Tongyeong, South Gyeongsang Province, South Korea – June 27, 2016

KIM JONGIN | KAI

      “Why did you do that?” I asked.

      I just can’t believe that Sooyeon has done such things. She has done many bad things to me already but I know that she’s not capable of lying to me. If ever she really did that, I’m sure that she has a reason for it.

      “Did what?” she asked, clueless.

       “Why did you li—“ I wasn’t able to finish what I was trying to say when Sooyeon’s friends called her.

      “Sooyeon-ah!” one of her friends called her, “It’s time for the quidditch match!”

      Sooyeon turned to me and smiled, “I’m sorry, I guess I need to go.” She exclaimed. She was about to leave when she stopped midway and turned back to me, “I’m thankful that we’re not as awkward as before. Let’s continue being friends.” She added before leaving completely.

      I don’t know what to do anymore but for the meantime, I need to apologize to Ayaka but I don’t know how to. I’m not a very verbal person and saying sorry is already too much for me.

      “Kai! There you are!” one of my group members exclaimed, “Come on, it’s time for the quidditch match.” I just nodded and followed him.

      It has been hours already and the quidditch match and amazing race is already finished. Right now, we are preparing for our dinner. I haven’t seen Ayaka after I talked to her in my room. I kept asking Gayoung but she was ignoring me. I bet that Ayaka will probably come out now since it’s already dinner time and I’m not mistaken. I can see her walking through the hall together with—“Kim Myungsoo?” I mumbled under my breath.

      What is that guy doing with Ayaka?

      “Myung, come on sit with us.” Ayaka exclaimed as she lead Myungsoo to our group’s table.

      “Naah, I’ll just sit with my group. I just made sure that you will eat since Gayoung said you were not feeling well.” L exclaimed and Ayaka just pouted.

      “Tss, fine,” Ayaka exclaimed. Seriously, is she showing some aegyo to that guy? “Eat well. Thanks again,” L just nodded and left Ayaka in our table.

      Finally! I have been waiting for Ayaka. Actually, I waited for her at the playground since I told her that I will talk to her there but she never came. I guess she’s really upset. I quickly went to Ayaka’s side but before I could even sit beside her, Gayoung and Jinah sat each beside Ayaka.

      “Seriously?” I muttered under my breath.

      Gayoung glared at me and smirked. This girl seriously hates me too huh? I just decided to shrug it off and sit in front of Ayaka but before I could even sit on the chair, Sungyeol sat on it.

      “Sorry, the seat’s taken.” Sungyeol exclaimed.

      Why are these guys being like this? I looked at Ayaka and she was just staring at me pitifully. If I were the same person before I met Ayaka, I would have punched this guy’s face for being an but I know that Ayaka will just get angry with me if I’ll do that, so I won’t.

      “I-it’s fine,” I muttered as I faked a smile.

      I held my tray and searched for my friends. Which I mean friends, I mean Chanyeol and Sehun. Yes, they are here at the retreat. It has been days since they started going back to school but since I am always busy with my fake fiancé, I didn’t have the chance to talk or bond with them.

      “Kai!” Sehun shouted as he waved at me.

      I went to their side and sat in front of them.

      “Why are you alone? You should be sitting with your group mates.” Chanyeol muttered.

      “Well I guess they don’t want me there,” I answered bitterly as I ate my dinner.

      “And why so?” Sehun asked.

      “I don’t know,” I answered back, continuing.

      “By the way, what happened to Jiyeon? I didn’t saw her at the amazing race,” Sehun asked.

      This guy is seriously nosy when it comes to Ayaka.

      “She was at her room, resting,” I answered.

      “Why? Is she not feeling well?” Sehun asked worriedly.

      “Don’t worry about my fiancé, Sehun.” I exclaimed, “She was just a bit dizzy after she was hit by a ball.”

      I already told Chanyeol and Sehun about me and Ayaka. They were so jealous that I am actually engaged with her. They said that I am so lucky to have someone like Ayaka, which I think is partly true.

      “What?!” Sehun asked, “Who hit her?! I will hit that guy too!” Sehun shouted angrily.

      Seriously, why is this guy so hyper today?

      “Will you keep it down Oh Sehun? You’re too loud,” Chanyeol nagged.

      “Seriously, who’s that guy who hit Jiyeon?” he asked.

      “Shut up, it’s not a guy,” I muttered as I take a spoonful of my food.

      “Then who’s that girl?” Sehun asked again.

      “Sooyeon,” I answered.

      “I’m going to hit that stupid bit—wait, what?!” Sehun asked before she could even say that hurtful word. He just realized that I was talking about my ex.

      “You mean Park Sooyeon?” Chanyeol asked and I nodded.

      “Actually, Ayaka and I had fought because of her,” I told them.

      “Why? What happened?” Sehun asked, being curious all of a sudden.

      “Well, last time… Sooyeon and I met at the hall at school. I was going to ignore her and try to stand up on my feet but she talked to me.” I told them.

      “Oh men, that’s tough.” Chanyeol commented.

      “And?” Sehun asked, urging me to continue my story.

      “She told me to tell Ayaka to stop bugging her. Of course, me being still in love with her, I asked her what’s the matter,” I sighed and continued, “She told me that Ayaka was bothering her and she even slapped her one time.” The both of them gasped in surprise.

