow lonely.

Only the stars and this intangible buildings and trees have seen everything happened here. They are the witnesses of the confession of him and the respond of her.

He felt so tired after passing a heavy and burdened moments with her but his heart was feeling comfort a bit because he could let her know the feelings he has for her.

But one thing he realized that as always even after hearing his confession today she has not told her regular words of rejecting him. That is; ‘I am sorry sunbea’.

He sighed a lot. He has not planned anything to happen like this and he cannot figure out whether it is good or bad to happen things like this even. What he really felt was after the X-mas they all will meet with Jun Pyo and that is the reality and that is what he needs to face.

He didn’t have strength to move to the party again and join with Eun Ji. He slowly stepped out from the roof top and waited for the lift to get in.

………………………………………

Changing the plans, Goo Jun Pyo has thought to bring them before the Christmas. He has remembered once Jan Di spoke about the Christmas so enthusiastically. He arranged all the tickets for before Christmas and residing hotel for his friends and asked Mr. Jang to contact his F4 members and he send the message to Jan Di with a wishful heart.

After facing a heart burden situation with Yoon Ji Hoo at the past night she was in a totally confused and complicated situation when she got the message from Jun Pyo. Though she needs to feel happiness and desire for seei