Seoul, South Korea – October 27, 2016

OH SEHUN

      I have known Bae Joohyun for the longest time already. And being with her for the past years, I have learned almost everything about her. She is a beautiful girl with tons of talents. She can dance, act and play numerous instruments—that’s one reason why I actually fell in love with her. She’s not only beautiful in her physical appearance but also on the inside. She has the passion for people. She loves giving people happiness—may it be through her smiles or may it be through her dances. She would always want to please everybody just to make them happy. However, just like any other people, she’s not perfect. She has a bad attitude that you will see once you get to know her more. She’s lazy—she leaves her worn clothes anywhere and just lies down her bed and wouldn’t care about anything. But that’s kind of something to expect since she works her off to perfect every routine in ballet.  She’s also impatient—she cannot wait for her life’s sake. She wouldn’t wait for anybody because she doesn’t want wasting time. If she will leave with you, it’s either you come first or do not come at all. Lastly, she doesn’t step on her pride, scratch that, she never steps on her pride. No matter what she did, even if she is wrong, she will never apologize. She will just make it up to you but will never say the words, “I’m sorry”. She will make up for the things she did but she will never step on her pride.

      And today, I saw a change in her. The impatient and prideful Joohyun I met years ago is here inside my house. The once impatient girl I knew, waited for who knows when outside my house, getting drenched by the rain. And the girl that never said sorry is here in my living room, mouthing the words I never knew she could spit out.

      “Hun-ah, I’m… really sorry,” she exclaimed as soon as Chanyeol left the house, “If you could just listen to me… If you could just give me a chance.” She whispered.

      You know, if this is some normal days when we were still together, I would’ve forgiven her right away. But too bad it’s not any normal day and also, we’re not together anymore so… I didn’t accept her apology. The pain she gave me is still fresh and I don’t think it ever healed.

      “I’ll get you some clothes,” I told her, completely ignoring everything that she said, “Go and take a bath so you wouldn’t get sick.” I exclaimed and was about to leave the living room when she started talking.

      “Fine!” she shouted, “You don’t want to talk to me, I get it,” she exclaimed but I didn’t turn to her but instead, I stood there, my back facing her as I listened to what she was about to say. “I know that whatever I do, you will never forgive me,” she exclaimed as I heard her sniffed and I know for sure that she’s already crying. “What I did was horrible and choosing my dreams over you is something really—“ before she could even finish her words, I cut her off.

      “Do you still think that this is about you choosing ballet over me?” I asked as I turned to her. “I will never… ever hinder you to chase your dreams.” I exclaimed, “If you only told me earlier, I would have been there and cheered you on. If only you didn’t let go of my hands and walked away, I could have waited for you no matter how long it takes.” I felt my heart beating loudly and for the first time in years, I was able to say the things I badly wanted to tell her. I was able to voice out the pain that I was keeping inside my heart, “But you chose to leave and break up with me… but even then, I stayed by your side.” I couldn’t help it but tears started to fall from my eyes. They say that true men don’t cry but I beg to disagree—true men cry and are not afraid to be judged. “But what did I get? You pushed me away when I went to New York and watch you. You pretended that you didn’t know me in front of your colleagues.” The memories started to flood me and started playing like a sick tape at the back of my head.  “I would have understood everything… but you—you pretending that you didn’t know me at all ing hurt me.”

      “I-I’m sorry,” she cried as she buried her face in her palms, “I’m really sorry,” she mumbled.

      Joohyun made me cry numerous of times… numerous nights I would ask myself why and cry myself to sleep. And at one point I told myself that once I see her cry, we would get even. But I guess, I’m wrong… so ing wrong in many levels. Because seeing her cry felt like someone was stabbing me to death and worse, she was crying… because of me.

      I couldn’t help myself but to walk towards her and for the first time in a while, I hugged her. I covered her with my arms and patted her back as she cried aloud. And as soon as my hands touched her skin, every pain was forgotten. It felt like it never really happened.

      I badly missed her—her smiles, hugs and kisses.

      “Ssh,” I cooed, “I-I’m sorry,” I mumbled as I tried to soothe her. “Stop crying,” I whispered as I continue to pat her back.

      I don’t know how many minutes passed but we stayed like that until she wasn’t crying anymore.

      “I’m sorry,” she whispered again as I let go of her.

      “I’ll go get some clothes.” I mumbled as I ignored her words once again, “Go and take a bath.” I exclaimed and finally had the will to leave.

      I went back to my room and grabbed the medium sized box under my bed and opened it. A smile forced a way into my lips when I saw it again. It was still the same—a white shirt that says “Best Ballerina in his world”, a pair of jeans and a white converse. You guys must be wondering where I got this. This is actually the one that I was supposed to give her the night she broke up with me. This is my anniversary gift for her but I never got the chance to give it to her because we split up that night.

      I went out of my room and waited for her outside the comfort room.

      “Here are your clothes,” I shouted from outside the comfort room.

      She opened the door slowly and grabbed the things that I prepared for her and then shut it back again. I was about to leave to wait for her in the living room when she started talking.

