Seoul, South Korea – May 31, 2016

KIM JONGIN | KAI

      I slowly opened my eyes as I was awakened from my sleep. I was surprised to see Ayaka in front of me but then I remembered that I actually slept on her bed. I sighed and checked on Ayaka’s fever and thank God that it already subsided. I get up and removed the blanket from my body when my phone rang. Good thing Ayaka didn’t wake up.

      “Hello?” I greeted.

      “Tell me, where are you?”

      I looked at the screen of my phone and saw Sooyeon’s name on the screen.

      “I told you already, I’m with my mom.” I told her.

      “Really? I asked Mr. Sung about where your mom is and he told me that your mom is in a business trip since yesterday.”

      Okay, she sounds really mad right now so I think I need to tell her the truth.

      “Fine,” I sighed, “I’m here at Ayaka’s house because she’s sick and there’s no one to look after her.” I muttered as I buried my face on my palms.

      “When I agreed for her to be your FAKE girlfriend,” she said, emphasizing the word ‘fake’, “I didn’t think that you will act as one. You never did that when I was sick. You were never beside me whenever I needed you.” She told me as she hanged up.

      I looked at Ayaka’s sleeping form and sighed. I know she’s feeling bad right now but I just san’t stand Sooyeon getting mad at me.

      “You can go.” Ayaka mumbled, her eyes still closed.

      “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” She exclaimed as she try to get up.

      I quickly helped her lean against the head board and looked at her worriedly.

      “Just be sure to come back when you fix your things. Eonni might get made if she finds out that you left me.” She warned.

      “B-but…” I contradicted.

      “I know you want to go.” She muttered, “Trust me, I’m already fine after that sponge bath.” She smiled at me and I couldn’t help but to smile back.

      Ayaka is really one of the most understandable people I have ever met.

      “Call me when you’re feeling worst, I will go back here as soon as possible.” I told her.

      She just nodded back and smiled, “Go.”

      I nodded and left her room, not before glancing back at her figure. I sighed and quickly went to my car and head straight to school.

      I quickly called Sooyeon and greeted her, “Soo, meet me at the back of the school.”

      “I thought you’re with your so-called girlfriend?” she asked, sarcasm was lacing through her voice.

      “I left her okay? So please, meet me.” I begged.

      After some time, Sooyeon showed up looking pissed.

      “What do you want?” she asked, her arms crossed.

      “Please Soo, don’t misunderstand anything.” I told her, “It’s my fault why she’s sick. I didn’t know that she gets sick easily.” I explained but it seems that Sooyeon wasn’t listening to me.

      One thing that I don’t like about Sooyeon is her stubbornness and her lack of understanding.

      “You know what? I’m tired Kai, really.” She sighed as she looked down, “We’ve been working this relationship for almost a year and there’s no single day that we’re not fighting.”

      I felt my heart beat rising and many thoughts came to my mind but please, not this one.

      “S-sooyeon…” I called her but it seems like she didn’t hear me.

      “I love you, really I do…” Sooyeon muttered as tears started to well from her eyes, “But I just think that we’re not meant for each other.” I can already hear my heart breaking and I couldn’t help but to cry. “We’ve come this far but I think… it’s not worth it anymore. Let’s… let’s just break up.”

      “W-what?” I asked, not believing what I just heard.

      “I said, let’s break up Kai.” Sooyeon repeated, “It’s hard,” she cried, “It’s so hard to deal with your father, it’s so hard to deal with our problem. Everything! Everything is so hard…” she shouted, “I’m… I’m tired, I’m sorry.” She muttered and was about to leave when I quickly hugged her tight and cried on her shoulders.

      “Please Sooyeon… don’t do this to me. I will fight for us just please… don’t leave me.” I begged as I hug her tighter.

      I can’t afford to leave her. I can’t afford to lose her. Everyone in my life left me. My sisters, my grandfather whom I was so close to, my mom and dad… everyone left. Everyone can leave anytime just not Sooyeon… just not my Sooyeon.

      “Please Soo, I love you very much… please,” I pleaded while crying.

      I can’t continue my life is she leaves me…

      She turned to me with tears streaming in her face, “I’m sorry…” she apologized as she cupped my face, “I was just mad… I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She muttered, “No, we’re not braking up.” She sobbed and hugged me back.

      “Don’t ever do that Park Sooyeon,” I sobbed, “I’ll die if you leave me.” I muttered.

