Seoul, South Korea – September 9, 2016

LEE JIYEON | AYAKA

      I have treated Myungsoo as my best friend, along with Gayoung. I have told them things that I would never dare tell anybody. I trust them with all my heart and know that they will only want the best for me. And when Myung told me that ugly side of his life, we became closer than ever. We have learned to accept the hideous sides of our lives and shared it with each other. We didn’t dare to judge ourselves but instead, we understood and accepted everything between us and I am happy to find someone like Kim Myungsoo. He is my guy best friend and I just love talking to him about my secrets and all because I know that he will not sugarcoat anything and he will surely tell on me if something is bad for me, especially about my decisions. Maybe that’s why I decided to tell him about Kai.

      “Kai…” I started, I can feel him staring at me but I didn’t meet his eyes. I trained my eyes outside the window, watching the river. “…I’m falling in love with him.”

      I don’t know how he would react about my confession but what surprised me was when he began chuckling.

      “Can you tell me something that I don’t already know?” he asked me.

      I turned to him and was quickly met by his eyes, a quirky smile was across his face.

      “W-what?” I asked, stuttering.

      “Do you think I don’t know?” he asked, chuckling.

      “H-how…” I asked, not finishing my words.

      “I’m your best friend, Ji.” He exclaimed, “Do you think I don’t see how your eyes glisten whenever Kai is brought up? Or whenever you talk about him?”  he asked me, “Because I see everything clearly.” He told me, “The way you stare at him like he’s your favorite person in the world—hell, I think he is. The way you laugh around him… everything, I see it all. I just don’t know why other people can’t see it.” He chuckled, “I mean, Chanyeol and Sehun doesn’t seem to see but I guess Gayoung already know.”

      I shook my head and rest it against the window, “I don’t know what to do anymore,” I mumbled.

      “You fell in love with him, so what?” he asked, “Why are you sad?”

      “You know that guy is still head over heels Sooyeon.” I muttered, “I don’t stand a chance.” I exclaimed.

      “So, what do you want to do now?” he asked.

      “I want to avoid him at all cost,” I answered, not really thinking about what I said but I guess that is the best option for me—I guess, that’s the only option.

      “Are you sure?” he asked and shook my head.

      “Myung, please don’t ask me again. I might be a coward and take everything that I just said,” I exclaimed and Myung just nodded.

      Silence blew inside the car and I was just there, looking outside the window. I still didn’t want to go home and I guess Myung sensed that. We just stayed in his car for the next hours and he decided to bring me back home when it was already 1:30 AM.

      “Come on, let’s get you home.” he muttered, “It’s already 1:30 AM.” He added and was about to start the engine when I stopped him.

      “I don’t want to go home yet,” I muttered, “Let’s stay here for a minute, first.” I added.

      “Jiyeon-ah, your sister might be looking for you.” He muttered, “I don’t want her to b worried.” He told me.

      I didn’t agree but since Myungsoo was persistent, we got to go home by 2 AM. Myung even sent me to our door to make sure that I will not leave once he drives away.

      “Don’t leave the house anymore, it’s already 2 AM.” He told me and I just nodded.

      “Thank you for tonight Myung,” I exclaimed and he just smiled.

      “That is what friends are for,” he smiled and offered me a hug that I quickly accepted, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow so be up early.” He told me and I nodded.

      “Thank you for helping me.”

      We decided to go to school together in order for me to avoid Kai completely and I’m just happy that he’s helping me with what I want. Myungsoo is really a reliable friend.

Seoul, South Korea – September 10, 2016

      I just got home from school and Myung decided to accompany me again. The whole day was uneventful since Kai wasn’t at school. I don’t know why he’s absent since I haven’t seen him since yesterday night. I was with Myung all the time and I’m thankful because I was able to remove the things that were going inside my mind.

      “Thanks Myung, for the time.” I waved and went inside the house.

      I didn’t want to ask him inside, Kai might be there and I know too well that the two might just fight. I went inside the house and saw eonni and oppa sitting at the couch.

      “I’m home,” I announced.

      “Jiyeon-ah, what happened between you and Kai?” eonni asked.

      “H-huh?” I asked.

      “Kai left this morning, fuming when he found out that you left him then he came back all drenched in rain. Did he even go to school?” she asked.