      “I love you,” she exclaimed from the other side of the door, “I always loved you,” she repeated, “And I will get you back whatever it takes,” she sniffed as it echoes on the bathroom walls, “I will woo you if that’s what you want. I will court you if that’s what it takes… I will show you how much I love you everyday.” I was standing there, frozen, “I will not give up.” She exclaimed, “And be ready Hun-ah,” she breathed, “Because I will be glued to you like a pest until we come back to each other’s arms.”

LEE JIYEON | AYAKA

      The three of us finally left the house and went to a fancy restaurant. Kai and I were nervous and we were holding each other’s hands as we enter the restaurant. Soeun-eonni was the one leading the way and she finally stopped at the table beside the window, over looking the beautiful streets of Seoul. Kai and I sat in front of her quietly as we waited for her to speak.

      “The usual,” Soeun-eonni exclaimed to the waiter and it seemed like she’s a regular here.

      “Coming right up Ms. Kim,” the waiter exclaimed as he left, leaving the three of us alone.

      “So,” she started as she stared at us, “I actually invited Jiyeon for a dinner so that we could talk.” She exclaimed, “But after hearing that little speech of you, my brother, I decided to take you with us too.”

      “What is this noona?” Kai asked impatiently, “Will you cut with the chase and get straight to the point?” he added.

      “I know that you love her Kai,” eonni exclaimed which caused us to be surprised, “I knew ever since I got the first report about you two.” She muttered, “The only reason why I acted like I didn’t like her was because I was testing the both of you.” Kai and I looked at each other as we continued to listen to his sister, “You guys were confused at the start and I just wanted to see if you guys really love each other and you’re not getting confused with everything that was happening around you.” She turned to me and for the first time, she smiled, genuinely, “And I saw how clear your love was for each other. You may have been confused in the start but you were able to sort things out and find the right things.” She then turned to her brother and smiled, “I’m happy that you’re finally happy my brother. Continue what you’re doing and find your happiness that I once lost.” She exclaimed.

      After that, as if on cue, the waiter came back with food on his hands. He placed two platters in front of us and smiled, “Bon appetite.”

      “Eat,” eonni commanded, “Enjoy the night and take this as my treat.” She winked and left.

      While we were there, astounded and shocked with everything that happened.

Seoul, South Korea – November 4, 2016

      It has been a week now since Kai’s sister, Soeun finally gave us her blessings. I was really thankful for every word that she said and in fact, we’re keeping in touch through messages. And slowly, we’re getting close with each other. Kai was actually over the moon that night too because finally, I am more than welcome in their home and family—well, except for Yeri, we’re still on talks with her. But overall, everything is falling in to place and I couldn’t be anything but happy. Kai’s family finally knew the real score between us and almost all of his family is welcoming. Sehun and Joohyun, as I’ve heard, had already talked but not to the point of reconciling. And I’m really happy for the both of them, atleast they have some progress. Myungsoo also tried coming with us in the gang even though him and Kai constantly bicker like Tom and Jerry but I’m happy that he has someone to spend lunches with. Kai and I have had a great time these past fews days and lastly, I’m happy that our house is full right now. Keiko-eonni and Seojoon-oppa rarely goes home these past few days since they have been busy with their works but now, they finally came back home and they’re not as busy as they were so we decided to have a grand dinner tonight just to catch up and all that.

      “Joon-ah!” eonni shouted from the kitchen.

      “Yes?” oppa asked as he went to the kitchen while Kai and I were sitting in the living room, watching Netflix.

      “Go and buy some groceries.” I heard eonni exclaimed, “Why don’t you take those two so that you guys would be productive.” She mumbled.

      And as oppa exited the kitchen, he turned to us.

      “Come on guys, your sister wanted us to do the grocery,” he exclaimed.

      “Sure, let’s go,” I smiled as I pulled Kai from the couch and started walking out of the house.

      We went inside oppa’s car and settled in. We went to the grocery store near the house as we walked by the hallway, picking up some stuffs for eonni’s masterwork.

      “What does eonni wants to cook?” I asked as we continue on walking down the grocery store.

      “She wanted to have some samgyupsal, she also wanted to have bulgogi, some salad and salmon.” He answered back as he picked up a bottle of soy sauce and put in on our cart.

      “I guess we’re having a feast tonight,” Kai laughed as we walked together, hand in hand.

      “Well, you guys know how Keiko goes all out when it comes to food.” Oppa laughed.

      “Then you wouldn’t be starving when you guys get married,” I kid which caused oppa to smile but he was kind of silent and it was strange.

      “Well, speaking of which,” he exclaimed as he cleared his throat awkwardly, “Since you’re the only family she got here in Korea, I wanted to ask for your permission first.”

      My heart was beating so loud and I was beyond excited for whatever news oppa was about to tell us.

      “What is it?” I asked, surpressing my excitement.

      “I want to marry your sister,” he finally blurted out, “And I want your permission as her family.”

1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.