He felt his head was paining a little by little… Jun Pyo had this headache since recently where he has not bothered about it much more. When it was rising he has taken a pain killer and rested a little. But time to time he felt that his head was paining always.

He took his blazer and put it on. The words of Jan Di were making him aroused a lot. By now, in this cold rainy night, she was in another guy’s house. He was not anyone but the person who has the feelings for her too. Jun Pyo couldn’t rest at home knowing her resident right then. Though he had a heavy headache right then, he stepped out from the house.

Though he entered to the driving seat he felt that he won’t be able to drive since he couldn’t concentrate properly with the headache. He called a driver and asked him to take him to his direction.

He felt he was bit sweating right then. He removed his coat thinking it was warm inside the car and he instructed to driver to increase the air conditioner much more making even the driver surprised because it was a cold and rainy night.

He took his handkerchief and wiped his face. He felt he was not bit strong in his body. His head was paining severely when he touched his forehead tight.

When the car stopped at the direction he gave to the driver, he dialed her number and kept the phone on his ear waiting her to answer it.

……………………………………

She felt a strange feeling at once seeing the suitcases on his bed. It was the same feeling she could feel when the day Ji Hoo left her for years when they were in New York. She quickly stepped towards the suit cases and opened them. Many of his clothes have packed there. Her eyes got widened a lot. ‘He must have packed it before I come here’ she thought shockingly.

 “Ji Hoo sunbea!!! What are these all about? Why? Why have you packed your clothes?” she asked pointing her finger towards the suitcases.

Turning back and remaining at the window, he stared at her. There was no feeling in his face.

“Are you planning to leave by any chance?” she asked again coming towards him.

“It’s really difficult to live like this in this house with the memories which are killing me all the time.” He said looking at her.

“Then……..what are you thinking?” she asked stepping towards him shockingly.

“If I leave, then will you come with me? Just as you promised me at Harabouji’s memorial, will you come with me?” he asked at once in a serious voice staring at her shocking eyes. The rain has not stopped yet, the cold wind was blowing in to the room through the open window to tell him that this night was really vital… 

“Sunbea!!!!”

She murmured with her widened eyes towards him. It was a destined question. The answer of it would be the fate of many people. Ji Hoo kept staring at her. He knew it was really hard for her to answer. In a moment where she has publicly famous for an engagement with another guy, it was not truly easy to answer. He could see her embarrassment from her face. His heart was aching at its best and the emotions of him were spinning here and there with the pain making him in tolerable seeing her like this.

“It cannot be happened…..am I right?”

He asked when she looked down with the embarrassment. When she was there remaining silence, he quickly caught her arms making her stared at him.

“You may not understand how a guy’s heart beat but you can just see it through his eyes always…What can you see through my eyes?  Can you see what I feel? Can you feel what I wish?.....???” he asked shaking her arms. She could see how much he was struggling.

“Sunbea!!! It is not I do not understand you, I can feel what you wish and I know how you feel…That’s why I am here even in an hour like this… Just as I promised you, I will come with you for sure. I am not playing around you…I have already spoken to Jun Pyo to break the engagement and please wait for me…I cannot marry Jun Pyo, you please remember it…”

She could see his questionable eyes towards her yet.

“I cannot share my life with two guys. It’s not I am willingly hurt Jun Pyo, I loved him once back. But I cannot force my heart to love someone to whom my feelings have changed with the time... With this engagement he has got the attention of everyone and in his point of view, it was not only his personal but his reputation also link with it…therefore, it is needed some time to break this and clear the issue… Till that, please hold on to me”

The hands which were on her arms were suddenly dropped down by him. He felt really twist in his heart. Jan Di quickly caught his fingers frightfully. She couldn’t see a positive picture in his face.

“You still care for him…?” When as a guy he felt the jealous and the embarrassment in his heart he asked at once like that.

“Sunbea!!!” she muttered with a surprise got from his words.

“I knew you had an affair with him and it was you who decided to walk with me for the rest of your life. Jan Di, I am not finger pointing to anyone including you to pass the blame… But as an example, before you come here, you should have thought the reasons you come here to see me at an hour like this. You should understand what you do next…don’t you think so?” he said again painfully staring at her. He could feel her fingers were tightened within his fingers while listening to him.

“We both of us, waited to clear this issue but what happened at last? It ended with engaging you to him. Actually it was not the end and it’s the starting… then, do you want me to wait till he marries you…? Do you think I can see it in my eyes…?” he asked painfully.

“Sunbea, it’s not like that…”

She tried to explain things but she felt that like never it was really hard to describe things to him today. She could realize his situation but from her side, she was too helpless. Ji Hoo slowly forsook her fingers which were through his fingers.

“After Harabouji gone from me, I had only the hope of you but by now the last hope also has vanished from me…. You have already engaged to him and it’s a matter of time to march in the wedding… Seemed to be again, it is me who needs to give up on you again in this life… why our fate is like this? Why it is you all the time Jan Di-ahh…!!!??” he asked leaning on to the window.

When his eyes got little moisture he looked away from her. She was speechless right now. Truly in her heart only she knew that she wants to be with her sunbea. Just like him, she also had dreams on him. Just like him, she also has felt fluttering inside for him when she was with him. But she didn’t know to explain them right now.  She could see the clearing emotions in his face little by little.

“Giving up on you is something I cannot even imagine in a moment like this. But when I think it from your side I feel it in a different way too Jan Di. Just as I always think from your side, today also I am going to think like that. Though I am not happy in my life, at least I can think that you would be alright if I release you from this mess…because you are still struggling…”

“What are you thinking? What are you trying to say?” she asked curiously looking at him.

“My heart says with the time and living with Jun Pyo in future under one roof, you will settle your feelings little by little. I know he likes you a lot and he loves you too. And you also did once back, so you will be able to switch in to him from me again with the time. With the time, you will be able to blow off the fire in you and live peacefully…”

He said holding his heart once more. He knew already his life has vanished and he has no hope here in after. He could see her shocking widened eyes in front of him. Her lips were shaking with the shock. If she cannot come with him right now as she said, then he has not had any option unless going away…

“Ji Hoo sunbea!!! Are you telling me like this because I didn’t agree to leave with you right now? You are telling me like this because of the embarrassment...right? You don’t mean it… do you…?” Jan Di asked shockingly without being able to understand his words.

“You will be alright with the time. Sometimes, this would be momentary butterflies in your heart…. When the time is passing you will be alright and will be able to live with him peacefully if I give up now…and that is what I have to do as the rest.” He said looking down from her.

 “What………? Momentary butterflies………? Is this all enough? Do you mean I have just temporary feelings in the heart? Is that all…………? Is that the way you think about me…..?”

She asked in a crying tone trying to catch his eyes. Her heart was aching a lot. Simultaneously he was crying in his heart too. The emotions he had for her were melting again and again when she was questioning him like this. It was not true he was telling her but there were no any other way to solve this matter in his point of view…

“Jan Di, what else I can do other than this? Can I take you with me wherever I go when you have already engaged to someone? Can I be with you always, though I was desperate to be with you? Can I make you mine though it is that what I really want to do? At least can I touch your hand without a guilty other than just love you alone in my heart? I am also a human and I also have my limits. I cannot tolerate my heart every time in front of you though you have engaged to someone else. Then what I can do other than leaving you to him….?”

The tear ball which was dancing in his eyes so far has fallen down through his cheeks with his last words. His heart was shouting with the pain and he could see how she was staring at him shockingly.

“Is that mean you have decided to leave? Is it confirm?” she asked when the tears were counting to her eyes continuously.

“When you were with me there at the back yard today I confirmed it to myself