Seoul, South Korea – December 10, 2016

LEE JIYEON | AYAKA

      I have always believed that love and understanding is the answer to all questions. It is with love that you show people that you understand them and it has taken me years to master the art of it. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I have a really long temper when it comes to people—may it be people who likes me or hates me. My mother is the one taught me to be understanding and loving towards people. She told me to always look at different perspectives before giving my final judgment. And today, I was able to exercise such value again and I am thankful that my mother taught me well.

      The whole day was really good especially when I started it great by having such good conversations with Kai. Until now, I couldn’t believe that he listened to my blabberings about my dream of having a child. Because all my friends back in Japan laughed at me for wanting something good. Even my brother thinks it was ridiculous for someone as young as me to think of wanting a child because as he says, I am too young. But Kai thinks otherwise, he thinks that we should talk about it as early as now because he said that having a relationship isn’t just about staying in the present time but also thinking about what would happen in the future. And I’m just really getting elated about how Kai told me that he sees me in his future and of course, I could tell him the same thing.

      Right now, the gang is helping Gayoung finish everything for the Christmas stage that the student council will be hosting for the upcoming Christmas party. Everyone is excited for it but they don’t know how much work was put into it just so it would be successful. Kai and I including Chanyeol, Sehun and Irene helped Gayoung finish everything before the party. The boys are at the auditorium, finishing all the stage props while Irene and I stayed at the council room to finish painting the small props that are needed. And to be honest, I am really feeling awkward with me and Irene staying in one room. We haven’t had such good impressions of each other thanks to our boys who made it really complicated from the start. I kind of hate Irene for harming Sehun and making him the way he is now—a womanizer, and a man who is afraid of being hurt again.

      “Uhm, can you pass me that brush?”

      I was suddenly snapped out of my trance when Irene spoke, asking me to pass the brush from my side to her’s.

      “Oh yes, uhm, here you go,” I stuttered as I handed her the paint brush.

      “Thanks,” she mumbled, smiling slightly as she continues to do her task.

      After that, the same icy silence engulfed us once again and somehow, I really feel like breaking it and starting a conversation in order for me to understand her and somehow, reduce the hatred that I am feeling towards her but before I could even start a conversation, she started talking.

      “I know that the first time we met was not really the best.” She started as she sighed, “And I also know that you kind of hate me,” she added as she laughs.

      “Yes, I do,” I answered back as I continued on painting the props while talking to her, “Well, you can’t blame me especially if you hurt one of my friends—either physically or mentally.” I exclaimed and Irene just nodded, probably understanding where I’m coming from.

      “I understand clearly,” she nodded, “Sehun told me everything about you and he mentioned that you’re overprotective of the people that you love.”

      “Sehun is like my long lost twin-brother and I want him to have the best of everything. And when I heard that you’re one of the reasons why he became the man that he is now, I couldn’t help but to feel mad.” I reasoned out, “I have seen Sehun’s heart and he is a warm, kind and loving man but he is putting up a façade for everyone to see—he wants to be known as a heartless man but clearly, he isn’t.” I sighed, putting down the brush as I turned to her. “Sehun was hurt and you coming back, just give the pain back to him, so yes, I kind of hate you.” I exclaimed honestly.

      “I love Sehun, I really do,” Irene exclaimed as she continued painting, trying to ease the tension between us, “But I love dancing more than anything—it’s my passion, my life… the air I breathe and Sehun understands that.” She muttered as she finally put down the paint brush and turned to me. “What I did to Sehun was unacceptable and I don’t want to say any excuses to fill up the void in my heart. Yes, I did leave him,” she sighed as she looks down and I swear, I saw a lone tear drop from her eyes, “And that was the worst mistake I have ever done in my life. I was selfish and blinded by the dreams that I want to live, but here I am now, trying to correct the mistakes that I have done.”

      I stared at her—looking as she poured her heart out while blaming herself for destroying Sehun’s heart and right there and then, I saw her motives. She made mistakes in the past and she’s back to make it all right. Sehun accepted her back so who am I to judge?

      I smiled as I scooted closer to her and placed my arms around her, “I understand,” I whispered, “And I’m sorry if I judged you immediately without hearing your reasons.” I exclaimed, “I still hate you but I have to admit that it kind of lessened.” I mumbled, “I just hope that you bring Sehun back and I would gladly want to meet the man that you fell in love with years ago.”

      The day finally ended and I am on my way home right now. Kai and the other boys are still in school, finishing everything so that Gayoung could finally breathe in relief. Irene and I on the other hand, decided to finish everything today and then go home. And I am thankful that I was able to spend the day with her because if I didn’t I would still be mad at her for hurting Sehun. She finally told me the reason behind why she broke up with Sehun. She told me that dancing is really important to her and when she was pursuing that dream, she realized that she wasn’t happy without Sehun in her life. I kind of feel sorry for her and now, I guess, we developed a special bond that only girls could understand.

      “I’m home!” I exclaimed as I went inside the house, feeling happy that I could rest for the rest of the night, especially now that I don’t have any assignments to do!

      “Oh, finally, you’re home!” said a familiar voice.