      “What?!” I asked, surprised.

      I immediately went upstairs and decided to check on Kai. That crazy, little crap! What iss he thinking, getting drenched in rain?! I slowly opened the door to his room and was surprised to see him covered with blanket and his aircon and fan was shut off. Then everything came to me… Kai is sick. I quickly forgot everything that I told Myung and went closer to Kai. I sat beside his bed and called him.

      “Kai?” I asked.

      He needs me right now, especially now that he’s sick. I removed his blanket and saw him chilling.

      “A?” he asked, his voice was hoarse.

      “Kai, it’s me.” I muttered.

      “I think I'm sick.” he mumbled.

      I felt his forehead and I was shocked to feel how hot he was!

      “Oh my gosh, you’re burning!” I exclaimed, “Stay here, I’ll go get eonni.” I told him and was about to leave when he held my hands, stopping me.

      “No,” he shook his head, closing his eyes in the process, “Stay beside me A,” he mumbled.

      I don’t know what to do so I decided to stay and held his hands.

      “I need to get you some meds,” I told him and gave him a comforting smile but he was quick to shake his head.

      “No, please,” he begged, “Don’t leave me.” He tried his best to get up and give me a little space beside him, “Stay with me,” he muttered.

      I wanted to decline but knowing Kai, he would insist and beg me to stay with him. I finally sighed and surrendered.

      “Fine,” I exclaimed, “I’ll stay here beside you.” I told him, “Just rest now and get better.” I muttered as I lay down beside him.

      But I was shocked with what happened next, he quickly snuggled closer to me and hugged me tight and said, “To make sure you’ll not leave.” He mumbled as he closed his eyes.

      My heart was in frenzy. I could hear the loud thumps of my heart while Kai was hugging me cozily and I just hope he’s not well enough to hear the elephants inside my heart. Kai, why are you doing this to me? Why torture me this way?

      “Why Kai?” I whispered but Kai didn’t answer.

      He was already asleep. I guess he’s really in pain and he just wanted to rest. I smiled and stared at his angelic face. I couldn’t believe that he’s such a pain in the when he’s awake but he’s the same guy whom I fell inlove with. Minutes have passed and Kai’s fever was going down already and I was thankful. He was still fast asleep and I was just there, brushing his hair.

      “Will you ever love me back?” I whispered. I quickly felt a lump on my throat and I was trying hard not to cry but failed miserably, “I’m just here… I will be here, always.” I mumbled as I leaned towards his face and did something that I might regret—I kissed his lips, “I love you.” I told him and I just feel pathetic. I stared at his beautiful face and felt the tears streaming down my face, “I will always be here but you can’t stay in my heart forever.” I whispered as I continued to brush his brown locks, “I don’t want to be a martyr Kai… I don’t want to hurt anymore.” I muttered as I slowly let go of his hands and stared at his face, “This will be the last time…” I promise, I won’t consider my feelings for you any more.

      And with that, I left Kai’s room—leaving my feelings there too.

Author's message ♥

Another chapter here for everyone. It is a bit short but it is still a very important part of the story. I hope you guys liked the update and when you do, please do subscribe, comment your thoughts and please, do upvote! Those things really means alot to me so yeah!

I also want to recommend everyone to please check out KRIESHA CHU's debut song on youtube, titled 'Trouble'! The song is lit as well as her other song, 'I wish it were you' ft. HIGHLIGHT's Yong Junhyung. Her songs are produced by HIGHLIGHT's Yong Junhyung and Kim Taeju. Please make sure to visit her song! She's the very first Filipina to become a KPOP star so please, let's support her!

Also, I would like to dedicate this to my kababayan who are suffering under the terrorist attacks in Mindanao--Marawi, in particular. I pray that God would protect everyone and may He give light to our leaders especially to our President Duterte. I also dedicate this to those who are affected by the Manchester tragedy in the United Kingdom and the tragedy that happened in Bangkok. Lastly, I dedicate this too to Kim Woobin who was diagnosed with cancer just yesterday. I pray that God will heal you! All my prayers go out to everyone! Please do pray guys! It's not our religion but our faith that we believe in!

Spread love everyone! Love, Jihyun ♣

Romans 13:10 - Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.