Though it has been passed one week from the engagement still the engagement of the heir of Shinwa Group and Gum and Jan Di were time to telecast as an advertisement promoting the name of Shinwa further more. Whenever it was caught by his eyes, the heart was falling down again and again with feeling of ache wherever he is. Yoon Ji Hoo spent most of the days at the hospital without going home. He took all the night shifts throughout the week and he slept in hospital rest room in the day time. He wanted to occupy himself with something and not to be alone because he was really scared of being alone by now.

Though he knew that he couldn’t make up his mind letting her go away from him just because of an unfair engagement, but he knew exactly that there will be nothing he can do about it too. That feeling was killing him inside repeatedly. By staying at the hospital all the time, he made him not to meet her. Any how she has become the fiancée of another guy in front of many eyes and even in the television publicity too. So, associating her now closely would be damage to her character as a girl if some bad gossip would publish in news papers or television news mentioning his name since she was the fiancée of Goo Jun Pyo by now.

“Yoon Ji Hoo! Today too, I cannot let you to stay here. Go home and rest” he fell to the real world with the voice of their supervisor. He stared at him.

“It’s ok for me. I like to stay” Ji Hoo said with a smile.

“No..no..no… I cannot let you to stay. My department head would scold me if I did so, because it’s a rule here to take the day off and get rest at home because we are dealing with patients and our minds and body should be strong and healthy. Therefore, you go home today”

The supervisor tapped Ji Hoo’s shoulder and left. He knew he has to go now. He sighed. Taking his backpack he left the hospital. He walked towards the road by his foot. The bridge of the Han River was there in front of his eyes. Slowly he reached there and stopped at the mid of the bridge. Holding the bridge bench his eyes caught the beautiful night view of the Han River and his memory was captured the moments he was here with her long before.

The water fountains were still falling time to time there without knowing what has happened to him remembering his time with her. Avoiding her meeting throughout the week and living like a lonely person in the hospital has not been able to feel him better even once. He leaned to the bench of the bridge and kept staring at the falling water fountains. The cold breeze was blowing here and there making him feel chill but he remained there without caring the atmosphere.

“Yoon Ji Hoo!!!” he heard a voice behind him. He turned his head uncaringly and stared. The image of his childhood friend was there. Ji Hoo turned towards Jun Pyo.

“What are you doing here in this cold?”

Jun Pyo asked again. He could see the tired eyes and dull face of his friend clearly. Deep in his heart he knew that because of him, because of the planned engagement at that day, his friend was suffering like this. Seeing the face of Ji Hoo, Jun Pyo’s heart felt something which he has never felt so far. It was like, hurting his friend just because of a girl and keep looking how his friend was drowning with the sadness.

“I am watching the beauty of Han River. I wonder why I didn’t see this beauty so far. I think when we alone only we can see the beauty of the nature too”

Ji Hoo said staring at the night river. Jun Pyo could sense his words deeply. He carefully stared at Ji Hoo’s face. It was so hard to figure him just seeing him as always.

“Yoon Ji Hoo, I am going home now. Come with me, I will drop you home”

With the confession in his heart and with the bond still Jun Pyo had in his life with his childhood buddy, unknowingly he wanted to make Ji Hoo even bit comfort. Though he exactly knew the reason for this was him, it was like he wanted to cover the reason with some kind of help or comfort to his friend.

“Feeling pity for me?” Leaning his back on the bench, looking at Jun Pyo he asked with a pretended smile. Without being able to understanding Jun Pyo kept looked at him.

“Isn’t this what you wanted to see? Didn’t you want to see me like this?” he asked again from him.

“Ji Hoo!” It was like he stuck in his words.

“Actually I didn’t have any intention meeting you again. And though by any chance if I meet you I was expecting the shade of happiness in your face because you did what you wanted and you could success in this battle. But, I cannot see that kind of happiness from your face by now. It makes me surprise right now… Don’t you need to be with her all the time and celebrate your achievement without wasting time here?”

Ji Hoo’s sarcastic and direct words slap Jun Pyo’s mind seriously. He knew what he was telling was true but truly he couldn’t achieve the happiness as he thought.

“Yoon Ji Hoo! I am glad, there is no doubt. I just got down here because I saw you”

He said trying to adjust his words. Ji Hoo placed his hands in to his pockets. He didn’t want to continue this conversation any more.

“Thanks but no need your help. I am alright by my own. I am familiar with being alone and heartbroken all the time in my life from my childhood. Losing the people I love is not a new thing to me. But before I leave now, let me tell you only one thing to you Jun Pyo…” Ji Hoo came closer to him when Jun Pyo was staring at him curiously.