      I quickly looked up and saw my mom—who just came out of the kitchen—as she walks over to me.

      “Mom?!” I asked, surprised, “I… I thought you’re going to stay at the hotel?” I added, dumbfounded.

      “That wasn’t the reaction that you showed us hours ago,” mom exclaimed, laughing.

      “No… I… it’s just that I thought you guys are going to stay away from eonni as much as possible.” I muttered.

      “We asked Seojoon if we could stay and he said that we could, as long as we don’t spill any information regarding the ‘proposal’.” She answered back, whispering the last word as if my sister is here to hear it. “Besides I missed both of my babies! It’s just fitting for us to stay for the week!” she muttered happily.

      And right there and then, I knew, I screwed up!

      “Oh… yeah, of course,” I mumbled, my mind blank.

      You guys should be asking why I am so surprised and dumbfounded right now. It’s just that… my whole family thinks that Kai had already left the house since we cut off the fake engagement! And of course, I haven’t told them the truth about our true relationship and I’m certain as hell that I’m not yet ready to spill the tea!

      “Come on now, I made a very special dinner for the family.” Mom smiled as she started walking back towards the kitchen.

      “But… uhm, mom,” I called, unsure.

      “Yeah?” she asked back as I followed her towards the kitchen where she was cooking.

      “Where are you going to sleep?” I asked, hoping that they would forget about the room that Kai ‘used’ to stay in—the guest room.

      “The guest room, of course! The house has two guest rooms. Your father and I could stay in one room while Jaehwan could take the other.” She answered back, draining the color off my face.

      “Uhm… mom… I, ugh,” I blabbered, finding the right words to say or even know where to start but I couldn’t—I couldn’t find the right words to say and certainly, I don’t know how to start the freaking conversation.

      I mean, what would I say to her?! ‘Hey mom, Kai is actually staying at the guest room and we’re a real couple now, so basically, we’re living in.’ Am I supposed to say that to my mom?! I am sure as hell that she would go ballistic, specially my brother and my father!

      “Mom?!” I was snapped out of my internal battle when I heard my sister’s voice as she entered the kitchen.

      “Darling, I’ve been waiting for you all day!” mom exclaimed as she went to my sister’s place and hugged her tight, “You must be hungry! I cooked your favorite meals. Come and help me set up the dining table while you brother and father is resting upstairs.” Mom smiled and my sister just nodded as she went on and did what my mother asked her.

      “Uhm, mom, I’ll just talk with eonni.” I exclaimed and my mom just smiled and nodded, completely unaware of my internal battle.

      I quickly went towards the dining room and cornered my sister, wanting to have some advice from her.

      “They can’t stay here for the week!” I exclaimed, trying to keep my voice down as much as I could.

      “What do you mean?” eonni asked.

      “Kai! Kai is still staying at the guest room and they don’t have any clue that Kai and I are officially dating now, like for real!” I exclaimed, sounding frantic as the minutes pass by.

      “Well, I think this is the best time to tell them the truth!” eonni exclaimed, laughing but I just couldn’t do the same because for all I know, my brother would literally beat the hell out of my boyfriend because of how Kai’s father cut the engagement off.

      “I’m not yet ready, eonni!” I muttered, “I wanted to warm the topic first before completely telling them the whole truth!” I exclaimed, panicking.

      “Well, you have at least an hour to clean the guest room that shows Kai’s existence. And if I were you, I would start it now.” she advised and I quickly nodded, making my way upstairs to Kai’s bedroom.

      I opened the room with the spare key that I hid from my bag and quickly went inside to erase the evidence that Kai lived in here. I started getting rid of his clothes and transferring it to my room and then I went to the bathroom next to take all of his personal stuffs away—including the clothes that he already used and went to my room to put it on my laundry basket. I was so into cleaning the room until someone called my name.

      “Ayaka? What the hell are you doing?”

      I felt my heart leapt out of my chest as I turned towards the person who called me and saw my brother towering over me.

      “O-oppa…” I stuttered, my heart hammering against my chest.

      Am I… busted?!

      “What the heck are you doing with—“ he wasn’t able to finish what he was about to say when he saw what I was holding—clothes of a man, “Where did you get that from?!” he asked, surprised.

      “I… ugh…” I stuttered, trying to find the right words to say or even an excuse to let me off the hook, “Uhm… it’s Seojoon-oppa’s clothes!” I blabbered and somehow, I know, my brother was skeptical but I hope that he believes in my lies.

      Oh gosh, this is my first time lying to my brother! I can’t believe I’m doing this!

      “Oh…” oppa exclaimed as he nodded.

      And I thought I was off the hook. I was about to sigh in relief when my mother called me.

      “Lee Jiyeon! Will you come downstairs?! Someone is here for you.” Mom shouted from downstairs and I already know that I was busted.

      I quickly got rid of the clothes from my grip and quickly ran downstairs and as soon as I saw him standing in the living room, my spirit left my body.

      “What the hell is that guy doing in our house?!” my brother asked, sounding angry, “I thought that he already abandoned you and the engagement?”

      And there was Kai, standing, surprised as he’ll ever be. And gosh, we have a long night ahead.

Proverbs 12:2 - The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.