      “I won’t, I won’t do it ever again.” She answered, “I won’t let you die.”

      I just hope this is the first and last time she’ll say those three hurtful words.

      We spend the day together. We went to the mall and enjoyed each other’s company. I really missed my girl, the way she laughs and how she smiles.

      “Thank you for today, love.” Sooyeon smiled.

      We’re here in front of their house and I drove her home. It’s already 6:30 in the evening. Yeah, we were both carried by our emotions. That’s why we just laughed and smiled together the whole day.

      “Bye now!” she bid and kissed me goodbye.

      I went back to my car and went straight home. I parked my car back to my house and was about to head back to my room when I remembered Ayaka. ! I forgot about Ayaka!

      I ran as fast as I could and barged inside Ayaka’s house. The lights were off and when I reached her room, no one was there. I grew worried as soon as I found her room empty.

      “Ayaka?!” I shouted as I searched for her.

      I searched everywhere until I saw her bathroom’s light on. I just pray that she’s there and she’s fine.

      “Ayaka?” I asked.

      I opened her bathroom door and saw her sitting beside the toilet bowl. The bowl was full of bile and I know that Ayaka was the one who barfed. I suddenly felt guilty and I just want to kick my for leaving Ayaka behind.

      “Ayaka,” I called out. I walked closer to her, “I’m sorry,” I breathed out, “I’m really sorry.” I repeated.

      She was still there sitting beside the bowl. Her head buried on her arms. I went close to her and sat beside her. I feel so bad seeing her like this. I slowly cupped her face and made her look at me and then I felt how hot her face was. I knew right there that she was again burning with fever.

      “Ayaka,” I called, “Why do you have such high fever?” I asked as I feel the temperature of her forehead.

      “I’m okay,” she breathed as she closes her eyes.

      “How can you be fine when you’re burning with fever?” I asked her, frustrated.

      No, I wasn’t frustrated with her. I was frustrated with myself.

      “Why didn’t you call me?” I asked her, “I told you to call me when you’re feeling much worse.” I told her.

      I know this is my fault and I’m really sorry towards Ayaka.

      “You should’ve called me and told me that you were feeling much worse so I would come and bring you to the hospital.” I nagged.

      I looked at her and she wasn’t responding, she was just breathing heavily in front of me.

      “This won’t do,” I muttered, “I’ll call an ambulance.” I told her as I take out my phone and tried to dial the emergency hot line but Ayaka slowly grabbed my phone.

      “Ayaka,” I called exasperatedly.

      “I’m not going,” she mumbled.

      It’s not time for her to be stubborn. She’s burning with fever and she still doesn’t want to go to the hospital.

      “What are you going to do if you’re not going to the hospital?” I asked, “You’re sick!”

      “I’m still not going,” she answered back stubbornly.

      “If you keep doing this, you’ll die.” I told her.

      She just shook her head and sighed, “I’m fine.”

      She finally stood up and started walking away from me. I closed my eyes in frustration and I just wanted to punch myself right now. I flushed the toilet bowl but I was shocked when I heard something fall. I quickly went out of the bathroom and saw Ayaka lying on the floor.

      “Ayaka!” I shouted as I ran towards her.

      I grabbed her and let her lie on my lap, “Ayaka! Wake up!” I exclaimed as I tap her flushed cheeks.

      I quickly fished for my phone and dialed the emergency hot line. After some minutes, the ambulance arrived and we quickly went to the hospital. I was forced to wait while Ayaka was rushed to the emergency room.

      “What happened to the patient?” the nurse asked me.

      “She has high fever and just a moment ago, she threw up. Then after that, she fainted.” I answered back.

      “Did you give the patient any medicines?” she asked.

      “No, she actually have drug allergy.” I answered.

      The nurse just nodded and told me to fill Ayaka’s paper. After that, I waited for them to finish. After some minutes, the nurse approached me.

      “The patient’s awake now but we need her to be admitted.” She told me.

      She explained many things to me but I didn’t understand anything. The only thing that is clear to me is that Ayaka needs to be admitted. I went to Ayaka’s bed at the emergency room and saw her sleeping, her lips pale. I sat beside her and tucked her hair on her ears. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and looked at me with scared eyes.

      “I’m scared,” she whispered.

      “Why are you scared when I’m here?” I asked her. 

1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.