“Sometimes the winner can be the looser at real sense and the looser can be the winner too… Though you have won, truly you have defeated and though I have defeated, truly I have won because the love and feelings of a person is not a war to fight and take back. It is the feeling which that person makes to move towards us how many times we try to limit them.”

Ji Hoo said staring at him deeply. He could see the changes in Jun Pyo’s face clearly too.

“You may have won the girl, but surely you have lost the love…”

Ji Hoo tapped Jun Pyo’s shoulder saying finally like this. He slowly left him there. The words of him were repeating in Jun Pyo’s ears like thunderstorms. He didn’t want to hear something like that from Ji Hoo. His senses didn’t let him to surrender to his words.

“Yoon Ji Hoo! She will be at my home so soon. Since we have engaged I am going to take her to my house and sooner we will get married too. Then all the embarrassments and doubts will be clear and with the time everything will be the same as in the past”

Jun Pyo shouted in order to Ji Hoo to hear through the distance. Ji Hoo could hear all his words but he didn’t stop his feet. His heart was aching a lot though he said what he wanted to tell.

‘Since we have engaged I am going to take her to my house and sooner we will get married too.’

He knew the day of Jun Pyo referred would not be so far. Since it is the engagement was done, it was a matter of fact for walking towards the marriage. He continuously walked towards the road when his tightened painful emotions were losing with this meeting of Jun Pyo.

Jun Pyo stared at the way he was going. The last words he spoke to him were repeating in his ears loudly. It was like he has truly defeated in this life.

‘You may have won the girl, but surely you have lost the love…’

When think about the behaviors of Jan Di right now, he knew that everything has transformed with her. He didn’t know whether she has feelings for him now or not. He didn’t want to dig it because he was still scared to know about it. He got in to his car and started the engine.   

………………………………

When the days were really difficult to pass and the life has stuck in somewhere where he didn’t know even the exit of this complication not only mentally even in physically he was getting little bit week. With the hospital shifts though he spent his day time there with the busy life style with patients, the night times were really hard to spend with the ongoing repeated pain and the loneliness inside of him. Instead of eating, most of the nights Ji Hoo used to have drink and slept. He didn’t want to be alcoholic who cannot bear the pain of the heart but most of the nights he used to have one or two shots in order to have a sleep.

The dreams he had to go to Japan with her were only dreams for his life. The life he dreamt to spend with her there was like a mirage to him. After he met Jun Pyo at the roadside and the hearing his words of intentions of marrying Jan Di soon in future was haunting in his mind every moment. He didn’t know how he could see something like that in his eyes ever.

Thinking lying in his bed about the memories of them was making him aroused and waved in his emotions a lot. It has been nearly two weeks he has not seen her.  Though she called him time to time, he has answered her saying that he was busy with the hospital all the time pretending that he was alright but at the end of the day when he came home, he felt missing her like crazy to the extend where he felt of ran towards her and hug her.

Few times he has met Eun Ji during the past weeks and she was really a good friend to him listening to him everything he wanted to say. He has not met his F4 friends much more because at the bachelor night he was notified by them that they would not like to intervene to this matter because they need both him and Jun Pyo.

The picture of Jan Di and him which was on his wallet was taking him back to where their memories were. He kept stared at it. The memories of six years were too much for him to forget. The heart of him was thumping loudly bit by bit when he wanted to feel her badly in this night. The pack of emotions was asking him to see her when it was really hard to live like that. Letting him to feel how much he loves her so far in this life, he touched his own chest while closing his eyes. The unloosened senses were transforming in to the tears and were falling down at the edges of his eyes making him want her warmth badly.

“beep……..beep……….beep………..”

He took the phone in to his hand and noticed it was Eun Ji. He answered the call wiping the tears.

“Yoon Ji Hoo! Where are you?” she asked

“I am at home” he said in week voice.

“Didn’t you go to hospital? You said that you would go for the night shift today” she asked again curiously.

“I didn’t go Eun Ji………. I am so tired…… Actually I think I am exhausted….. I don’t know what is happening in me……...” When his voice got broken a lot, she could understand his situation right now.

“Yoon Ji Hoo!” she murmured with a scare.

“I am feeling really lonely…….. It is like my heart was about to explode with these senses…….. I am really……..missing her Eun Ji……….. I am really…... really………missing her…like a hell……… I cannot make her life ruined……….but I cannot bear this anymore… what should I do?..…???”

It was a lie if there was not a tear came in her eyes at this moment. She could feel his emotions right away.

“Ji Hoo, I know it is not possible to stop missing her like this. But you must come to your true senses and think what you should do next. It will be more difficult to live like this in future than today…. Tell me then, what can I do for you…..?” she asked sadly wiping a small tear in her