      “Jiyeon did that?!” Sehun asked, surprised.

      “Wait, why would Jiyeon do that? I mean, she doesn’t have any grudges towards Sooyeon, right?” Chanyeol asked.

      “I know but Sooyeon said that Ayaka came up to her and started telling her that she’s a cold blooded for letting me go, then after that, Sooyeon said Ayaka slapped her.” I exclaimed.

      Looking back now, I just can’t believe that I actually listened to what Sooyeon said. I mean, it would take a miracle for Ayaka to say such things. I guess I was really too blind whenever Sooyeon is involved. I guess that is how I still love her.

      “I can’t believe that.” Sehun exclaimed.

      “Me too,” Chanyeol second the motion, “Even though it has only been a really short amount of time since I met Jiyeon, I can already tell that she’s a great person and she will never do that.”

      I just wish that I had the same reaction when I heard that story from Sooyeon but too bad that I was too impulsive and I quickly listened to her without even hearing Ayaka’s side or even confirming if what Sooyeon told me was true.

      “But the question is, did you believe your ex-girlfriend?” Sehun asked as he crossed his arms.

      “That’s the problem,” I sighed as I looked on my empty plate, “I listened to Sooyeon and believed her. I confronted Ayaka and told her hurtful things.” I muttered.

      “Seriously dude?!” Chanyeol asked, surprised.

      “What’s wrong with you man?” Sehun asked as he shook his head, “I guess you’re really blind when it comes to Sooyeon huh?”

      “You know that Sooyeon is capable of anything. Remember that before becoming your girlfriend, she was a bully and everyone is afraid of her.” Chanyeol reminded me.

      Suddenly, the past came back rushing to me. I quickly shook it off because I don’t want to remember those anymore.

      “So what now? Is Jiyeon still upset?” Chanyeol asked.

      “Yeah,” I answered, “I guess, she’s avoiding me.”

      “Then talk to her,” Sehun adviced.

      “Tss,” I hissed, “I would have. If only her best friend is giving me the chance to talk to her.” I exclaimed, remembering Gayoung.

      Gayoung is really attached to Ayaka, I can see it. They are always together and she sees Ayaka as her best friend and I know that she’s probably mad at me because of what I have done to her best friend. Seriously, I can’t understand girls.

      “By you mean best friend, you mean the student council’s PRO?” Chanyeol asked.

      I nodded, “Gayoung doesn’t want me near Ayaka so I can’t really talk to her properly.” I told them.

      “Aigoo, that’s a tough problem you got there, bro.” Sehun sighed.

      “Can you guys help—“ I wasn’t able to finish what I was about to say when our teacher spoke, “Clean up, everyone and be ready for bed. Tomorrow is another day here in Tongyeong and for the first activity tomorrow, we will be hiking so please wake up early so you can do your daily rituals before leaving for the mountain.” Mr. Go exclaimed with a bright smile in his face.

      “Kai, we need to go. Our team mates are already in their rooms,” Chanyeol exclaimed.

      I sighed and nodded.

      “Okay, thanks for listening.” I exclaimed.

      “No problem Jongin,” Chanyeol exclaimed as he pats my back.

      “You need to apologize to my Jiyeon, okay? Don’t make her upset again or I’ll steal her from you,” Sehun muttered before leaving.

      This guy, did she just called Ayaka, “My Jiyeon”?!

      “Yah! Don’t call her that. Ayaka is my fiancé,” I exclaimed as I stuck out my tongue childishly.

      “Whatever,” Sehun chuckled.

      I just shook my head. Those guys are seriously crazy. I went back to the boy’s quarters and searched for my medicine box. I always carry this since my vitamins are my life. I also put some medicines that I got from Keiko-noona’s medicine box inside the comfort room. Good thing that these are medicines that Ayaka can take so it will be okay for her to drink it without getting any allergic reaction. Noona has been storing medicines in their medicine box since Ayaka got sick.

      “I hope she gets better soon,” I mumbled.

      I took the bottle and left the room and give it to Ayaka. This medicine is good for relieving dizziness and headaches. I was about to go to the girl’s quarters when Mrs. Nam blocked me.

      “Where are you going Kim?” she asked.

      “U-uhm…” I stuttered.

      “It’s already bath time and all the girls are preparing to sleep. What can I do for you?” she asked.

      I shook my head, “Just a minute,” I exclaimed.

      I went back to my room and grabbed a post-it from Taemin’s table and wrote:

      I know that she might take this the wrong way but I surely care for her. I know how bad it gets whenever she’s sick and I don’t want that to happen here in our retreat. She needs to have fun, after all that happened between her and me… as well as, between her and Sooyeon. 

      “Haah, I just hope that she will take this,” I muttered.

      I went to the girl’s quarters and handed the plastic with the medicine to Mrs. Nam.

      “Please give this to Lee Jiyeon, Mrs. Nam.”

      Mrs. Nam just nodded and grabbed the plastic. I looked back before going back to the boy’s quarters. I hope that tomorrow, I’ll be able to talk to her and apologize properly. I just pray that she sees how sorry I am for not believing her.

Jeremiah 51:8 - Suddenly Babylon has fallen and been broken; Wail over her! Bring balm for her pain; Perhaps she may be healed.